


Falling

by Idril_Telperien1



Series: Fallen Verse [1]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-01
Updated: 2013-12-16
Packaged: 2017-11-27 20:11:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 39
Words: 86,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/665992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idril_Telperien1/pseuds/Idril_Telperien1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the death of Haley Aaron hires Marley to help look after Jack, who instantly catches the attention of a certain Dr. When her association with the BAU puts her in danger will Spencer risk everything to keep her safe?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Marley

**1\. Marley**

**Marley Prince POV**

“Go to sleep, kid.” I practically begged Jack as the pain in my legs from crouching by his bed during the long winded goodnight ritual reached a new peak. I ’d spent the last hour and a half reading countless stories and singing random songs that came into my head, usually half complete ditties that meant I had to spend an hour afterwards googling them all to check who had written them and what the lyrics were. After all he had been through I could hardly moan but sometimes I wished I’d got my hands on an easier kid. Then I felt hideously guilty; I guessed this was what parenting was like.

“One more song.” He whispered tiredly. I grinned as I realised we were nearly there; I decided to finish it off quickly with his favourite.

 “Frere Jacques, Frere Jacques,   
Dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?   
Sonnez les matines, sonnez les matines   
Ding dang dong, ding dang dong. ”      

When I stood up to leave and he made no protest I realised I’d done it. Such a small victory and yet I relished in it. Man, I needed a life. When I’d come here I’d thought it would be easy but Jack was testing all my boundaries. I’d needed the money; my family couldn’t afford to send me to college especially to study philosophy.

_If I’m wasting fifty thousand dollars on your education I want it to be in something that will get you a good job afterwards._ As my Father had so graciously put it.

_That’s not the point, you should go for the knowledge, it’s its own reward._ Needless to say I lost which was why I’d started looking for something that would pay more than the few hours of dance teaching I’d been offered. So I’d found Aaron and Jack; he gave me a roof over my head and a decent wage all for what I’d considered at the time to be child’s play.

 I could remember the interview as if it was yesterday; walking into the house before sitting at the oak table opposite the strict looking Aaron Hotchner. He looked to be in his forties with a thick head of dark hair and a dress shirt and tie that reminded me somewhat of an old teacher I’d had. Not that I would ever offer him this opinion; he’d once told me that he could kill a man without a gun. He’d begun asking me awkward questions that my brain refused to help me answer:     

_“So why do you want the job?” Aaron asked as we sat at his kitchen table._

_“Well.” I paused as every good response I had was blown out my mind. “I’m good with children... and... well, its close to the college so I can study and look after Jack... and... and... I like kids.” I finished feebly before putting my head in my hands. “Look, I might not have the kind of qualifications that all those others have but I’m going to try really hard to be the best nanny you’ll ever find.”_

_“That’s all I can ask.” He smiled at me, making me feel more comfortable. “What are you going to be studying?”_

_“Philosophy.”_

_“I know someone who’s stating it. He works with me, his name’s Spencer.”_

_“I thought when you went to work that was it for studying?”_

_“He likes studying. I could introduce you to him; members of the team are often around here.”_

_“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” I grinned at him hoping I was right in my assumption._

_“Shall I show you your room kid?” He said as he stood up with a smile on his face._

_“Thank you, thank you!” I squealed before throwing my arms around him._

It had been six weeks since I’d moved in and my course started tomorrow which worried me greatly. It wasn’t just the usual start of term nerves but the idea of how I would cope with the young boy and all the work I’d be expected to do. I’d manage, I told myself forcefully as I tiptoed downstairs to make myself a steaming cup of coffee to compose myself. Aaron was late again but I didn’t really mind too much, at least I got the house to myself. Just as the thought came into my mind the door opened and I could hear loud laughter as several people entered the house. Panic flashed through my mind as I thought of another ninety minutes with Jack trying to coax him into sleep.

“Aaron.” I hissed as I shoved my head around the door to be confronted by several agents getting out of their coats. His eyes met mine before looking upstairs.

“How long?” He mouthed at me, I held up four fingers to symbolise the four minutes I’d been downstairs. He gave me an apologetic look before motioning to the others to follow him into the living room. I was already heading through the living room to the kitchen as I congratulated myself on a crisis averted when I could clearly hear the loud whisper from one of his agents:

“Wow, I can see why you hired her; I mean doing it with the nanny has to be up there with a school teacher as the ultimate fantasy.”

“Morgan!” Aaron growled as they made their way into the living room. “It’s barely legal!”

“Coffee?” I ask as they all followed me through into the kitchen.

“We bought take out. Something to apologise for staying out so late again.”

“Its fine, I was thinking that I could save up all these extra hours for my trip to Brazil.” I grinned at Aaron who rolled his eyes.

“You’re a smooth operator kid. Let me guess you’re leaving with her, Reid?”

“If I can.” The man he’d called Reid looked up from where he’d sat down at the table. He looked a few years older than me with curly brown hair and hazel eyes. He was wearing a dress shirt that was pushed up passed his elbows; revealing bony arms and long hands.

“This is Spencer Reid. I told you about him, he’s doing philosophy too.” I smiled and shook his hand.

“Marley, it’s nice to meet you.” He smiled and returned the compliment. Aaron continued to introduce me to the rest of his team, when we came to Derek Morgan I recognised his voice as the one who had decided I should be Aaron’s fantasy; that was so wrong! He was old enough to be my Father for crying out loud! So I decided to get my own back. Instead of shaking his hand I took a step forward to whisper in his ear although still loudly enough for the others to hear, all the while pressing myself lightly against him. I could feel his body tightening in shock.

“Just so you know, I’m 22 so I’m all legal and if you every feel like getting together some time...” I paused, allowing the sentiment to sink in as I gently ran a hand over his shirt. “Then go fuck yourself, Honey, or Aaron because he’s not getting any of this either. Got that pretty boy?” I tapped him gently on the cheek before turning and taking a seat beside Spencer who grinned at me.

“Touché, Kid. Although for the record, Reid’s the pretty boy around here.” I smiled, enjoying being around these people. I began an in depth conversation with Spencer about philosophy as we ate, he certainly was as clever as Aaron had promised me, often topping me with complex arguments that I’d never even considered. Spencer was like no one I’d ever met before, he easily got lost in complex theories using his hands to wildly articulate a point, his eyes gleaming as knowledge spilled from his mouth. I’d all but forgotten we were in a room full of other people, our dinners were growing cold in front of us; all I could think about was Spencer and his theories that left me breathless. I only stopped staring at Spencer when laughter broke my revere, then I was back in Aaron’s kitchen with his team staring at us, all smiling and sharing side long glances.

“You two are so cute together. Spence you’ve found the ying to your yang.” Penelope (I think that was her name?) grinned at us, I cast a sidelong glance at Spencer whose face was even beating mine on the scarlet scale.

“We... we were talking about stuff... for class.” I wonder why he stuttered when he was telling them the truth; we weren’t clever enough to have a code so we could get off with each other over dinner (well I wasn’t and you’d need two of us to tango).The idea made me glow even brighter and I busied myself with eating my now cold food.

“You should give her a lift in, Reid, maybe go for coffee after?” Garcia asked hopefully, her eyes dancing.

“Garcia!” Aaron warned, giving me an apologetic look.

“How _are_ you getting in?” Spencer asked quietly as he twirled his fork thoughtfully.

“Bus.” I shrugged indifferently, I liked public transport and even if I didn’t I had no other choice. There was no chance I could afford a car.

“I could always drop by and pick you up?” He offered as he continued to stare at his plate.

“If you wouldn’t mind that would be great.”  

“I’ll pick you up at 7.” He kept his face down as he spoke, I guessed he knew that his workmates were grinning like lunatics and sharing nudges. Even with his hair falling into his face, obscuring my view, I could tell that he was blushing. I turned my body to face him, effectively blocking out the other agents so that it was just him and me.

“Thanks Spencer.” I smiled and gently put a hand on his shoulder. He stared at it for a minute, looking increasingly worried about the contact. I quickly retracted my hand; feeling increasingly worried that I’d scared off my lift. “Don’t like being touched much, huh?”

“I think it’s important that we all have our personal space.”He agreed.

“You’d be great at looking after a five year old! The only time he leaves my personal space is if he’s asleep.” I laughed and Spencer smiled at me. He had the hint of a dimple in one cheek that made him all the cuter. _Cuter,_ where did that come from? I mean I’d barely known him five minutes and here I was day dreaming about how soft his lips must be. Obviously only having Jack to hang around with, with the occasional appearance from Aaron, was beginning to affect me. Aaron handed us all pie for dessert, mine and Spencer’s were the only ones that had strawberries on top. I looked at Aaron curiously.

“I’m worried about your diet; seriously the only person that has more sugar in their coffee than you is Spencer. Jack’s attached to you now so I can’t let you die from heart disease and it seems the only way to stop that is by sneaking your five a day into dessert.” I grinned up at him, purposely eating around the fruit.

“I’m only 22; I'm not going to die from heart disease.” I said inbetween mouthfuls.

“My Dad had a heart attack at 47.” Aaron countered.

“I thought that was stress?” Spencer interjected.  

“Probably the stress of looking after you, you’re hardly an easy person to live with Aaron.” I felt the others look at me in shock. I guessed we had a different work relationship than they did because we lived together; after all the looks on their faces told me they were waiting for him to yell at me. Aaron had never yelled at me, sure his sense of humour was dry as crackling and he was a bit trigger happy when it came to unsubs but he loved his son and I kept Jack safe for him. “Are you guys scared of him?”  

“Not scared.” Morgan started. “I just appreciate life a bit more than you do.”

“I guess after seeing someone in their birthday suit they don’t scare you any more.” I shrugged before grinning at Aaron who rolled his eyes at me.

“I really should get that bathroom lock sorted.” He agreed. The others shared shocked looks at what I guess was the difference between their boss and mine.

“Who are you Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? I want Marley’s boss he sounds nicer.” Morgan laughed.

“You’re just jealous that I’ve seen him naked. You seem like a bit of a sex addict.” I joked, beginning to relax around the others. Morgan looked like he was about to retort when a little voice interrupted us. We all turned, shocked to look at the small, dark haired child standing in the doorway.

“Jack.” Aaron put his arms out to the young boy who instantly ran forwards and curled up on his Father’s lap.

“There’s a monster in my closet. Like in the movie.” He whimpered, damn I really shouldn’t have shown him Monster’s Inc this afternoon. I felt Aaron’s eyes on me but was too scared to look up; suddenly I understood what it was like to be faced with an angry agent Hotchner after something went wrong out on the field.

“What movie?” Came the angry, cold voice. I gulp and keep my eyes focused on my half eaten dessert.

“We watched a kid’s film earlier that had monsters in. It was a nice film; the monsters were good.” I tried desperately to keep my voice from breaking but after the ominous comments from earlier I felt frightened.

“Sounds like a great movie to show a five year old.” The same cold voice. “Come on Buddy lets get you back to bed.” He had a kinder tone for Jack as he tried to pick him up but the boy scrambled off his lap and onto mine.

“I want Marley to come too.” He snuggled against me. I stared down at the small child in his Buzz Light-year pyjamas, cuddling his favourite teddy- a lion called Rooster for some unknown reason. I risked a peak at Aaron whose face had softened somewhat.

“I’m sure poor Marley has had enough after putting you to bed earlier.”

“But she does it better than you. She sings and does all the voices on the stories.” He pouted slightly as he looked desperately at me. I hated those puppy dog eyes.  

“Fine but you’re going straight down; I’m not spending another ninety minutes on my knees. Don’t say anything Morgan.” I growled as I saw his face light up.

“Daddy, can you check my room first.” Aaron rolled his eyes at me but gave me a small smile as if to tell me that we were ok again before getting up to check for _monsters._ “Marley, sing to me.” He demanded as he leaned against my chest. I try to think of something nice but my heart is still racing after Aaron’s anger. It had waned as soon as it had come but that cold voice still cut into me.

“That was the first time wasn’t it?” Morgan asked looking at me kindly. “Don’t sweat it; the first time Hotch gets angry is the worse.”

“Yeah, he makes you feel like you’re the only who has ever let him down. You feel about _this_ tall.” Spencer held up his thumb and forefinger leaving a tiny gap between the two.

“Wow, we should start a club. The Aaron Hotchner abuse society.”

“I’m not that bad am I?” Aaron asked as he walked back into the room. He looked happier than before even though he must have heard every word we said about him.

“He doesn’t mind.” Prentiss said as if reading my mind. “He once asked us to name his worst qualities; he knows we think he’s a drill sergeant.”

 “I knew I shouldn’t have let her near you guys. You’ll give her ideas.”

“Hey, we weren’t the ones that showed you’re son _saw._ ”

“Morgan!” I hissed. “It was a cartoon! And at the end they started making children laugh instead of scaring them.”

“I did like Sully.” Jack agreed tiredly.

“See Aaron, he liked Sully.” Aaron laughed at me before leaning down to pick up his son.

“Just stick to Barney or something next time.” I nodded and helped him manoeuvre the child from my lap. Jack grabbed my arm and I stood up to follow Aaron, it seemed that I would never get away from my part in his hideous bedtime routine.

Aaron and I sat on either side of Jack’s bed as we try to get him to sleep. Aaron had nearly finished reading him a quick story while I tried to come up with a good song. My mind involuntarily wandered back downstairs to Spencer and his cute smile. I blushed, feeling grateful for the gentle light of the nightlight hiding the evidence. The perfect song enters my head as I thought of Spencer; oh God I really needed to get back into the adult world if the first man that I met who was around my age caused my brain to go into meltdown. Jack’s whining plea of one more song pierced my internal commentary.

“ It's a little bit funny  
this feeling inside  
I'm not one of those who can easily hide  
I don't have much money   
but boy if I did  
I'd buy a big house where  
we both could live  
So excuse me forgetting  
but these things I do  
see I've forgotten if   
they're green or they're blue  
anyway the thing is   
what i really mean  
yours are the sweetest eyes I’ve ever seen  
And you can tell everybody,  
this is your song  
It may be quite simple but  
now that is done  
I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind  
that I put down in words  
how wonderful life is now your in the world  
If I was a sculptor  
but then again no  
or girl who makes potions in a travelling show  
I know it's not much but  
it's the best i can do  
My gift is my song and  
this one's for you  
And you can tell everybody  
this is your song  
It may be quite simple but  
now that is done

I hope you don’t mind, I hope you don’t mind  
that I put down in words  
how wonderful life is now you’re in the world.”

“That’s a nice song.” Aaron whispered as we gently got off the bed and headed for the door. “You and Spencer seem to be getting along well.” Damn profiler!

“He’s a nice guy and any man who gives me a lift in has my vote. I need all the friends I can get around here.” I shrugged, I’d never been to a new town before, the friends I’d had during high school had been my friends since birth but here I had no one but an unstable boss and a five year old for company.

“Well my team have certainly taken a shine to you.” He mused as we made our way downstairs. I could hear Penelope teasing Spencer about giving me a lift. At least now I could add a group of highly intelligent FBI agents who could probably read my mind with a single look to my list of friends. I was going up in the world, although I would probably never have a secret again.

The group left a few hours later, all commenting on how nice it was too see me and how they hoped to see me again soon. Spencer was the last to leave, confirming that he would pick me up tomorrow. He paused for a second as if he was going to say something else but he seemed to think better of it and simply gave an odd wave before disappearing into the night.

The start of term had suddenly got a whole lot more interesting.  


	2. Nerves

**2\. Nerves**   


**Marley Prince POV**

Spencer knocked at the door at seven sharp. Aaron was busy preparing Jack’s breakfast while listing all the things I should have in my bag. I couldn’t help smiling as I imagined him doing this with Jack many years from now. Aaron had just asked me if I was sure I had enough paper for the third time when the door went. I had butterflies in my stomach as I practically danced to the door. Spencer was swaying from one foot to the other as I opened the door. He smiled at me before giving the same odd wave as he had the previous evening.

“Excited?” He asked as I let him in.

“A bit but Aaron’s made sure I’ve got enough paper. He’s such a control freak.” I said loudly enough for him to hear. He smiled as he walked into the hallway, closely trailed by his young son, with my bag in his hand.

“I was going to wish you luck but...” He trailed off as he handed me my bag. I hugged him, shocking everyone in the room apart from Jack, who, feeling neglected, grabbed both our legs. I just suddenly felt the need for some comfort from someone and as Aaron was the person I was closest too in the world at that minute in time he got that honour. After a second Aaron hugged me back tightly while murmuring something that sounded like ‘everything will be ok.’ I took one more second to enjoy the feeling of comfort before finally releasing him.

“Thanks Aaron. I’ll see you tonight. And you, little man.” I began, turning to address Jack. “I’ll see you after soccer practice.” I kissed his head before quickly leaving, in the past few minutes the nerves had taken over and it took a great deal of restraint not to run back into the safety of the Hotchner house with its familiar sights and smells. Spencer seemed to understand my fear as we began the drive to college; he began telling me all about his first days of college at Caltech and why he kept going back to school to study.

“Why did you wait till you were 22 to go to college?” Spencer asked absentmindedly as he parked outside a coffee shop.

“My family aren’t exactly rich. I’m the oldest of six children and its hard enough trying to keep us all clothed and fed let alone an expense like college. So I decided to earn some money beforehand to make it easier. Why do you think I work for Aaron?” It felt odd admitting all of this to a virtual stranger when I usually tried to keep my personal life under wraps, especially the bit where we had no money so I had to live with a virtual stranger to go to college.

“At least you got here. Most people born into poverty never break the cycle. Sorry that was pretty insensitive of me; I do that a lot.” He admitted sheepishly.

“Don’t sweat it, pretty boy, you can buy me coffee to make up for it if you want.” I laughed as we walked into a coffee shop; it must be popular with the FBI as Aaron had taken me in there several times over the past few weeks. Spencer smiled at me as he ordered two large coffee’s with plenty of sugar to take out; while we waited I couldn’t help but stare at him a bit more from the corners of my eyes. He was just too handsome in his geekish way; those eyes that saw so much inhumanity looked strangely peaceful and content at the moment, his completion was beautiful with perfect, clear skin that looked soft as a baby’s, his clothes were not the best but there was something about them that seemed to add to his charm rather than detract from it and that was before you even started on his unique personality. In short he was a God given creature. A God given creature that, for the next few hours at least, was all mine. It may seem odd how attached I’d gotten to Spencer but there had never been anyone before that I’d liked who’d ever given me the time of day. I-

“You’re staring at me.” Spencer stated simply as he picked up our coffees. I felt my face heat up as the genius pointed out my uncouthness.

“I’m not staring at you. I’m daydreaming and my eyes just wandered off of their own accord.” He laughed at my pathetic excuses but said no more about it. The embarrassment seemed to wash off quickly though as Spencer began telling me the origin of coffee which was not as boring as it may sound; certainly not when Spencer was so animated about the subject. Although it did make me feel more than a little nervous when he turned in his seat to look at me as he explained something he believed was difficult for others to grasp (Try impossible for the most part) while the car had to steer itself. After several near misses I decided that from now on I should probably offer to drive before the BAU lost their cleverest member to an untimely death. At least it kept my mind occupied and away from the worries of my new school. Frankly I was so grateful to arrive alive that I would have happily been slushied by some hideous jock all day every day.

“Are you excited?” He repeated his earlier question as we left the car and headed towards the main building where we’d have to register.

“Nervous, so nervous.” My voice came out an octave higher than normal and Spencer laughed before putting a hand on my arm. I felt tingles in my arm spreading like wildfire from the skin on skin contact but rather than the intended calming affect it simply heightened my nerves as I desperately tried not to kiss Spencer then and there. When I didn’t move he moved his hand slowly down my arm to my hand, entwining his long, slender fingers with mine. The fact that my heart didn’t give out then and there is a clear indication that my diet of sugar was working well for me and Aaron should lay off; not that I would ever use this as an example. It was too private. Despite the fact that hundreds of other new students were milling around us all I could think about was Spencer’s hand in mine. “I thought you were into protecting your personal space?”

“You look like you could do with some...” He paused for a minute, his face screwed up in concentration as he tried to conjure up the word he wanted. “TLC.” He finally stated proudly, reminding me of Jack when he learnt something new at school. I laughed and squeezed his hand before allowing him to lead me into the imposing building.

“Just remember, I went to Caltech when I was 12 so you should be fine. You’ve got a whole decade ahead of me.”

“Well now I just sound old!” I gave him a mock pout as we joined the back of the line to register. “I don’t know how you could do that; you must have been so scared.”

“I was.” He agreed quietly, his fingers absentmindedly tapping against my hand as we waited. He never seemed to stop fidgeting, I guess having so much in your head made it hard to keep still and relax. “But it was better then home and high school.”

“Everything’s better than high school.” I agreed. “With your brain I bet they ate you alive.” I whispered quietly, squeezing his hand. He nodded but said nothing and I didn’t want to push what was obviously a sore point for the young genius. Spencer let go of my hand so that we could sign the forms shoved at us by one of the new professors; I instantly felt bereft from the lack of touch. It was like a drug; once Spencer Reid touched you there was no way you could live without it again. I could see why his team were so protective of him.

“Right all you newbie’s, follow me into the auditorium and we can get acquainted!” Some peppy women called from somewhere in front of us. Spencer gave me a reassuring smile before we allowed the crowd to sweep us away.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ 

 “That wasn’t too bad was it?” Spencer laughed as we walked together through the grounds of the college on our way out the main entrance. We were going to grab a quick bit of lunch before he headed back to the office to finish his case files in double quick time while I went to the rest of my classes. As he was working he was taking fewer classes, not that it would affect him with his super brain. Spencer knew the area well, seeing as he had studied here for his last BA while he had been working for the FBI. I was glad I’d managed to find myself a friend who knew all the tricks of life around the campus, who knew Aaron Hotchner could come in so handy. Spencer had decided that the sandwich shop a few blocks away would be perfect for my first lunch as a college student. He seemed much more at ease than last night; he seemed to prefer the world of knowledge and education to the social situations of life.

“Would you like to hear a philosophy joke?” Spencer asked as he led me through unknown streets towards his eatery of choice.

“Go on then.” I smiled, feeling happier then I had in ages

“How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?”

“I don’t know how many does it take?”

“Two. One to change the light bulb, and one to observe how it symbolises an incandescent beacon of subjectivity in a netherworld of cosmic nothingness.” He started laughing at his own joke and I couldn’t help but laugh along, not because it was funny but because he was so excited as he told it. I got the feeling that I was one of the first people he had told the joke too and I didn’t want to be the one to shoot him down in flames. “See its funny, isn’t it? Morgan didn’t like it.”

“It’s... unusual.” I finished before smiling and dragging him into a bookshop that we were passing. “However, I think we should find you something more... universal. I’ll help you make Morgan laugh if it’s the last thing to do.”

“Oh I do make him laugh, just not with my jokes.” He shrugged before eyeing up a shelf of scientific books on the other side of the shop.

“Go on.” I laughed before giving him a shove in the direction, not that he needed much persuading. I turned in the opposite direction to head towards the humour section where I was sure I could find Spencer a manageable joke book.

I met Spencer at the till where he was buying two big looking books. He turned and smiled at me before putting his hand out for the book I was holding.

“No way, I’m taking all the credit for your new career as a stand up comedian!” I joked, nudging him playfully. He smiled back before handing me one of the books he had bought. I looked at him questioningly before looking at the title; it was on the reading list for our course.

“You didn’t have to Spence, all I have to do is give Aaron the puppy dog expression and he’d give me some extra money for books if I need it.”   

“Hotch falls for the puppy dog eyes?! I don’t believe it!” Spence laughed as we left the shop with our purchases.

“Well it works for me. I think it’s because he feels a bit guilty that he’s always away travelling or home late. Not that I mind, he told me what to expect when I took the job.” I shrug.

“You sure it’s not because he likes you?” Spencer offered but I just laughed. “He does. I know he doesn’t really show it but he does care about the people he works with.”

“I know.” I agreed quietly.

/\/\/\/\/\/\

Jack was busy painting a picture for his Dad while I read through the book Spencer had given me. It was one of those nice, quiet afternoons in the Hotchner household that I had grown to love. For all Jack had gone through in his short life he was a good, happy child who you could begrudge nothing which was probably why he was spoilt by everyone he met. I looked over at the small child’s painting to see what masterpiece he was creating. It looked like a dog that was in the process of becoming a pretty turquoise colour; it figured, after all since I’d got here a day hadn’t gone by when Jack had not begged his father for a puppy. I was pretty sure he was getting close to his goal.

“Do you like it?” He asked as he saw me looking. I nodded as he jumped up; leaving the picture half complete and came to sit on my lap. “You can have it when it’s done.”

“I thought it was for daddy?”

“I know but he has lots and you haven’t got any.” I kissed the top of his head, momentarily speechless by the caring actions of the young boy. “Can we make Daddy cookies?”

“Yeah, I’m sure we can.” He grinned up at me, bopping around on my lap in his excitement. My phone went off just as we were about to leave the chair to begin our baking. I looked at the caller ID; Spencer.

“Hey, you ok?” I ask, my face lighting up much like Jack’s had when I said we could make cookies.

“Yeah. I just thought I’d try out my new career on you.” He gave a nervous little laugh. “So do you want to hear a joke?”  


	3. Dreams

**3\. Dreams**

**Spencer Reid POV (thought I might see if I can write some of this from Spencer’s POV, a little bit of a gamble but I thought I’d chance it :) )**

_Marley lay on my bed; her skin almost matching the ivory colour of the duvet. She was wearing the same clothes as the first time I saw her: Jeans and a tight, white t-shirt that clung to her curves. Her dark, wavy hair fell around her head, like a dark halo. Marley’s beautiful brown eyes, so dark they almost merged with the black of her pupil, were full of a hazy lust that I had never seen before. Moving forwards I lay across her, feeling her body the way Morgan must have that first night. I leaned forwards to gently kiss those soft lips that moulded beneath mine, as the kiss intensified Marley’s hands moved beneath my shirt to run along my chest. Desire burned within me as I moved to pull her top off her to reveal her beautiful body._

_“Oh God Marley.”  I whimpered as I pulled her body closer._

_“Spencer.” She moaned, my name had never sounded as good as when she said it. “Reid.” Hang on, she never called me Reid._

“REID!” I came to with Morgan standing over me, the biggest smirk imaginable on his face. “Case files boring you so you decided to make out with Marley in your mind?”

“No! I...um... I...” I looked around desperately for help but the others were all smirking at each other. “Marley was... she... needed help, she was...”

“Reid you are an awful liar! I doubt if Marley needed help you moaning out her name would get anyone anywhere!” Morgan looked like he was going to continue but Hotch sent him a withering look before commenting that we should go back to the case files. I tried to send him a thank you smile but he avoided all eye contact with me, in fact it was not until we were an hour away from our destination that Aaron so much as gave any kind of indication that I existed. All the while I’d been worried that Hotch would be furious with me for my inappropriate actions.

“She talks about you constantly.” Aaron said as he sat down, looking around as if to check that no one was within earshot.

“What?” I asked, for a moment confused about what he meant.

“Marley, she likes you.”

“We’re... friends, I guess. I mean, we go to school together and... but the dream was really to do with...work.” I finished feebly, my face probably matching the crimson of Emily’s shirt.

“Reid, I thought we’d already established you are a bad liar.” He gave me a rare smile. “Maybe you should ask her out?”

“Hotch are you honestly trying to set me up?” I ask, shocked by the sudden change in my boss.

“I care about you, Reid and I care about Marley and the two of you seem to care about each other. All I’m saying is you two would be good together.” He stood up and made to leave before turning back. “Oh, and if you end up sharing a room with Morgan I’d think about something boring, like the periodic table, before you go to bed.”

“The periodic table is actually very interesting; the entire universe is based on...” I began but Hotch was already walking away up the plane. I stared down at my phone, Marley’s number staring up at from my contacts as I wondered if I would ever be brave enough to ask her out.   

**Marley Prince POV**

 “Marley.” A little voice squeaked from beside me, as I came to I wondered vaguely how long he had been stood there. Reluctantly I opened one eye and fumbled for the night switch; Jack was stood there in his favourite pyjamas cradling Rooster against his chest. He looked like he’s been crying and I felt awful for not noticing earlier. 

“What’s wrong Buddy?” I whispered tiredly.

“I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you?” I nodded before pulling back the covers so he could climb in beside me. Jack snuggled as close against me as was humanly possible before wrapping his arms around me.

“What happened in your bad dream?” I whispered as I stroked his hair and tried to give him any comfort I could.

“The bad man came after Mommy.” It took all my strength not to cry along with him at all he’d been through. I whispered what I hoped were comforting words; promising that it was only a dream although we both knew that it had happened and his Mom was never coming back. “Can we call Daddy?” He whimpered after a while. The BAU had been away for four days on a case in Alaska but Aaron called Jack every night to check on him. Spencer had called me several times as well, mostly to ask about school stuff but the conversations often went off on random tangents although I got the feeling that he never got to the point that he actually wanted to make. I looked at the clock to try and work out the time difference, it was three here so it must be eleven in Alaska, that wasn’t too late.

“Sure we can.” I leaned over to grab my cell, the glare of the screen nearly blinding me in the half light of the night light. After a second to get used to it I began scrolling through my contacts to find Aaron. He picked up after the second ring, his voice sounding urgent and panicky, he had obviously worked out what time it was here and realised I would only ring in an emergency.

“Marley? Marley is Jack ok?”

“He’s fine; he just had a bad dream and wanted his Dad.” Aaron paused for a minute and I heard him exhale a shaky breath, obviously still trying to get over the moment of blind panic when he believed something awful had happened to the most important person in his world. “Aaron?”

“Yeah, I’m here, put him on.” I pressed the phone to Jack’s ear who had been watching me nervously, desperate to here from his Dad. Jack talked tiredly to his Dad for a little while, explaining his dream while I gently stroked his hair. After a little while, however tiredness got the better of him and he just lay there listening to Aaron on the end of the line. When I was sure he was asleep I took the phone back to check that Aaron was ok after hearing about his son’s dream.

“Aaron, you ok?” I whispered, hoping desperately not to wake Jack again.

“I know this is a lot to ask but can he sleep with you tonight?”

“Aaron you honestly think I’d chuck him out after that? Give me some credit.” I felt slightly stung that he even needed to ask that of me but tried not to take it too personally as he was worried for his son.

“I know, I’m sorry.” I could hear him moving around on his end and someone yelling out. I caught the words ‘plane’, ‘dream’ and ‘Spencer’ but had no idea what was going on.

“Everything ok?”

“Yes, Morgan’s just being Morgan. Do you want to talk to Spencer?” I smiled, feeling the heat burning my cheeks and made a small noise of ascent. There was a few seconds of static as the phone changed hands before the familiar comfort that came with Spencer’s voice filled me, dimming the anguish I’d felt earlier.

“Hey. How’s the case going?” I whispered tiredly, settling back against the pillow. The little question was enough to keep him going for ages, his passion for his job practically palpable in the air. We talked for a little bit, the conversations getting weirder and weirder the more tired I got until I took Jack’s idea and just lay there listening to Spencer’s monologue. His velvety voice soothing me into a blissful unconsciousness.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I woke up early with Jack still curled up against me, the phone lying by my head on the pillow. I’d have to hope that all the talk about radiation and cancer was mistaken. I picked up the phone and was about to dial Spencer’s number before realising that it was around four in the morning there and it was probably not the best idea to wake up the young genius when he was barely getting any sleep as it was. Rain was battering the window across from the bed causing Jack to stir beside me but he didn’t wake up. I lay there for a while just staring around my room; it was cream like most of Aaron’s house but I had tried my best to make it my own. There was an orange and pink stripy rug on the floor by my bed which was covered in a brightly coloured patterned comforter, there was a book shelf full to bursting with books of all descriptions beside my bedside table and across from that a desk with my second hand laptop and Spencer’s book on it. My favourite part of my room was the wooden corkboard above my bed which was filled with special items: pictures of my family, friends and even my Hotchner boys, Jack’s picture and my class schedule to name but a few. Whenever I couldn’t sleep or felt down I would just lie there and looked at all the important things I had in my life.

“What’s for breakfast?” Jack mumbled beside me.

“Good morning to you too!” I laughed as I helped him untangle his legs from the covers. “I think we could have something special; maybe even... pancakes!” He let out a small squeak of excitement before jumping out of bed and racing down the stairs before I could even pull myself out of my warm cocoon.

The day passed with relative ease, it rained all day so we played a multitude of games inside. It was well passed Jack’s bedtime and we were playing a rather strange version of hide and seek that Jack Hotchner had made up and involved us creating a huge tent with every duvet in the house around the dining room table, when the door opened.

“Daddy!” Jack screamed as he appeared from behind the sofa and threw himself towards the door.

“Carefully buddy.” Aaron smiled down at his son as gave the boy a one armed hug to keep him away from the person on his right who was still only half in the house. Aaron helped the person in before closing the door. It took my mind a second to get my head around what I was seeing but after a second the horror dawned on me; Aaron holding up Spencer who was leaning heavily against the older profiler, his leg in a bandage and his face covered in bruises.

“What happened?!” I yelped as I ran towards the two of them.

“It’s not as bad as it looks, can we sit down before I tell you. My leg hurts.” He admitted looking slightly sheepish. Without another word Hotch and I helped him over to the couch, all the while Jack looked on worriedly. Spencer let out a small groan as he lay back against the cushions, the small sound was enough to tip my frayed emotions over the edge and tears began to stream silently down my face. Spencer leaned over and gently wiped the glistening drops from my face with his thumb.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered.

“Its ok, I’ve been through much worse before.”

“I don’t think that’s helping, Reid.” Aaron whispered as I let out a little sob, I couldn’t help it, seeing him like that cut me up inside. Jack who had been watching from the sidelines moved forwards and sat beside me to give me a cuddle.

“Don’t cry Marley.” He whispered as he snuggled against me.

“Jack why don’t you pack up all your toys while we have a grown up chat. I’ll conveniently look over the fact that you’re still up.” Jack nodded and gave me a final squeeze before getting off a heading into the dining room to start the massive tidy up job. “We were chasing the unsub through the woods.” Aaron began as soon as Jack was out of earshot. “We were split up and when we found him he had already found Reid.”

“He jumped me from behind.” Spencer continued the story, all the while his head stayed down so his hair obscured our view of his face. “I... I tried to run but I trip, did that to my ankle.” He pointed down to his bandaged foot. “Don’t worry its only sprained. And then...then he proceeded to beat the crap out of me until Morgan showed up.” He laughed mirthlessly; I leaned across and gently pushed the hair behind his ear so I could see his face.

“Spence, it could have happened to anyone.” He said nothing, instead yawning and feigning tiredness.

“He could have concussion so they want us to wake him up every two hours to check.” Aaron stood up and grabbed his keys off the coffee table. “I’ll go pick up some of your stuff, Spencer.” He tenderly put a hand on Spence’s shoulder in a Fatherly gesture before taking Spence’s keys from his jacket and going to speak to Jack, warning him that he had to be tucked up in bed by the time he got back.

After Aaron left I helped Spencer up the stairs to the guest bedroom, where he sat down heavily on the bed. I wanted to comfort him in some way but nothing that came into my head sounded remotely helpful. Spencer looked so broken that all I wanted to do was hug him but I knew that probably wasn’t the best idea. Instead I just sat next to him, hoping my mere presence would comfort him. Aaron eventually returned with a small bag of Spencer’s things. He said nothing but once again laid a comforting hand on Spencer’s arm before leaving to find Jack. I helped Spencer undress despite his mumbled protests. I couldn’t help gasping as I stared at his uncovered chest, the bruises marring the otherwise perfection that was Spencer’s body; they were huge, ugly wounds that had needed stitches in some cases while others were covered in gauze. I gently ran my fingers across each one, memorising the patterns. Even without an eidetic memory I would remember Spencer’s ravaged body for the rest of my life. He squirmed uncomfortably and I looked up to see his eyes filling with tears.

“It wouldn’t have happened if I was like Hotch or Morgan.” He whispered as he quickly wiped away his tears. “I’m weak.”

“You are many things Spencer Reid; a doctor three times over, the cleverest person I’ve ever met and the nicest but no one ever has the right to call you weak. Especially not you. You’re strong Spence, now stop this silliness or I’m going to make tonight even worse then it will be. My questioning can be brutal my friend.”

“I’m sure it will be.” He agreed quietly, he obviously hadn’t believed a word I’d told him but I knew that one day I’d make him see it. It would be my life’s work.

“Come on then, lets see what sexy pyjamas Hotch bought you.”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\           

The rest of the evening passed relatively quietly. After I helped Spencer dress I sat on the bed watching one of the Star Trek DVD’s Hotch had found in his apartment, then I sat and read him one of the Margery Kemp books that Hotch had also bought over. When it was time for bed Hotch and I agreed a rota for the evening’s wake up calls. Hotch, ever the gentleman, agreed to go first.

At four in the morning my alarm made the hideously shrill beeping noise that I had come to hate over the past few weeks. I staggered out of bed and across the hall to Spencer’s room. I sighed, he looked so peaceful even with the bruises that scarred his face and I hated having to wake him up. He groaned but opened one eye to look at me.

“I’m ready for the inquisition.”

“What’s your name?”

“Spencer Reid and Hotch has already done that one. I thought they were going to be brutal?”

“I was going to be nice but I’ll play it brutal if that’s what you want. Who is the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen.”

“Easy, you.”   

 

              


	4. Morning

**4\. Morning**

**Spencer Reid POV**

I felt stiff when I woke up, my back aching from the size nines that had stamped repeatedly on me just yesterday. All thoughts of the battering I had received were instantly swept from my mind as I stared at who was lying next to me. _Marley._ She was still asleep with her hair falling across her face. I smiled as I remembered how she’d ended up sleeping next to me. It was near the end of her brutal questioning, where I’d revealed she was the prettiest girl I’d met; even now I wasn’t sure why I told her that. Even if it was the truth. She was ten times more beautiful then Lila, there was something about her smile that made everything seem better. After twenty minutes of interrogation that would have made Hotch proud she promised me just one more question.

“How do you feel right now? Truthfully.” She added sternly. I could have lied and told her I felt fine but for once I didn’t want to placate those around me, it seemed odd that the one person I cared about most in the world and wanted to protect was the one person I felt I could tell the most hideous things to.

“Scared.” I whispered. “Ashamed. Lonely.” Without saying another word she got up and left. I sat staring at the door in shock, I’d felt like I could show her everything but when I had she’d got up and walked away. I shouldn’t have been shocked but for some reason I thought she was different to all the others.

And then she walked right back in.

“I thought I better take Aaron’s alarm, there’s no point waking him up if I’m already in here.” She explained, holding up what I guessed was Hotch’s alarm clock.

“If you’re what?”

“I’m staying with you tonight; you’re never going to feel lonely again while I’m around.” I was about to argue but at that moment Marley pulled back the covers and snuggled in beside me, absentmindedly throwing an arm around me and moving in as close as she could. The sudden invasion into my personal space threw every argument from my mind. Instead all I could do was look at her, her head was lying beside my shoulder so her breath tickled the hairs on my neck, her eyes were open and those hypnotic brown eyes were staring at me. I smiled down at her, wishing I was braver than I was and could just ask her out. Our relationship confused me; we were meant to be friends but even on the odd occasions when I had been forced to share a bed with Morgan we had slept as far apart as the bed would allow, Morgan moaning the whole time that I talked in my sleep but with Marley she came as close as possible, surely only lovers were meant to be so close? I decided once more that argument was futile (it always seemed to be with Marley, she seemed to get more like Hotch the longer they lived together; in a few years she’d be able to run the BAU) so I decided to make the most of my company and see if her presence made it easier to get some sleep. I leaned over to turn off the lamp but she moved, half lying on me as she grabbed my hand. I looked at her questioningly, all the while trying not to think about the body lying on top of me. Knowing if I let my mind linger for a single moment on the feelings her body was creating in me I wouldn’t be able to control myself.

“Spence, I’m here because I want to comfort you and lying here in the darkness won’t help you. Now release the light switch or I’ll call Aaron in.” She threatened, smiling slightly to try and put me at ease. Her face was just inches from mine, I could feel her breath on my skin and wanted desperately to close the tiny gap between us. I was close, so close to everything I’d been dreaming about ever since that first evening. I could still remember the first time I saw her face poking around the doorway to hiss at us for being loud. Her beauty had been on par with Lila, even better, but then she’d flirted with Morgan and I’d known I’d have no chance against my best friend. I never usually minded when he’d gone after the most beautiful girls in the room but as she’d lounged against him jealously stabbed me. Then I’d talked to her and she’d captivated me, I’d never met anyone like her but I’d still thought she’d go for Morgan. Until she told me how she thought he was a bit of a player and much preferred quieter men. Since then, hell even since that first night when I’d believed she would go for Morgan, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. I nodded before moving my hand away from the light switch but instead of laying it back on the bed my hand seemed to move of its own volition, coming instead to rest on Marley’s supple waist. She cocked her head to the side as she stared at me curiously but a smile played on her lips as she leaned down towards me. I was pretty sure she whispered my name in the second before her lips met mine but my brain was spinning too much for any comprehension other than the feel of her lips on mine. At first they barely brushed against each other, the lightest of touches that sent shivers down my spine. My other hand seemed to decide that the other had the right idea and decided to stray to wrap itself in Marley’s silky hair. I kissed her back, allowing my tongue to dart out (my body seemed to have decided that when it came to Marley it could do whatever it wanted regardless of my minds decisions) to touch Marley’s lips.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that.” She whispered as she rested her forehead against mine when we eventually pulled apart. I smiled, glad that I had an eidetic memory to keep this memory safe forever. “I probably shouldn’t excite you.”

“No, excitements good, especially this kind of happy excitement. It releases endorphins which are proven to work as pain relief.”

“So in your opinion.” She paused and I could see she was choosing her words carefully. “It’s medically advisable for me to kiss you again. Do you agree, _Dr._ Reid?” I nodded before leaning up again to kiss those beautiful lips. The two of us moved to lie side by side on the bed; our arms snaked around one another as-

My revere was broken as Hotch burst into the room looking worried as he began apologising for not checking on me last night. The apologies died on his lips as he saw Marley lying next to me; the noise of Hotch’s entrance had woken her up and she was stretching out like a cat before sitting up and smiling sheepishly at Hotch. As if Hotch finding Marley in my bed wasn’t bad enough, he had bought a visitor. Morgan. He stared between us in shock before grinning at me. 

“Spencer felt a bit needy last night so I stayed with him.” She mumbled an explanation before handing the clock back to Hotch, her cheeks matching the luminous red glow of the digits on the clock. “I’ll got check on Jack and make us some breakfast. Would you like some, Derek?”

Morgan made a noise of ascent as Aaron gave me one of his rare smiles before making his excuses and leaving with Marley. He knew what had happened between Morgan and me the night before I was attacked and had obviously decided that he’d leave us alone to work it out. Ever since it had happened I’d wanted to talk to Morgan but things had gotten in the way: We’d had to leave quickly to track down Tom Dorman, when I was in the hospital everyone was crowded around me, it was the same story on the plane and Hotch had whisked me off as soon as we’d landed.

“I’m sorry.” We both said at the same time before anxiously smiling at each other. Morgan came and sat beside me on the bed.

“I overstepped the mark and I’m sorry.” Derek sighed. We were both thinking about that night; Morgan had been ribbing me about my dream throughout the entire case and I lost it with him.

“I shouldn’t have said you were a condescending, insolent dog who would never find someone as self absorbed as you and would die a lonely old man.” I repeated the hideous sentence I had yelled at him in anger. We’d all been stressed; even Garcia wasn’t her usual chirpy self, so when Morgan tried to lighten the mood as we’d sat in our hotel room with one of his jokes about Marley I’d lost it.

“That eidetic memory of yours is still working well I see.” He smiled before messing up my hair. “Its cool, Reid. Seeing you getting your butt kicked put things in perspective. Lets just move on and as a token of friendship I won’t mention your bed companion.”

“Thanks.” We sat in silence for a few a minutes enjoying each others company after our mini separation.

“Now, tell me to mind my own business but I would love to know what Marley was doing here?” He grinned at me.

“I thought you weren’t going to mention her?”

“Not to anyone else but if you want to talk about anything, _anything,_ Reid then I’m here for you.”

“She kissed me.” I whispered after a while, shocked into silence by Morgan’s kind sentiment, before telling him about the rest of the night. All the while Morgan sat in silence, listening quietly although I didn’t look at Morgan while I was talking I knew he would be grinning like an imbecile beside me.

“So what are you going to do?” Morgan asked eventually. I shrugged; if I was honest I had no idea what I was going to do. Had Marley just felt sorry for me or had she just done it to help me feel better. Maybe the two of us were getting ahead of ourselves when we asked what was going to happen next.

“Breakfast’s ready, do you want it up here?” Marley put her head around the door; she had pulled a baggy jumper on over her pyjamas and pulled her hair up in a scruffy ponytail but still looked as beautiful as ever.

“We’ll come down.” I smiled up at her as my eyes searched hers looking for any indication that she wanted a repeat of last night’s kiss. She nodded at my request before turning to Derek and asking if he wouldn’t mind helping Hotch in the kitchen. We both knew it was a ruse; Hotch had lived alone long enough to be able to make breakfast and if he did need help Morgan wasn’t exactly the person you’d ask for culinary advice. At least she wanted to talk about last night that was a good sign, wasn’t it?

Once Morgan had left Marley sat down gently in the space he had recently occupied. She looked nervous and refused to meet my eyes. She regretted kissing me last night; she wanted us to forget what had happened and go back to being friends, if that. So I decided to make it easier for her, it was my fault it had happened anyway, if I’d been strong enough to take on Dorman then Hotch wouldn’t have been forced to take me home and Marley wouldn’t have felt sorry enough for me that she’d kiss me. God, I must have looked so pathetic. 

“Let’s just forget about last night.” I said before she’d even finished her ‘about last night.’ While I couldn’t look directly into those hypnotic brown eyes without wanting to throw myself at her feet and beg, _beg_ ,for her to kiss me again, I could, however sneak a look at her from out of the corners of my eyes and was shocked as I saw her face fall. She looked like she was about to cry.

“Is that what you want?” Her whisper was barely audible.

“Is that what you want?” I repeated the question dumbly back to her.

“I’ll lay all my cards on the table then.” She sighed and I sneaked a peek at her from under my lashes; she was staring resolutely at the floor. “I...I... I’ve wanted to do that for a while.” She laughed nervously before ploughing on. “And I would really like to do it again... but if you don’t then that’s cool too, I’d take being your friend over nothing Spence.”

Shocked into silence by her admission of love I let my body take over (It seemed to cope better being around Marley then my mind did) and gently turned her face round to make her look in my eyes before kissing her. It was just as good as last night, better because I knew she really meant it. 

“You’re one of a kind, Spence.” She whispered against my lips before leaning back in to kiss me again.

“That’s gross.” We both pulled apart in shock to see Jack Hotchner, clad in a slightly too big robe, wearing Hotch’s unimpressed scowl like a pro. He jumped onto the bed and hugged Marley tightly; leaving me in no doubt that when it came to Marley’s heart I would have more competition than the Morgan’s of this world to contend with.            


	5. Embrace

**5\. Embrace**

**Marley Prince POV**

“I can stay if you want me too.” I was sat on Spencer’s couch, leaning back into Spencer’s embrace, his arms, surprising strong for someone so lanky were holding me against him. I’d never felt as safe as I did in that moment. One of Spencer’s hands moved from my waist to run through my hair; it was a gesture that he often performed whenever we were close. It was a Friday evening, nearly a week had passed since Aaron had bought an injured Spencer home, nearly a week since we’d become a couple. Spencer had spent the week staying with us; the reasoning had been that his leg was too injured for him to drive in so it was easier for Hotch to give him a lift but we all knew that really Spencer didn’t want to be alone. Tonight however, he had decided that he should return home.

“I’m fine; I need to stay on my own at some point. I stayed on my own when...” Spencer stopped dead which instantly pricked my interest, usually Spencer only stopped under duress.

“Spence?” I turned my head and was instantly worried by the haunted look he was wearing. All the blood seemed to have drained from his face and he was staring at something I couldn’t see. I turned in his slackened embrace so that I was facing him before gently touching his cheek, brining his face around so that he was forced to look at me. “What happened, Spence?”

“Tobias Hankel.” He whispered. “We were in Georgia on this case and I went with JJ to talk to with a potential witness. It turned out to be the Unsub, we got separated and he caught me. He... he tortured me for two days; beat me, made me chose who was going to die, made me watch them die, he...he....he  drugged me and then made me dig my own grave.” He let out a little sob and all I could do was press my forehead against his and stroke his cheek gently. “I managed to get a message to Hotch and the team were coming to get me but... but he was coming at me and I... I...I killed him.”

“Spence.” I whispered, trying to think of something that would comfort him. “Spence... it’s ok, I’m here. When did it happen?”

“A few years ago.” I knew that Spencer could probably tell me to the minute how long it had been since that bastard had held him captive but I didn’t dare push him any more; I wanted him to feel comfortable telling me these things. So instead of asking him any more questions I just sat there, hoping my presence would help in some small way. Spencer sighed before moving his forehead away from mine so he could kiss me; it was light, fleeting but it was enough to tell me that he was ok.

“Will you stay? Just for one night?” I nodded gently before wrapping my arms around his neck. A second later I felt his grip tighten around me in response with one of his hands once again wrapping itself in my hair, as if anchoring himself to the present. We lay like that for a while; the only sound our breathing and an occasional sniffle from Spencer.

“What time is it?” I whispered, almost afraid to break the silence. Spencer unwrapped his hand from my hair before leaning backwards to get the clock. “Eight fifteen.”

“I should call Jack, say goodnight and tell him I’ll see him in the morning.” I wriggled in Spencer’s embrace so I could pull my phone from my jean pocket before hitting speed dial for the Hotchner residence. Aaron picked up after the third ring with the familiar ‘Hotchner’ that made me feel instantly at home. The Hotchner’s had given me a family when my own was slowly falling apart; they had given me an escape to a better world, the first person in my family to go to college, _ever._ I was going to make something of myself and Aaron was helping me do it.

“Hey, it’s me.”

“Look after Reid and I’ll see you in the morning.”

“I hate living with a profiler.” I sighed. “Its like living with a psychic, you know everything I’m going to do before I even know.”

“You’re just very easy to profile.” Aaron paused, taking a deep breath on the other end of the line. “Keep an eye on him, Marley.”

“You know I will.” I promised Aaron while worry gnawed at me, something in his voice told me he was holding something back from me. Something big. Something important. Something that affected Spencer. “Jack’s here if you want to say goodnight.”

“You’re the best Aaron.” I heard him chuckle before white passing the phone to his son.

“Marley!”

“Hey buddy.” I smiled as Jack’s enthusiastic voice crackled over the connection. “You going to be a good boy for your Dad tonight?”

“I’m always a good boy.” I laughed as I visualised his adorable pout. “I wish you were here, Daddy doesn’t do bedtime like you do.”

“I’ll be back tomorrow; I’m looking after Spencer tonight while you look after Daddy.” He made an irritable noise but no other comment. “How about tomorrow after your soccer game we go to the park; I’ll buy you ice cream.”

“Maybe.” Damn, the boy knew how to play me.

“We can even play your special game of hide and seek.” I dangled a nice, juicy carrot in front of him.

“Just us?”

“Well I think Daddy will want to come too, maybe even Dave and Spencer. It depends what’s happening.” There was a pregnant pause on the other end, and I could sense what I’d said was a deal breaker. “But I’m sure we can go to the park just us for a little bit.”

“Ok, I love you Marley.”

“Love you too, buddy.” I told him goodbye before ringing off. I felt bad that I hadn’t spent much time with him this week but I’d been worried about Spencer and I’d had loads of work to do for school. I had been planning on spending the weekend working on a paper but little Jack needed a little one on one time and he’d had a place in my heart long before Spencer came along; I couldn’t abandon him now. I sighed as I laid out my plan to make it up to Jack tomorrow, before turning to Spencer who was staring at the television which was playing an old episode of Star Trek although I could tell he wasn’t really focused on it.

“Everything ok?”

“Yeah, I think Jack’s just feeling a little neglected right now but after his soccer game tomorrow I’ll do something with him. You should come to the game with us.”

“No, I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He sighed before ploughing on. “I don’t think Jack likes me.”

“Of course he does!” I said with more conviction then I felt, Jack _had_ been acting a little bit stand offish with him when he’d been staying with us but that was just because he didn’t know him that well. I hoped. “You two just need to spend some time together.” I really hoped I was right, I didn’t know what I’d do if the two most important men in my life didn’t get along.

“Ok, I’ll come to the game but after that I’ll leave you two to it.”

“Thank you.” I leaned forwards and placed a delicate kiss to his temple before standing up and heading to the small kitchenette in the corner of the living room. Spencer’s apartment was small with an open plan living and kitchen area, a small hallway that led off to his room and the bathroom. His apartment was just what you expected of the young genius; comfortable but minimal furniture to make room for the mountains of books that kept him entertained. I was about to ask him what he wanted for dinner when I felt his presence behind me, he was leaning on a cane that he had kept from his last Unsub related injury.

“So you’ve been kidnapped and shot in the leg. Any other work related injuries I should know about?”

“I had anthrax poisoning.” I stared into his face looking for any hints that he was joking. He wasn’t.

“By the sound of things I’d better get myself used to hospital food if I’m going to be your girlfriend.” Despite the dark topic of conversation he smiled at me. I stared curiously into his eyes, hoping my new boyfriend wasn’t turning into a masochist. That really would top off my list of failed relationships.

“I like the word.” He admittedly sheepishly in response to my curious stares. I stared back in bemusement, still not getting what he was on about. “Girlfriend, it’s nice.” He looked down at the floor, waiting for my response. I laughed before kissing him again. If I was honest I loved the word and all it stood for as well.

“Well then, _boyfriend_ I better make you something to eat.”

“That may be difficult seeing as I have nothing in the cupboards.” I rolled my eyes, sure he was exaggerating but sadly all I could find in his fridge was a pint of out of date milk and some questionable looking cheese. His cupboards were in a similar state although he did have dozens of tins of baked beans in one.

“Fetish?” I asked cheekily.

“No, when I get in late beans on toast is always an easy meal.” He shrugged as he stood swaying the way he did when he was nervous. I smiled before grabbing his keys and my bag, if my memory served me correctly there was a convenience store about a block from his apartment.

“Do you want cheese on it?” I asked as I headed for the door.

“Marley...”

“No, none of that ‘you don’t need to do this’, it’s what I’m here for. Now while I’m gone why you don’t make yourself useful and go pick out your favourite tin of beans.” He raised an eyebrow but said nothing as I grabbed my coat and let the door shut behind me. Spencer’s apartment was in a nice block with grey walls and wooden floorboards; there was a lift down to the ground floor but I took the stairs down. I’d always hated lifts ever since I was little, I think it stemmed from the grotty one we’d had in our block back home which used to judder all the way to our top floor apartment. The ‘pent house’ as my Father used to call it, more like a crack house if I was being honest. I was lucky that Spencer’s apartment was only on the second floor as by the time I reached the bottom I was gasping for breath, maybe Aaron was right and I did need to eat less sugar. The air was crisp and a light breeze ruffled my hair as I hurried down the street in the direction I hoped the store was. While it was late there was a full moon giving me enough light to see by, most people would have been scared walking around a city at night but with the cool wind blowing around my I felt oddly at peace.

Despite the late hour there were several people milling around inside the shop, mostly buying alcohol and cigarettes for their pending night out. I headed to the slightly more boring aisle of bread and condiments. I decided to grab some stuff for breakfast as well; why bring on the inevitable heart attack that came with early morning exercise? The cashier was a moody looking teenager who reminded me of my seventeen year old brother, Jesse. He was the moodiest person I’d ever met, although his persona did make it a lot easier to tell him apart from his twin brother Nick who was the sweetest teenager there had ever been. While being two polar opposites they were incredibly close, at least at home. School however was a different matter, apparently being seen with Nick would hurt Jesse’s ‘street cred.’ The two older boys were seen as Gods by my younger brother’s- Vincent Junior (VJ for short) who was fourteen and Jamie who was two years his junior- trailed behind Jesse and his gang like a little puppies, while my nine year old baby brother Milo was content to sit and watch Nick do his homework all evening. Thinking about them caused a small stab of homesickness as I realised I hadn’t even called my Dad in days. What kind of a daughter thought more of their boss then their own family? I had been the only women in the house since my Mother had left us seven years previously because ‘it was all too much’; yeah it was fine for a fifteen year old to bring up five children under ten while my Dad worked thirteen hour shifts to keep us clothed. The truth was it hadn’t just been the lack of funds that had kept me from going to college earlier but that I’d felt unable to leave them alone, in the end I’d forced myself to break away before I started resenting them for holding me back. I sent money home, to help out although I knew my Dad hated it and I’d promised myself that I would go home for Christmas but it wasn’t the same as being there for them. I’d phone home tomorrow evening to check in on them, I promised myself as I loaded the groceries into a bag and headed back out into the night.

Spencer had put the hob on and was busy putting beans into a saucepan. He turned and smiled at me before taking the bag from my hand and putting it on the side. He made appreciative noises as he found his favourite beverage of choice, the all important coffee, in the bottom of the bag. I couldn’t help laughing at how easy it was to buy off a federal agent, if I ever decided to take up a life of crime I knew what I had to do to get away with it. We chatted about lighter topics as we prepared the meal side by side; I was still thinking about my family and began retailing stories of my childhood which Spencer was content to listen to, even throwing in some of his own childhood stories. His closeness to his Mom was evident in the anecdotes he told me; he also revealed, with his adorable embarrassed smile on his face, that he’d told her about me before adding that he hoped it was ok. All I could give him as an answer was a nod as emotion choked my throat, his mother was the most important person in his life and the fact he had told her about me made my heart swell a little bit.

 It was after ten when we eventually sat down at Spencer’s small table to eat. I had to admit that his easy dinner  was particularly tasty although that may have been because by the time we ate it I was so hungry my stomach thought my throat had been cut. Spencer seemed to enjoy it too; he didn’t talk once through the meal which worried me slightly.

“You’re staring at me again.” He pointed out with a grin on his face, both of us thinking back to our first day of school.

“You’re too handsome for your own good.” He laughed, his face turning red, half from embarrassment and half from choking on his drink. “You are.”

“If you say so.” He whispered in disbelief. I sighed realising that, for tonight at least, I was fighting a loosing battle although whatever it took I would prove to him he was beautiful, inside and out. What I could do for him right now was fill him full of chocolate cake and coffee; thankfully Aaron wasn’t here to try and foist fruit on us. Spencer smiled as I ruffled his hair before sitting on his lap with the bowls on dessert. Spencer wrapped one arm around me before using the other to spoon cake in his mouth, no easy feat but he managed to get it all in his mouth.

“I like your store, they stock up on the good cake. The one by Aaron only has cheap rubbish.” I pulled a face and shuddered even though I’d eaten it several times. He laughed and hugged me tightly before gulping his coffee down even though it must still be scalding.

“Mmm.” He moaned appreciatively. “You make good coffee. Tastes like four and a half tablespoons of sugar, two of milk and three of coffee.”

“You are so strange. Brilliantly strange.” I laughed as he guessed my exact quantities for the perfect cup of coffee. He laughed before leaning up and kissing me gently.

“Brilliantly strange, that’s a new one.” He chuckled quietly before leaning up to kiss me again.  

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\     

It was almost midnight when we finally headed to bed; Spencer lent me a black FBI T-shirt to sleep in, despite the fact that I didn’t mind sleeping in the same bed as him I wasn’t quite ready for him to see me naked. Spencer seemed to feel the same as he pulled on a pair of sweats and another FBI T-shirt although his was grey. I sat on the edge of Spencer’s bed, brushing my thick, black hair and gazing around his room; it was bright, even in the semi-darkness of the lamp the bright white walls, bedspreads and matching shades kept the place feeling light. Spencer limped back in from the bathroom across the hall rubbing at his eyes tiredly before pulling back the covers and tucking down; he looked so content as his face lost the haunted look of earlier. I lay the brush down beside the lamp before curling up beside Spencer who instantly wrapped his arms around me.

“Sweet dreams.” I mumbled as I lay my head on his chest, I thought he mumbled a reply but couldn’t be sure as drowsiness dimmed all my senses. The last thing I remembered was feeling incredibly safe with Spencer’s warm body pressed flush against my own before darkness obliterated everything.                     


	6. Assistant, Assistant Coach

**6\. Assistant, assistant coach.**

**Marley Prince POV**

How could such a small machine make such a loud noise? The high pitched wailing seemed to drill into the depths of my skull but even that torture couldn’t bring me to open my eyes, it was much too early. My bed companion moved from beside me causing a cool chill to fill the space he had so recently occupied and I instantly felt bereft. The shrill machine ceased its petulant screeching as Spencer leaned over to switch it off. I waited patiently for him to return but to my disappointment he began getting out of the bed, I mewed in protest before reluctantly opening one eye so I could see to grab his arm and drag him back to bed. He didn’t put up much in the way of a fight as he allowed me to pull him back down beside me.

“Marley, we need to get ready for the match.” He reminded me. I sighed as I looked into those beautiful hazel eyes; all I wanted to do was lie in bed with Spencer. One day, when Jack was older I would tell him this story so he realised just how much I loved him; I was giving up a Saturday morning lie in with Spencer Reid to go watch him play soccer- The Ultimate Sacrifice.

“Fine but I want first go in the shower.”

“I’ll make you breakfast for when you come out.” He promised before leaning across to kiss me gently, I reached out and wrapped my hands in his silky curls to keep him close to me while his hands wrapped around my waist. When my need for oxygen overtook my need for Spencer in my priorities list I reluctantly pulled away from him but Spencer turned his attention to my neck and placed a gentle kiss in the hollow of my throat. I let out a little moan as desire coursed through my body; would it really be that bad to miss Jack’s game? _Yes, yes it would be._ I sighed as my conscious got the better of me.

“I really hate my job.”

“No you don’t. You love Jack more then anything, and I think Hotch has a special place in your heart.” Spencer chuckled as he gave me a final peck on the cheek before getting out of bed. I smiled, everything he’d said was true, even the part about Aaron having a special place in my heart. I rolled out of bed and pottered towards the bathroom before groaning out loud as I realised I had no clean clothes to change into, I really hated wearing the same clothes twice.

“What’s wrong?” Spencer enquired as he pulled a couple of fluffy white towels out of a laundry cupboard beside the bathroom door.

“I have no clothes.” I pouted a little bit as he handed me the towels which made him giggle.

“I can’t really help with pants but I guess you could borrow a top.”

“You’re the best, did I ever tell you that.” He gave me his adorable grin before promising me breakfast when I emerged from the shower. After a quick shower I headed back to Spencer’s room to try and scrounge something out of his wardrobe, he seemed to have an affinity for dress shirts of all colours and styles. I decided on a long sleeved plain white shirt with the intricate leather belt I’d worn yesterday to synch it in at the waist before taking one of his light brown, wool cardigans to go over the top. It was with reluctance that I pulled yesterday’s jeans on; if this was going to become a regular occurrence, and I really hoped it would, I would have to start leaving some clothes here. As promised, when I emerged from the bathroom a breakfast of pancakes was being plated up in the kitchenette.

“I hope it tastes as good as it smells.” He turned to smile before stopping as he took in my appearance. “What?”

“You just look so... beautiful. Even in my clothes you look good. You look like the girls Morgan dances with when we go out.” He sighed, looking away from me as I spoke.

“Spencer, I’m here with you _not_ Morgan. Morgan’s great, if I ever want to get my ‘groove thing’ on then he is my go to guy. But when I want to wake up next to the sweetest guy I’ve ever met then you’re the one I go to.” I wrapped myself around him before planting a tender kiss on his neck.

“I’m sorry, I must sound so needy and most women find that a turn off.” He stated as if he was reading out of a dating book.   

“No statistics?” I joked.

“I’m trying to work them out of everyday conversation.”

“Don’t, they’re you, you shouldn’t change.” He smiled down at me before kissing me.

“Hotch would kill me if I let the assistant, assistant coach miss the game, now eat the pancakes.” I laughed; Aaron had taken up the job of coaching Jack’s team a few weeks ago with Dave as his assistant and me in the coveted position of assistant, assistant coach which basically entailed holding Dave’s diagrams, shouting encouragement, helping the injured children and, in what was the most frightening duty of all, cover for them when they were away on a case. Despite the fact I had grown up in a house full of boys I’d managed to escape their love of soccer so I barely knew which end the boys were aiming for, let alone how to coach them. Although I was getting better, at the last training session I’d even impressed Dave with my knowledge of the offside rule.

“How much syrup do you need?” Spencer stared in shock at the amount of thick, golden goodness I was coating my pile of pancakes in.

“Hotch has been rationing me.” I pouted sadly, why he’d taken it upon himself to change my diet I had no idea; I couldn’t imagine him telling Derek Morgan not to have a second doughnut, but then again I couldn’t imagine Derek Morgan eating his own weight in chocolate on a daily basis. Spencer laughed about how hard my life was before dousing his own in syrup. We ate in companionable silence with the radio playing the top ten in the background. I finished mine first; I’d always been known for the ability to demolish any pile of food in minutes, it was one of my finest achievements, and sat watching Spencer eat his. Once again his beauty left me awestruck; the long slender fingers that were currently twirling pancakes on his fork looked as if they’d be at home playing intricate pieces on a grand piano in a packed concert hall, I leaned across to cover the hand that wasn’t operating the fork. Spencer’s mouth turned upwards at the corners before turning his hand over and using his fingers to grip my wrist while I did the same, despite the rough, tireless nature of his work his hand and wrist felt smooth and soft unlike Aaron’s that always felt calloused and coarse whenever I touched his hands, not something I did too often. With a final squeeze of his fingers Spencer finished chewing his final mouthful and headed off to shower while I took a closer look around his apartment; he had a few pictures dotted around of his team and his Mom, one of which made me stop and take a second look, it was a picture of him and his Mom when he was about four or five but what really caught my attention was the arm around Spencer. An arm that had no body attached to it. Intrigue overrode my sense of guilt at snooping on my boyfriend and I gently slipped the picture out of its frame, it had been carefully folded to cut out a dark haired man. I stared down at the smiling man with his arm around his wife and son and felt a surge of anger, the same anger I felt whenever I saw something of my Mothers. Even my own eyes that were the twin of hers.

“How did you know?” Spencer’s sudden reappearance made me jump and I nearly dropped his picture but somehow managed to hold onto it. The guilt decided that now was the right time to override the intrigue and my face turned scarlet. I quickly put the picture back in its frame and on the side all the while mumbling apologies about how I shouldn’t have been looking; I risked a peak at him, he didn’t look too angry but all he did was repeat his earlier question.

“How did I know what?”

“That the picture was folded” The question struck me as odd considering the circumstances but I decided it was best to just answer it.

“Um... well I guess I noticed the arm.” I shrugged. “Or maybe I was looking for it; I mean you never mention your Dad.”

“You never mention your Mom.” He fired back.

“No, I don’t.” I agreed quietly. “I am sorry I looked.”

“Its ok, it shows what a good profiler you are. Not many people would notice something like that.”

“I guess I’ve spent too long living with Hotch.” I gave a small smile and he kissed my forehead before grabbing his jacket and heading for the door. I followed him out the house, still feeling awkward after he caught me snooping but he didn’t seem to hold a grudge as he wrapped an arm around me.

“When did you’re Mom leave?”

“How do you know she’s not dead?”

“Same reason you know my Father’s alive. People tend to overcompensate when a parent dies, they talk about them a lot, often with ‘rose tinted glasses’ where they forget everything bad they did and focus predominantly on all the good things. Whereas we never mention them because we think if we forget them, then the pain of rejection will go away.” I wrapped my arm around his waist to give him a squeeze, wishing there was a way I could make his still present pain go away.

“I was fifteen and she decided that having children was too hard, so one day she went out for milk and never came back. She didn’t even take any of her stuff, just left a note saying she hoped we could forgive her.” I took a deep breath to try and clear my constricted throat. “We never heard from her again. What about you?”

“I was ten. At the time he said it was because he couldn’t cope with my Mum’s schizophrenia but later it transpired that he couldn’t cope with the knowledge that my Mum had been involved in a murder.”

“Hang on, what?” I looked at him in shock at what he’d just told me.

“It’s a long story.” He sighed and for a minute I didn’t expect him to tell me any more. “A boy called Riley Jenkins was murdered and...” He paused for a minute, taking a deep breath as he tried to find the strength to continue. I wanted to tell him to stop but some morbid curiosity inside me wanted him to continue. “And my Mother knew the murderer, you see, he tried talking to me and a ‘mother knows these things’ so she told Riley’s Dad and they went round to his. Riley’s Dad beat him to death and my Mom came in and... She slipped in his blood. My Dad had to burn the clothes. He never got over it, so he... he left us.” I stopped and hugged Spencer as tightly as was humanly possible, wanting to take his pain away. “We make a right pair.” He gave a humourless laugh at the dark humour of the situation; two lonely souls who managed to find each other.

“It doesn’t matter if they want us or not, hell it doesn’t even matter if the rest of the world rejects us as long as there is one person in the world who cares about you.”

“Have you found that one person?” He whispered quietly.

“I hope so.” I leaned up and pressed my lips against his, wanting to take away every ounce of pain his Dad had ever caused him and, selfishly, hoping that he could take away all of mine, hoping that one day I could look in the mirror and see my eyes staring back at me, not hers.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

**Spencer Reid POV**

I still wasn’t sure why I’d told her about my Dad, it was such a painful, private thing but when she poured her heart out to me it seemed wrong to hold back on her, even though I’d wanted to. I stared across at her, strangely happy that I had found someone who understood what it was like to be rejected by one of the people who were meant to love you unconditionally. She was driving us to the game, she’d said it was because she found giving directions difficult but I’d spent long enough in the BAU to know when someone was lying; stiff and limited physical expressions, no eye contact, hands touching face or throat and a delay between words and emotional gestures: Marley had said she trusted my driving and then gave a reassuring smile rather then doing it at the same time. I found her lack of faith in my driving skills slightly disheartening, after all there was one car crash related death every thirteen minutes which meant one hundred and fifteen people died ever day, so seeing that I had been driving for eleven years it calculated that four hundred, sixty two thousand and seventy people died in the time I had been driving while I had never even been in an accident. I was about to point that out to her, I was all ready to explain that letting me drive would have meant we would have got there just as safely but then I made the fatal mistake of turning to face her and all words failed me. The sun was streaming in the car window, illuminating her hair like a halo and reminding me that rather than being angry she didn’t trust my driving I should be grateful that she was next to me. I couldn’t stop smiling as I continued to stare at her, although I knew it was socially unacceptable I just couldn’t stop.

“I thought I was the master of staring longingly.” She laughed, raising an eyebrow but keeping her eyes fixed firmly on the road.

“Oh...I... uh... I wasn’t... I mean... I wasn’t staring.” I blushed as a wave of indistinguishable babble spewed from my mouth but she just laughed and reached out to squeeze my hand before taking it back to signal we were cutting down one of the side roads. I guessed we were nearly there as a green playing field came into view in the distance, the sight of the field instantly made me feel nervous as I realised I had to spend the morning trying to gain Jack’s affection. I was scared of what would happen if Jack continued in his growing dislike for me; what would Hotch think of me? Would it affect my job? And more importantly, would it affect how Marley felt about me? I mean she loved Jack more then anything in the world and if he continued to hate me where did that leave us? I decided to just try my best and not get in between him and Marley this morning.

“Don’t worry; he’ll come round, just show off your adorable self. What’s not to love?” As always she just knew what was going through my mind, I smiled at her before grabbing my jacket from the backseat and allowing her to lead me from the car park and towards the green where boys in red kits were warming up beside Hotch and Rossi. Marley squeezed my hand before hurrying over towards the team with me following two steps behind, wondering if my magic tricks might persuade Jack I was a decent person. Jack let out a squeal of delight when he saw her and raced towards us across the field, Marley swept him up into her arms and cuddled him close all the while the two giggled together at some secret joke. It was beautiful watching the two together and one look at Hotch, who was also watching the scene with one of his rare smiles on his face, told me that he felt the same. Marley twirled round with Jack in her arms before coming back to me.

“Say hello to Spencer, Jack.” Jack’s face instantly fell when he saw me and he mumbled something that may have been a hello. I smiled back and hoped the ‘Reid effect’ as my friends called it would wear off very soon. Marley gave me an apologetic look before whispering something in Jack’s ear; he nodded before cuddling closer to her, hiding his face in his hair as if looking at me too long was painful for him. With a final squeeze from Marley he let her put him down and ran back towards the rest of the team.

“We were wondering where you’d got to! Hello Reid.” Rossi raised an eyebrow but sad nothing more about the two of us arriving together. Hotch greeted us before introducing me to the team who dutifully said hello back although from their lacklustre greeting I guessed Jack had informed them of the annoying new presence in his life. Marley had turned her attention to my two older teammates who were talking tactics and eyeing up the opposition while I just stood there trying to comprehend what they were talking about. Of course I knew the theory behind soccer and most of the rules but I had never been interested in soccer and everything that Hotch and Rossi were saying was going over my head.

“I have no idea what you’re all talking about.” I admitted to Marley when the three of them broke apart as the referee introduced himself to Hoch.

“Nor do I!” She laughed. “I’m just the pretty face that gives puppy dog eyes to the ref so they let our team get away with murder!”

“I better be careful of your eyes, they seem dangerous.” I joked but noticed a strange look pass across her face. It was a blink and miss it look but there had definitely been one, I had no more time to ponder it however, as the game began. I leaned heavily on my stick surrounded by parents who thought that speaking on the phone for the whole game was acceptable while Hotch, Rossi and Marley ran up and down with the players, yelling encouragement and suggestions. By half time the two teams were drawing which, judging by the three coaches jubilation, was a great achievement. Marley was busy making sure all the boys had a drink and their laces were done up while Hotch and Rossi came over to see me.

“Enjoying the game? We’ve never seen you here before.” Rossi observed. I peeked over at Hotch wondering how much, if anything, he had told Rossi but as always Hotch’s poker face gave nothing away.

“Oh... um... Marley invited me. It’s good, you guys are good coaches.” I looked down and hoped he wouldn’t continue to question me too much, Marley and I hadn’t talked about whether or not to tell people although as a secret it probably wasn’t going too well: Hotch, Jack, Morgan, Mom and, let’s face it, Rossi all knew that I was going out with Marley.

“She’s a really nice girl.” Rossi remarked as we watched Marley on her knees giggling with all the boys around her getting excited for the next half.

“I know.” I agreed quietly, knowing there was no way I could give more away then we already had; I mean we’d turned up together with Marley in my clothes, it didn’t take a profiler to work out where she’d spent the night. Rossi and Hotch shared a look I wasn’t meant to see before turning the conversation back to their other weekend plans. We were just talking about getting the others together and going for a drink together later, although Hotch said he’d have to see if Jessica could watch Jack, when Marley’s bag began vibrating by my feet making me jump a little.

“Marley!” Hotch called over to where she was still mucking around with the boys before picking up her bag and pulling out her cell. She jogged over and grabbed it from him before hitting a button and talking into it. She pulled a confused face before asking who it was before laughing when she heard who it was. She continued chatting to the person on the other end while we all tried not to eavesdrop before she eventually turned back to Hotch with her hand covering the speaker.

“Hey, what are we doing tonight?”

“Nothing, I mean we were just talking about going out later with the rest of the team but you can go out, I’m sure Jess can look after Jack.”

“Cool, only Garcia just called me. Is she allowed to go through the computer system for my number?” She asked as an afterthought while we all laughed, this was _so_ Garcia. “Anyway, she asked if I wanted to go out with her and the other girls.”

“You should go; you’ll have a good time.” She nodded at Hotch before turning her attention back to the phone and agreeing to hang out with the girls.

“Looks like it’ll be a boy’s night out.” Rossi surmised before the ref blew the whistle to announce the start of the second half. 


	7. Girls Night Out

**7\. Girls night out**

**Marley Prince POV**

After the game I’d managed to convince Aaron to go for an early lunch with Dave and Spencer while I took Jack to the park where we spent the next few hours running around playing hide and seek, seeing how high I could push Jack on the swings and pretending that there were sharks on the floor and the only safe place was the climbing frame. The two of us had eventually headed home exhausted but in high spirits to find Aaron preparing dinner for us.

“Do you know why I hired you?” Aaron asked as Jack ran off to start the preparations for our game of hide and seek.

“This better not be when you try to sexually harass me.” I joked to cover up my confusion at the deep topic of conversation.

“No, I hired you because I thought you would be different from Haley.” I looked at him in confusion wondering where the hell this conversation was going. “I mean, I wanted Jack to have someone who loved him but not someone to take her place. Then when I saw you I thought you’d be just like a big sister to him; turns out your the closest person to Haley I could have found.”

“Oh, um...thanks?” I looked at him quizzically; I mean what was I meant to say to that? “You’re not firing me for being too much like your wife, are you?”

“No.” He smiled slightly as if the idea was ridiculous. “I’m just trying to say that I’m glad you’re here, and I’m glad he has you.”

“Aaron, have you been mixing medications?” I smiled, unsure what had bought out the sentimentality in my usually so well put together boss. He looked around awkwardly as if he didn’t know where it had come from either; throwing caution to the wind I stepped forward and hugged my boss. It wasn’t exactly something we did often, actually only twice before; when I got the job and my first day at school. He gave my shoulders a quick squeeze before we quickly parted.

“Do you know why I took the job?” I asked.

“Because you needed the money?” He guessed, quite accurately for the most part.

“True, that’s why I _needed_ a job like this but not why I took _this_ one. I went for over twenty interviews and was offered almost everyone.” He looked at me in shock.

“Really? I mean you had no experience other then looking after your brothers and you needed flexible working hours for school...” He trailed off, seeing the look of amusement on my face.

“Aaron, most of the other people I looked into working for were upper class Mommies who didn’t work but didn’t want to raise their own children either. All they cared about was that I was a white, all American girl who was studying for a degree and, at the time, single with no boyfriend prospects. Aaron, I am the Armani bag of nannies. But you, you were different. When I came in here it felt like you needed me, I guess I like feeling needed. Plus Jack is really cute.” He laughed, a bright smile on his face, it was a beautiful thing that happened much too rarely. “Right, I think that’s enough Oprah for tonight, I’ll go check on Jack.”

The aforementioned Jack had already found all the duvets in the house and was trying to cover the dinner table in them although he wasn’t having much success so I took over and pulled them tight until there was no table left. Then, Jack shoved me into a corner and told me to count to twenty before disappearing out of sight.

 /\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

 “You look really pretty, Marley.” The adorable Jack Hotchner told me as he sat on my bed watching me get ready for my night out with the girls.

“Hair up or down?” I asked him as I flounced around in front of the mirror.

“Down.” Aaron commented from the doorway making me jump. He was ready for his night out wearing a smart yet casual dress shirt and pants although the look was currently being ruined by the pair of Disney pyjamas he was holding. I smiled my appreciation at him before allowing my hair to fall back down around my shoulders; I took one last at myself in the mirror to check I looked presentable before turning to help Aaron coax the young boy into his night time wear. While Jack usually took his god sweet time getting dressed today he was excited to spend time with his aunt (I thought my bribe of going to the park again next week if he behaved may have also had something to do with it) so he got ready in the minimal amount of time. We were ready five minutes before Jessica appeared at the door ladened with presents to spoil her nephew; I’d met her several times before, she’d come round the day I’d moved in and whenever Aaron and Jack went to her house for dinner I was always invited too.  

“You look nice.” She complimented as I led her into the living room where Jack was sat under a blanket picking out which film he was going to watch with his aunt, it was between _Finding Nemo_ and _Basil the Mouse Detective._ It was obvious that I needed to hang out with some adults when I felt a pang that I’d miss out on watching _Basil the Mouse Detective,_ it was one of my all time favourite movies.

“Thanks.” I smiled back at her, I didn’t think I looked that great; all I had on was a sequined red top and some skinny black jeans but I’d take any compliments I could get. Aaron was the first to leave, kissing Jack goodbye and promising to be there when he woke up tomorrow morning, before grabbing his keys and leaving. I sat down with Jess and Jack while I waited for JJ, Garcia had told me earlier that JJ had said she would pick me up as it was on her way. Jack began talking excitedly about his day and the soccer game, which we drew; it was the first time since I’d been going to the game that the team had got within spitting distance of winning and everyone was excited about next week’s game. I jumped when the doorbell rang having half forgotten that I was meant to be leaving. When I opened the door JJ was stood leaning against the doorframe playing with a loose strand on her top.

“Hi, thanks for giving me a lift.”

“No problem, it’s on my way.” She flashed me a sweet smile as I grabbed my coat but before we could get any further Jack’s tiny arms were wrapped around my waist. He mumbled something that sounded like ‘don’t go’ and I shared a look with JJ, remembering she had a young son called Henry. I lent down and hugged him tightly.

“You know I’ll be back later, when you wake up I’ll be there.” I promised.

“Like Daddy?”

“Yeah, we’ll be there when you wake up. Night night Sweetheart.” I kissed his head before giving him a final squeeze and letting out a sigh of relief when he ran back to Jessica.

“I’m not looking forward to Henry getting to that stage, right now he doesn’t even notice when I slip out!” She laughed as we walked down the path to her car.

“How’s Henry?” I asked, desperate to string the conversation out as long as possible; I’d suddenly realised that I was about to spend an entire car journey with a women I’d only ever met once. Luckily mentioning her son set her off on several tales about the young toddler, not that I minded, the topic of children was something I could relate too both through Jack and my brothers. We began swapping stories; she seemed particularly interested in Jesse and Nick, laughing that Henry had better turn out like Nick. By the time we reached the car park of the bar we were heading too I felt relaxed in her company and actually felt exciting about meeting up with the other girls. It was obviously a regular haunt of the BAU as JJ went straight to what she called ‘their’ table to wait for the others; the bar was quite full although that wasn’t too surprising seeing that it was a Saturday night.

“JJ!” Emily Prentiss appeared at the head of the table wearing a patterned top and dark pants. “Hey, Marley good to see you again. No Garcia?”

“No, she’s probably with Kevin.” The two girls shared a look and giggled.

“Boyfriend?” I guessed and they nodded their agreement.

“Whose boyfriend?” Garcia enquired as she hugged each of us before sitting at one of the unoccupied seats.

“How’s Kevin?” JJ asked coyly before falling about laughing as Garcia’s cheeks turned red. “He’s fine.” She replied indignantly before turning to me. “How’s our little Genius?”

 _My little genius,_ The thought made me blush and I hoped I hadn’t given too much away. “Oh, he’s fine. I mean you guys have seen him at work.”

“Yeah but hasn’t he been staying with you?” Emily countered.

“Yeah, just so Aaron can help him get to work, that bastard really messed him up.” I growled angrily causing the others to sombre for a moment. Suddenly a thought struck me and I decided to see if they would know anything about Tobias and Aaron’s strange warning.

“What happened with Tobias?” I asked quietly, knowing it would change the mood around the table but being unable to stop my self. As I’d expected they all went pale, Garcia even chocked on her drink.

“How do you know about him?”

“Spencer mentioned him last night.”

“He did?” Emily sounded shocked. “He never tells people things like that.” I shrugged not wanting to tell them why he felt he could trust me.

“Well what did he say?” JJ asked tentatively.

“Just that you went out to interview a suspect who turned to be the Unsub and he got taken.” I paused.

“That’s basically what happened; he tortured him for two days. It was horrendous.” Garcia shuddered at the idea.

“It took him a long time to get over it.” Emily added quietly. We all sat sombrely for a few minutes, each wrapped in our own thoughts before a hand tapped my shoulder. I turned round to see a six foot, poster boy for the Aryan race grinning at me.

“Hey honey, want to dance?” He smiled hopefully at me and if I wasn’t sat there missing my boyfriend’s company I would have given into him.

“Sorry, I can’t.” I watched his face fall and I felt instantly guilty. “I’m with someone.” He nodded and, still looking a little dejected, left.

“With someone?” JJ enquired coyly.

“I told him that so he’d leave.”

“You sure you’re not getting personal with a certain doctor?” Garcia gave me a gentle shove and I blushed before mumbling a defence that I knew wouldn’t fool a moron let alone the cream of the FBI.

“Oh. My. God!” Emily squealed while Garcia hugged me. “You have to tell us everything!”

“There’s not mu...”

 “When? Where? How come you haven’t told _us_ yet?!” Garcia interrupted me with a million questions.

“We haven’t really told anyone, I mean a couple of people know but....” I trailed off, gesturing vaguely as my face turned beet red.

“Who knows?” Emily persisted, for FBI agents they seemed very short on gossip.

“Umm... Aaron, Jack, Derek, Dave, Spencer’s Mom... I think that’s it.”

“So all the _male_ members of the team knew?” JJ looked scandalous.

“Well Aaron and Derek walked in on us kissing...” I blushed as I recounted the story. “Then Jack did and Dave guessed it.” The girls seemed satisfied with the answer although I had a feeling Spencer would be pounced on, on Monday morning. We spent the night dancing and drinking together (although being the light weight I was, I decided to stick to the soft drinks), chatting about random events until JJ drove me home just after one o’clock. I thanked her profusely for the wonderful night out and she promised me that we’d do it again soon; despite my reservations at the start of the night I was looking forward to spending time with them again, it would be nice to have some girl friends to hang out with.

The house was dark when I opened the door and Jess’ stuff was still in the hallway I guessed she’d decided neither of us would be home at a respectable time and had crashed in the spare room. From my amazing profiling skills, i.e. Aaron’s shoes were still missing from the shoe rack; I could tell that I’d beaten my boss home. I hoped he was having a nice time, after everything he’d been through he deserved it. After stashing my shoes in the shoe rack, Hotch liked things tidy and if he came home drunk and preceded to fall over my shoes I would be for it in the morning; I headed upstairs but before crashing in my own room I headed into Jack’s to check on him. The little boy was curled up on his side breathing deeply as he snuggled against rooster; his nightlight was still on illuminating his angelic face and I felt a stirring of love inside me for the tiny child. I crept up to his bed and sat down beside him as I ran my hands through his hair in a gesture I knew he found comforting. My eyes fell on the picture he kept on his nightstand of him and his Mom; she was beautiful, cradling her son to her and laughing at something he said.

“Your Mom loves you so much.” I whispered to the boy.

“He knows.” Aaron’s voice startled me and it took all I had not to yelp in shock and wake Jack. He headed into the room and bent down to kiss his son before smiling at me. “She’d have loved you.”

“You think?”

“I know she would.” I couldn’t find the words to say how the comment made me feel but I hoped his profiling skills would help him understand. He lay a gentle hand on my shoulder before turning off the nightlight as the two of us made our way out the room; leaving a content little boy dreaming of happy time with his mother.      

  

 

     

 

                   


	8. Unexpected

**8\. Unexpected.**

**Spencer Reid POV**

My eyes burned angrily as I opened them, probably because I hadn’t had much sleep the night before. Morgan had insisted on us staying out into the early hours especially when he caught the eye of a gang of beautiful girls in the corner; I was pretty sure he’d ended up going home with one of them. I turned my head away from the curtains; the light was just too bright but the sight of the empty space that had housed Marley only last night was a lot worse. I missed her, it was plain and simple. As if she had read my mind my phone buzzed from its position on my bedside table and her name came up across the screen. I quickly flicked it open and read the text: **Miss you, fancy breakfast? xxx**  

 **You bet, pick you up in half an hour? X** I smiled as I put the kiss on the end, it felt weird but I forced myself to do it. I rolled over and pulled myself out of bed and towards the bathroom, hoping that a blast of warm water would wake me up and wash away the dark circles under my eyes before I saw Marley. I decided it was best to wait until after my shower to look in the mirror but when I did I still looked pale and ghostlike. Deciding there was nothing that could be done to make me look more presentable other than run a quick brush through my hair, I quickly left to pick up Marley, desperate to be close to her.  It felt strange wanting to be so close to someone all the time, I mean I’d only seen her yesterday but it still felt too long. At least now I had a reason to turn up randomly on Hotch’s doorstep without it looking too weird, which was good because Aaron was still dressed in his pyjamas and didn’t look too impressed to see me.

“Hey Hotch.” I smiled happily at him, hoping he wouldn’t slam the door in my face. He ran a hand over his face before opening the door wider and allowing me entry into the hall where lovely smells were wafting from the kitchen along with voices and laughter, the perfect family morning. Aaron led the way back down the hall and into the kitchen where Jessica and Marley were cooking. Despite Marley having probably got back just as late as us she looked gorgeous; her hair had gone back to its naturally curly state that, for some unimaginable reason, Marley hated and her tight top left little to my imagination.

“Honestly Spence didn’t your mother ever tell you it was rude to stare.” Marley turned to flash me an evil smile before crossing the room and planting a quick kiss on my lips; by now I was used to her taste, sweet but with a hint of something bitter like coffee, it was intoxicating. Some people might want to compare it to a drug but that comparison was too dangerous; I didn’t want to link Marley to my sordid addiction. A disgruntled little noise from behind told me that Jack still wasn’t impressed with me being near his Marley. “What’s up with you little man?” She ruffled his hair as she passed him to grab her coat and he followed her, clinging onto her arm.

“I’ll talk to him.” Hotch said quietly from beside me.

“You don’t...”

“Reid.” Aaron cut me off abruptly. “He’s my son and I won’t tolerate rudeness from him. Even if it is because he loves Marley.” I just nodded, not wanting to intervene with Hotch’s parenting but not wanting Jack to get in trouble because of me; somehow I didn’t think that would help. Marley came back carrying her coat with Jack following up the rear looking slightly put out.

“Jack, go wash your hands for breakfast.” Hotch instructed, obviously trying to avoid a temper tantrum at me taking _his_ Marley. Again. Marley, obviously sensed what was about to happen and bent down to whisper something in his ear, what she said I don’t know but it seemed to work as he hugged her tightly before flashing a big grin in the direction of Hotch and running off to wash his hands.

“See you later.” She grinned at the bemused look on Hotch’s face before tugging my sleeve and heading for the door. I managed to make it to the sidewalk before I asked her what on Earth she’d said to bring about such a change in Jack she just tapped the side of her nose and told me to mind my own business.

“I’m just curious.” I complained but she wouldn’t budge, instead changing the subject to what I wanted to eat. In the end we grabbed some coffee and cake from my favourite shop and headed to the park. The bitter, October wind blew around us, throwing up the leaves so they swirled around us in hypnotic circles; we sat on a wooden picnic with our feet on the bench watching the people milling around us while we sipped our coffees.

“Did you have a nice night?” I asked Marley as she snuggled against me for warmth, her head resting against my shoulder while my senses went into hyper vigilance; she was so close and I wanted her desperately, even though she was my girlfriend the thought made me blush.

 “You’re blushing.” She stated bluntly. “What are you thinking about? Derek upset your sensitive nature by dancing with semi naked girls? Or was Dave telling you about his experimentations as a young man? No, no I’ve got it! Aaron was telling you about the time he walked in on me naked and that image is just too much for you.” She giggled naughtily while I squirmed uncomfortably as the last one came too close to the truth.

“No.” I squeaked pulling away from her slightly.

“Hmmm... I really had Dave down as the experimental type.” I burst out laughing at her serious tone while letting her settle back against me. “So are you?”

“Am I what?” I asked completely confused by where she was going.

“Turned on by me?” She turned in my embrace to wink at me while I tuned the colour of her beret.

“I’m really not comfortable having this conversation in the middle of a park surrounded by children.”

“True, if I end up on some register its going to make my job so much harder.” She beamed up at me before leaning across to steal some of my cake. “Sorry, I’m a bit... _hyper_ from last night.”

“It’s fine.” I leaned forward so that my lips were millimetres away from her ear before whispering gently into it. “For the record you’re beautiful.”

“And you’re adorable.” She giggled before turning and capturing my lips with hers, I wrapped my arms tightly around her to bring her as close as humanly possible. Someone tutted in our general direction but I couldn’t care less; all that mattered was us.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Marley was lounging across the sofa like a jean clad Cleopatra waiting patiently for me to pick something to watch; she’d delegated the duty of choosing something to me while she got the popcorn ready. That had been ready for going on five minutes but I still couldn’t choose anything. There was such a choice to make which wasn’t made any easier by Marley’s laughter in the background.

“Fine what about this one?” I held it up to her and she just started laughing again, managing to nod her agreement before pulling the comforter over her in preparation. Once again we’d spent the day together doing nothing much, we’d tried to do some work in the afternoon for our papers but being around each other was... distracting to say the least. I settled back down beside Marley and she wrapped the comforter around me before offering me popcorn from the bowl she was hugging against her.

“This weekend has been... unbelievably good.” I admitted quietly, still trying to get my own head around how things could have changed so much so quickly.

“I know and just think we have lots more to come.” I hadn’t even considered the future beyond tomorrow, I didn’t want to tempt fate but the thought many more weekends like this one made everything seem a little bit brighter. I snuggled down against her, for once hoping that my phone wouldn’t ring tonight and I could enjoy one more night of peace with Marley. Sadly we were only half way into the film when the phone went.

But it wasn’t mine.

Marley wrestled it out of her pocket before staring curiously at the number and flipping it open to answer. It reminded me of Garcia’s call yesterday but instead of making her smile this caller had taken every drop of blood from her face; she grabbed my hand in a death grip as if it was the only thing keeping her upright. I was desperate to know what had happened but the small noises Marley was making gave nothing away, after what felt like forever she finally hung up. I didn’t even have to ask what had happened before tears began trickling down her face and she told me in a cracked voice:

“There’s been a car accident.”                  


	9. Defiance

**9\. Defiance.**

**Marley Prince POV**

Spencer Reid was silent. That was how bad things had got, although to be honest the silence may have something to do with me screaming at him when he tried to tell me a statistic about the survival rates of car crash victims. Right now, however, I was desperate to hear the end of his statistic, desperate for him to tell me that my family would be ok. I leaned across and squeezed his hand and felt a small pinprick of reassurance when he squeezed back.

“They’ll be fine.” He promised me, he regarded me out of the corner of his eyes, obviously gauging my emotional state. Once he had decided that I wasn’t going to scream at him again he continued on with his previous statistic. “They would have been wearing seat belts which would reduce the risk of fatal injury by forty five percent and the risk of moderate to critical injury by fifty percent.” 

“So they’ll be ok?” I specified, but Spencer’s pause sent my hope plummeting back down into the depths. “Spence?”

“I...I don’t know enough about the accident to give you a definitive answer but... I’m confident everything.... everything will be ok.”

“Thanks.” I whispered, although I wasn’t the least bit convinced by his argument at least he’d tried to make me feel better. I felt sick as he took the turning for the hospital and clung onto his hand tighter, drawing strength from the familiar texture and sinews. Spencer parked the car and wrapped a protective arm around me as we headed into the sterile world of Civista medical centre; I tried to remember the last time I’d been in a hospital, I thought it was when Jesse dared VJ to climb a tree and he fell out, breaking an arm and three ribs. Before I had time to bottle out and run back home to bury my in the sand, Spencer had led me to the reception desk and asked about my boys. I watched the young girl check the computer for any details before nervously biting her lip and telling me she had to get a Doctor.

“Oh God!” I yelped pulling away from Spencer and pacing up and down. “They’re dead aren’t they? I didn’t even say a proper goodbye and they’re gone!”

“Marley!” Spencer grabbed my shoulders and shook me gently; pulling me away from the brink I’d be staring into a few seconds previously. “You don’t know that. They’ll be ok, everything will be ok.” He stopped talking and began making comforting sounds as he held me close.

“Excuse me?” A middle aged man, with thinning ginger hair and horn rimmed glasses stood in front of us holding a clip board. “You’re here for...”

“Yes, are they ok?”

“Are you family.”

“Yes.”

“How...?”

“He’s my Dad.” He nodded before beckoning that we follow him to a small office down the corridor, all the way there my mind was working overtime wondering what the hell had happened; he wouldn’t take us into the office if everything was fine would he? I sat down in one of the two chairs on the right side of the desk and Spencer took the other while the Doctor opted to lean against the desk, he was trying to lull us into a false sense of security; Aaron did it when he wanted to talk about something serious but not spook me.   

“You’re Dad’s going to be fine, he has a few cuts and bruises but he was lucky. The car slammed into the other side... which brings me onto your brother.” The surgeon paused and took a deep, steadying breath. _No..._ “He _was_ on the side the car hit... he’s in surgery now. We’re doing everything we can for him... but you need to be prepared that it may not be good news.”

“Please nothing can happen to him, he’s been through so much.... he deserves a happy life.” I let out a little choke and put my head in my hands while Spencer soothingly rubbed my shoulders.

“Would you like to see your Dad?” I nodded, somehow finding the strength to stand and allowed myself to be led down the hall, towards a private room that held a man I knew would be on the verge of a breakdown.

“Marley.” Spencer grabbed my arm, stopping me a few feet from the room. “I’ll go call the others, you’ll need them.” I nodded as he kissed my forehead tenderly before heading back down the corridor; I felt lonely without him by my side but also knew it was probably for the best that it was only me who first went in there. The Doctor waited for me to catch up before opening the door and allowing me entry.

“You’re daughter’s here.”

“Daughter?” He looked up slowly before catching my eye; he nodded slowly before putting a hand out to me. I took a step forward and clutched it tightly, as if he was drawing strength from me. “Any news?”

“You’ll be the first to know.” He shut the door quietly, leaving the two of us alone in the empty room.

“Daughter?”

“He wouldn’t have let me see you if we weren’t family.” I sighed gently, squeezing his hand before taking a side long glance at Aaron Hotchner: I’d seen him in his usual stern state, I’d seen those frightening glances that sent even the hardiest Unsub quivering when he was angry, I’d even the seen his rare smiles but I’d never seen him like this, and honestly I never, ever wanted to again. He looked like Jack; I knew the two shared some similar facial features and Jack was perfecting his Dad’s scowl but right now Aaron had the frightened look Jack wore when he came to me in the middle of the night after a bad dream. Tears trickled out of his eyes before following the well worn track down his face; unable to stand it any more I used my free hand to wipe the current tears from his cheeks.

“Marley.” He looked desperately at me before wrapping his arms around me; when I felt his shoulders shaking I hugged him that little bit tighter, hoping to give him some small morsel of comfort because seeing Aaron like this was unnerving, he was always the strong one.

“It’ll be ok, he’ll be fine. Haley won’t let anything happen to him.”

“It came out of nowhere. We’d gone to Jess’ for dinner and Jack was getting tired so I decided to get him home, he was asleep in his seat before we even left her street. We were halfway home and I guess the idiot went through the red light, one second everything was fine and the next everything went blank. I must have been out for a few minutes and when I came too it was so silent, I mean there were loads of people around the car but inside there wasn’t a sound; Jack wasn’t moving and I couldn’t get to him, I tr...” He let out a sob and buried his head in my shoulder while I rubbed slow circles on his back, much like Spencer had done earlier.

“Have you called Jess?” I asked when he’d calmed down enough to answer.

“Oh God I haven’t. I just... when they asked if there was anyone they could call for me I just thought of you. I needed _you_ here.”

“And I’m not going anywhere. Spencer’s outside calling the team so I’ll get him to do it when he comes back.” He nodded against my shoulder but didn’t seem to have the strength to move, we stayed like that for a little while, both drawing comfort from the other but neither of us speaking. We were both too wrapped in evil thoughts to contemplate speaking; I kept thinking back to Saturday morning when I’d considered staying in bed rather than going to his football game. How could I have even contemplated that?

“They’re on their way.” Spencer whispered quietly from the doorway, warily watching Aaron as if he was a wounded lion that may suddenly turn on him; I guess that wasn’t too far from the truth.

“Ready for another assignment? We need you to call Jess.” Spencer instantly gave a sigh of relief at the prospect of not having to sit with his boss while he broke down. “What about Sean?”

“I guess you better.” Aaron sighed as he pulled himself away from me. “And Rooster, if Jack wakes up and he’s not here... _if..._ ” He gave a little moan and dropped his head back into his hands while Spencer began shuffling from side to side with nerves, he was used to Aaron being the strong team leader but now he was the one who needed protecting. I guess this must be like Haley’s death, but this was different because Jack would not, _could not_ die. I turned back to Spencer and mouthed the word ‘car’, where Rooster must be, Jack never went anywhere without him. He nodded before giving me a small smile and departing on his errands. We stayed in silence for a few minutes longer before the door opened and the Doctor I’d spoken to earlier appeared.

“Is he... is he...” Aaron couldn’t finish the sentence; instead he looked frantic, like a man teetering on the edge of sanity. 

“He’s made it out of surgery but the next twenty four hours are critical. He’s got a broken arm, some bruised ribs and he had internal bleeding but we managed to stem it.”

“Can we see him?”

“Of course, I’ll send for a wheel...”

“I can walk.” Aaron snapped irritably, reminding me of the man I knew and loved. The Doctor looked at me for help but I gave him a look that said there was no point arguing with him.

“Ok, I’ll take you down.” He went to put a hand out to help Aaron but the withering look he received told him to back off, instead he leaned against me on the pretext of holding my hand for moral support.  We were lead even further into the warren of Civista until we came across an area marked _“ICU”_ with private rooms running around the outer walls and a nurse’s station in the centre. A Doctor came over and reiterated what we’d heard earlier before ushering us into Jack’s room.

He looked so tiny in the big, white bed with tubes running into his stomach, mouth and nose. He had bandages covering his arm and bare chest which rose and fell with the mechanical breaths of the ventilator he was hooked to. Aaron fell into the soft seat beside the bed while I leaned against the arm, unable to tear my eyes from the horror in front of me. Tears began to roll down my cheeks as I stared at my poor little boy; Aaron took my hand and squeezed it gently.

“Everything’s going to be ok.” He whispered more to himself than me but I nodded along all the same. Everything _would_ be ok.   


	10. Waking

**10\. Waking**

**Marley Prince POV**

For one blissful moment when I woke up I thought it had all been a nightmare, but the crick in my neck from the hospital chair told me otherwise. I groaned and opened my eyes to see Jack still lying on the bed with the heart monitor beeping rhythmically beside me. Aaron was still asleep in the other chair across from me, his head resting against the pillow the nurse had insisted on bringing him when he refused to go back to his room. Dawn was breaking outside the room but the bright, florescent hospital lights made this room feel like another world entirely. We’d spent hours sat with Jack, I guess the rest of the team had arrived at some point but only family were allowed in Jack’s room and neither of us had felt like going out and seeing them; Spencer hadn’t come back in so either he was still trying to find Rooster or he was with the others. I’d eventually fallen into a fretful sleep in the early hours, and my head was thumping angrily from the lack of rest. I stretched out, allowing my aching bones to relax back into their usual places before standing up and quietly walking out of the room. I wanted to find Spencer and just collapse into him, I’d been so strong for Aaron all night and I needed five minutes of comfort before I did it again.

The team, Sean and Jess were all fast asleep, curled up in the small waiting room when I entered. Spencer had seemingly made it back in one piece; he was leaning against Derek with a go- bag by his feet and Rooster in his arms. I wanted to curl up with him but then again he looked shattered and waking him seemed mean so instead I headed back out into the reception area intent on finding some coffee to get me through the day; out in the corridor heading back towards Aaron’s old room I managed to find a vending machine and a coffee machine. I got some hideous tasting coffee laced with so much sugar it would probably send me into a diabetic coma and, just for good measure, a bar of chocolate. I had intended on heading straight back to Jack’s room but then my eye was caught by the payphone on the wall opposite the machines and one thought struck me; my Dad, my _other_ Dad would know what to do. I dialled my old home number and waited patiently as it rang on and on, I was about to hang up when an irritable voice asked what the hell I wanted.

“Hey Jesse, it’s me.” I smiled, feeling comforted by the familiarly hostile voice of my brother.

“Do you know what time it is here?” He growled, while my mind tried to work out the time difference but my brain was too muggy from lack of sleep.

“I’m guessing early?”

“It’s three in the morning!”

“Ok, ok I’m sorry, look is...”

“I mean how selfish can you be? You better be in hospital, _dying_ because if you just fancied a chat then...”

“Actually I’m in hospital so can I speak to Dad.” I snapped irritably, I really didn’t have time for Jesse’s attitude.

“Oh God, Marls I’m sorry! Are you ok? Do you need us to come down because I can get us on a plane in an hour? I mean you called us so you’ve got to be ok, right?”

“Relax you sound like Nicky. Look I’m fine, my kid’s in hospital though and I just need to talk to Dad.” He made a little noise before yelling _“Dad! Marley! Hospital!”_ at the top of his voice. I rolled my eyes; Dad was probably having a heart attack on the other end.

“Marley? My God, are you ok baby?” I smiled, sliding down the wall and onto the well positioned seat by the phone as the familiar, husky voice of my Dad made me feel ten times better.

“Jack and Aaron are in hospital.” I whispered; curling myself into the tightest space I could like I used to when Mom and Dad argued late into the night, when I wanted nothing more than to disappear into the abyss. “There was a car accident and Aaron’s fine but Jack... Jack’s not waking up and... and...” I let out a little sob and gave out

“Shush, shush, hush, Baby it’ll all be ok. Look, give me a couple of hours and I can be there.” I smiled at how ready my Dad was to drop everything for me, to spend money he didn’t have, just to come sit with me by the bedside of a boy he’d never met. That was love.

“No, its fine, there’s loads of people here.”

“I’m sure there is.” He agreed. “But, they’re there for Aaron and Jack. I want to be there for you, baby.”

“I know but its cool; they’re my friends too, plus I have Spence.” My Dad laughed on the other end at the last comment. “What?”

“So the two of you finally pulled yourselves together then?”

“What, have you been taking profiler lessons or something? How did you know about him?” Why was it that everyone around me had suddenly taken to reading me like a book; even my own Father seemed to know everything that was going on in my mind.

“Baby girl, you’ve talked about him non stop for the last two months, now I don’t think you need a PhD in profiling to work out what that means.” I smiled; listening to my Dad was making me feel ten times better than I had when I first woke up and, as if the world had decided to finally cut me a break, another comforting presence made itself know with a warm hand on my shoulder.

“Dad I’ve got to go.”

“Ok, just tell Spencer to look after you and call me if you need me.” I promised my Dad I would before hanging up and turning around to see my knight in shining armour still clutching Rooster. I smiled up at him while leaning into his hand. He sat down on the chair next to mine so that our eyes were level before kissing me gently; it was light and chaste but the contact caused warmth to spill through me, I hadn’t realised how cold I was until his kiss. He held out his arms to me and I slid onto his lap, curling into his embrace; I felt Rooster pressed against my back and leaned around to take him from Spencer. He looked fine; no tears or rips, two eyes, four paws, he even smelt the same as he always did but there was something unnerving about his blank, staring eyes.

“Any change?” He asked but all I could do was shake my head solemnly and bury my head into the crook of his neck. His hand rubbed slow, soothing circles up and down my back as I tried not to start crying again.

“I’m glad you’re here.” I whispered into his skin, hoping the words would sink in by osmosis. His right hand moved to caress my neck while he peppered my forehead with gentle kisses; I clung to him like he was an anchor holding me steady in rough waters. It took me a few more minutes to compose myself enough to face going back to Jack’s room but eventually I could feel strength returning to me as my body and soul prepared for another emotional wreck of a day.

“Thank you.”

“I haven’t done anything.” He murmured back, embarrassed.

“Yeah you have, you’ve been you and right now that’s all I need. Well that and my little man waking up.” He nodded and placed a delicate kiss on my lips, murmuring something indistinguishable against them. With a final inhalation of Spencer’s scent I slipped off his lap to head back into the claustrophobic room. Spencer’s hand found mine and squeezed it tightly, much like he had on the first day of school, before we headed back hand in hand to find the others. Everyone was still asleep apart from Sean who had disappeared leaving Jess curled up on her own. With a final hug I headed off to check on my boys although when I opened the door I found that they had multiplied to include Sean who was involved in a brotherly embrace with Aaron. I tried to leave as quietly as possible but the ever observant Aaron raised his head and gave me a small smile before ushering me into a vacant chair. Sean turned to smile at me; he was hot, there was no other way to look at it and if I didn’t have an even hotter boyfriend outside I so would, but right now really wasn’t the time to think about that. 

“So you’re the hot honey behind that smouldering voice.” He grinned at me, trying to lighten the mood; we’d spoken on the phone several times and he reminded me of a male Penelope Garcia, full of fun and flirtation.

“Guess I am. So you’re the handsome Hotchner, it’s very nice to meet you. I just wish it was under better circumstances.” I shook his hand and he nodded sadly.

“I know, but Jack will be fine.” Sean’s absolute belief in his nephew’s recovery made me feel better, and from the smile on Aaron’s face I guessed it had helped him too. I reached out and stroked his immobile hand before placing Rooster against his chest to give him what I hoped was some reassurance. Noticing how teary Aaron and I were getting, Sean turned the conversation to coffee and, more importantly, where he could get it. After promising to bring Aaron back something hot and caffeinated we headed out the way I’d come to find the others were all stirring from their slumber with Spencer filling them in on Jack’s condition. We stopped to relay what we knew i.e. nothing new and receive hugs and condolences from everyone.

“Have any of the nurses said anything to you about the whole _family only_ thing?” Jess asked me after we’d shared a long hug.

“Um... no. I mean, at the start they asked who I was but I told them I was his daughter.” I watched nervously as all their faces went pale. Oh God, I’d really put my foot in it. “Look, I didn’t mean any disrespect to Haley. I... I just wanted to be with them and... and... I was stressed so it was the best... I’m really sorry Jess.”

“Marley, its fine you haven’t disrespected Haley. No, yours was much more respectful than ours.”

“Ours?” I asked in confusion, I must have missed a variable somewhere along the way but I couldn’t for the life of me work out what it was.

“They asked who you were when we got here, and we didn’t want you to get thrown out so we said...” She paused and looked around at the others, specifically Derek. “We said you were his fiancée.”

“Fiancée?” I glared at Derek who looked back innocently and mouthed _“I was stressed.”_ “Well, if the police come looking for the incestuous couple, send them to another room.” We all laughed at the ridiculousness of it all but stop almost instantly, feeling guilty that we were giggling when Jack was where he was. We gave each other understanding looks before going back to our respective ‘jobs’; the team sitting in the waiting room praying for the best and the _Hotchner_ _family_ sitting in the room praying for the best. Either way it meant a lot of sitting and praying.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

“They keep giving me funny looks.” I complained as I walked back into Jack’s room with what felt like our twentieth coffees of the day.

“That’s probably because they think you’re marrying your Dad.” Sean grinned, he found the whole story rather amusing while I found the whole thing worrying; every time I left the room a concerned group of nurses turned to stare and point me out to others who seem to come down from other departments to hear the story. I was hoping they all just thought we were terrible liars rather than believing the story.

“Are they still out there?” Aaron asked as he accepted a coffee from me. I nodded my response and he sighed as he heard. “They should go home; they’ve been here nearly twenty four hours.”

“They want to be here for you.”

“They could do that from the comfort of their own home. Nothings changing.” He sighed sadly as he admitted the last sentence. It was nearly midnight and apart from food and coffee pilgrimages I’d spent the entire day holed up in the room staring at Jack’s chest mechanically rising and falling. I was desperate for him to wake up; I’d lost count of the silent, desperate prayers I’d sent up to anyone who would listen- God, Jesus, Haley- but no one seemed to have heard. I was al ready to settle down for another night in one of the chairs a nurse had commandeered for us from other rooms when Aaron let out a strange yelp and lent closer to Jack.

“He moved! His hand moved!” We all lent closer, watching for any minute change in his body language, and soon enough we were rewarded by a small twitch in the fingers Aaron was clutching. He turned to grin at me, it was the best smile I’d ever seen in my life and I couldn’t help but hug him tightly as our prayers were answered. We waited with baited breath for anymore signs of his waking but for several minutes there was nothing, then, when we were all starting to believe that we’d imagined the whole event a little voice coughed out:

“Daddy.”   

        


	11. Hope

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its been so long! I've had it written out for months and it is all up on ff.net but I never quite got round to finishing putting all the chapters up on here. So you can have about 20 in a day!

**11\. Hope**

**Spencer Reid POV**

It was sometime after midnight and I was half asleep, curled up against Morgan who had stretched out as much as he could in the little chair. We’d all spent the day at the hospital, taking it in turns to go home to grab food and a shower as we didn’t want to leave them alone even for a second. Not that we’d seen much of them today, only when one of them, usually Marley, came out for coffee. When Marley came out she’d sit with us for a little bit, often wrapping her arms around me and snuggling tightly against my chest. I held her close and allowed that to soothe her, running my hands across her shoulders to try and work out the tension in them which she seemed to enjoy judging by the way she leant back into my embrace. About half eleven she’d come out for the latest round of coffee, seriously the four of them had drunk more in the last day than even I did in an entire week, and sat with us for a few minutes on her way back. I was worried about her; she looked pale and drawn with dark circles gouged deeply into the skin under her eyes but I knew there was nothing I could do or say to make it any better. All I could do was hope Jack would wake up soon. This time however, she wasn’t content to just let me rub her shoulders and instead wrapped her arms tightly around my neck, her nails digging into my skin slightly, and lent her face against mine. I’d noticed she did that a lot when she wanted to give or receive comfort so I followed her example and gently caressed her cheeks in what I hoped was a comforting gesture. She murmured something against my lips and for a split second I could have sworn she’d said _“I love you”_ but then I realised how ridiculous that was; like Marley would ever say anything like that to me.

“You need to sleep.” She snorted at my suggestion.

“It’s on my to-do list.” She agreed before yawning as if to prove my point. “Its fine, I’ll curl up with the handsome Hotchner.” I knew she was joking but my stomach squirmed at the mention of Sean; from what I’d seen of him and the girls reaction it was easy to see that he was aesthetically pleasing. She seemed to notice my change in behaviour as she shifted her position so her lips were close to my ear before she whispered: “I wish it was you. I wish we were together in your flat right now.”

“So do I.” I whispered as she kissed my cheek and gave me a bone crushing hug before heading back into Jack’s room.

“You two are so cute together.” Garcia cooed from across the room where she was sat with Emily reading a magazine. I blushed as the others agreed, all smiling at the intimate moment they’d witnessed between the two of us. I realised that although they knew about us, the girls had never seen Marley and me together as an official couple. “You two would have such beautiful babies.”

“Garcia!” I hissed, feeling my face heat up like a Christmas light. “We’ve been dating for eight days! Even by Morgan’s standard it’s hardly a ling term relationship.”

“Hey!” Morgan laughed playfully before punching me lightly on the arm.

“Yeah, but you’re going to be together forever. You’ll do the whole marriage, babies’ thing; I know it!”             

 “Garcia, leave him alone.” Rossi scolded and I smiled gratefully at him although she just went to whispering quietly with Emily and JJ in the corner.  I decided to do some reading before trying to get any sleep and picked up the book I’d bought from the hospital gift shop earlier; why on Earth would anyone call it a gift shop? Like you wanted any reminder of this visit. Morgan had plugged himself into his music and Rossi was doing a crossword from a puzzle book he’d bought at the same time as I’d got my book; it was quiet and you could imagine us as a family on Christmas Eve, each wrapped in our own thoughts but all of us together.

“Spencer!” Marley yelped as she appeared breathlessly at the door to the waiting room, tears were streaming down her face but she was smiling and she threw herself into my arms as I stood up.

“He’s awake.” I guessed, smiling as I enveloped her in an embrace. She nodded against my chest before pulling back so she could passionately kiss me; it was an amazing kiss, happiness and optimised oozed out of her, making me feel a million feet tall because she was sharing it with me.

“He’s awake.” She giggled when we pulled apart. “Thank God.” She sighed happily before burying her head in my chest, clutching my shirt tightly and let out another sigh it was relief. I took a few seconds to simply watch her; her dark hair pulled into a messy ponytail and she was still wearing the same clothes as she had on our date but she was beautiful. And she was mine. It reminded me a little of a song that had been playing non- stop on the radio lately; _“She is the best thing that’s ever been mine.”_  I never usually liked all that pop stuff, I was more into Jazz and the classics but the song had stuck in my mind. She smiled up at me with her mesmerising brown eyes and I couldn’t help but kiss her again.

“I’m so glad he’s going to be ok.” I breathed sincerely against her lips, she looked like she was about to say something else but then we were enveloped in a group hug by the rest of the team. Everyone looked ecstatic at the news; even Rossi had tears in his eyes although I knew he’d deny it if anyone mentioned it. Eventually we pulled apart and with a final kiss on my lips Marley went back to be with Jack; we were all still standing up, trying to take in the news that Jack was on the road to recover, when Garcia came and wrapped an arm around my waist.

“The two of you will be together forever! Too adorable!”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

**Marley Prince POV**

I felt like I was walking on air as I opened the door to Jack’s room to see him propped up on several cushions cuddling Rooster.  Aaron was sat in the chair closest to Jack, stroking his hair with one hand and holding Jack’s hands with his other. Sean and Jess were sat together on his left; Jess kept reaching out to touch Jack as if to check he was still there.

“Marley.” He put his arms out and I instantly moved forward to sit on his bed and kiss his nose. “It hurts.” Jack gave an adorable little pout but he sounded all sorry for himself.

“I love you, Jack.” I kissed him again, unable to contain my emotions after the day from hell.

“Why are you crying?” He asked before reaching up and clumsily wiped my tears away with his chubby fingers.

“Because I was worried about you little man.” I lent down to plant another kiss on his forehead and he wrapped his arms around me, snuggling against my chest. I tried to move back but he gave a little moan and forced me to sit beside him on the bed, not that I minded too much. Aaron continued to hold Jack’s hand, all the while a massive grin remained etched on his face, I’d never seen anything like it but I hoped I’d see a lot more of it. I leaned back against the pillow, it was a lot more comfortable than the chair I’d been occupying all day, and I felt sleep making my eyelids heavy. The last thing I remembered before I fell asleep was Jack laying his head on my chest and Aaron pulling a blanket over the two of us.

 


	12. Halloween

**12\. Halloween**

**Marley Prince POV**

“Can we go trick or treating tonight?” Jack asked as we sat around the table eating breakfast, he had got back from hospital the day before yesterday after a thirteen day stay and we were trying to get back to a state of semi- normalcy with Aaron going into work for a few hours while I stayed at home with Jack.

“I don’t know, you’re still poorly.” Aaron chewed his toast thoughtfully; obviously he wasn’t completely at ease with his decision. Jack, who seemed to be able to detect the slightest whiff of indecision in his father, decided that his best bet was to get me onside.

“Marley please, I’ll dress up warm. Please, please, please.” He whined, looking desperately at me.

“It’s up to your Dad.” I tried to sound authoritive but I was just as close to breaking as Aaron was. I mean it was Halloween, apparently it was one of the best holidays for young kids, and it seemed so mean keeping Jack indoors while all the other children were out having fun. Jack sensed my hesitation and decided to try and crack me so we could have a two pronged attack on Aaron; what can I say, he was a smart kid.

“Please, please, please Marley! Spencer could come, although he has to dress up.” He grinned up at me desperately, deciding that Spencer was his best option of getting me on side. The two had been getting on better since Jack had learnt that Spencer had ‘rescued’ Rooster from the car and Spencer had bought him numerous books and toys to keep him entertained when he was in hospital, his caring actions were slowly melting my heart and I was getting scared at how fast I was falling for him. Knowing that anything I said would be an open invitation for him to try pleading again; I just pointed at Aaron and allowed him to make the final choice.

“Ok, here’s the deal, you can go out but you have to wear something warm and we only do a few houses.” Aaron finally decided and was rewarded with a squeal and a one armed hug from the excitable boy who then ran off to find a costume. Aaron smiled and watched him go with shiny eyes; I guessed he was still thinking about how lucky we were that he was up and running around like old times, albeit with one arm in a sling. I pulled my phone out and hit Spencer’s speed dial, I knew how much he enjoyed Halloween and trick and treating was surely the best way to spend it?

“Hey Marls.” I smiled, feeling a warm glow as he said my name. Aaron just rolled his eyes before going to say goodbye to Jack as he headed off for work.

“What are you doing tonight?”

“Um... I haven’t committed myself to anything just yet. I mean, there’s the Edgar Allen Poe shadow puppet theatre or the re-enactment of the 19th century Fantasmagoria. I mean I thought we could do something but then I thought you’d be trick or treating with Jack....” He trailed off, waiting for my reply.

 “Actually he wants you to come with us, although you have to dress up apparently.”

“ _He_ actually wants me there?” Spencer sounded flabbergasted at the idea.

“Yeah, see I told you he would come round. So, you up for it? I mean we won’t be out long so maybe we can hit one of your... fantasmathingys afterwards?”

“Fantasmagoria. And it sounds like a plan, so I guess I’ll see you later then.”

“See you later Baby.” I grinned as I hung up the phone, looking forward to tonight more than I’d ever looked forward to Halloween before. The whole thing used to freak me out when I was a kid and it hadn’t got my better as I’d become an adult; I just didn’t get why people liked to dress up and scare the lives out of each other but apparently I better get used to it seeing as the new boys in my lives all seemed to love it. A second later Jack came running back in and sat on my lap.

“So what is on today’s agenda?” I asked as I wrapped him in my arms, we both knew that he’d be going back to school next Monday and we wanted to make the last few free days we had special; he wanted to enjoy the unique circumstances of being the ‘only’ child at home when everyone else was at school and I was just trying to bury my head in the sand about the amount of work I would have to catch up on when I went back to college.

“Halloween cookies?” He asked hopefully, for some reason that was completely unknown to me, Jack loved baking, and he especially loved my cookies which was even more of a mystery seeing as my cooking skills were not exactly Michelin star level.

“Let’s make some epic cookies, then we can amaze Daddy with our awesome skills!”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

When Aaron came back just before dinner, the house still smelt of burnt cookies from our first attempt at baking. It had been going so well until we got distracted by ‘Alvin and the Chipmunks’ on TV, the first we remembered of them was the smoke billowing into the living room from the kitchen. Luckily the flames from the others were only licking the counter and a quick spurt with the handy fire extinguisher I’d often teased Aaron about in the past put everything right. Take two with the Halloween cookies was a much smoother affair and they looked very tasty; although I wasn’t allowed to eat one until Aaron had had his first. Unfortunately the first thing Aaron noticed was not the sweet taste of our hard work but the smell of the smouldering remains.

“What happened?” He raised an irritable eyebrow at me while cuddling                Jack close to him; while Jack could still do no wrong in his eyes, I apparently was back in the firing line.

“We had a minor mishap with the first batch but I think you’ll find the final lot taste great.”

“Yeah, we saved them for you Daddy. You’re the guest of honour!” Jack giggled as his Dad finally put him down and we headed into the kitchen; all the while I prayed he wouldn’t notice the faint black stain on the counter nearest the oven.  We had laid out the cookies on different plates; we had black cats, bright orange pumpkins and some poor, deformed ghosts. Even if I said so myself, they looked delicious. Aaron chose a pumpkin while Jack went for a black cat and I decided to take pity on a particularly sorry looking ghost, we sat in silence for a minute while we munched away.

“They were delicious. Good job, guys.” We both grinned at each other, pleased with the seal of approval from Aaron on our hard work. 

“Teamwork, right Marley?” Jack turned and flashed me my favourite dimply smile before putting his hand out for a high five. “I’m going to work on my costume; no one come in my room.”

“What?” Aaron looked quizzically. I just laughed as I explained that since the cookies had been decorated he had shut himself in his room to work on his ‘secret’ costume and I was, under no circumstances, to come in. Aaron laughed before telling me how excited Spencer had been about our pending trip out; I had to admit that all day I’d actually found myself looking forward to this evening, my brothers would never believe this, they always used to call me a scaredy-cat when we were younger and I’d stay in doing my homework rather than go out trick or treating. Although they could hardly blame me, where we lived it was mostly a trick on some poor old lady or some huge giants dressed up in masks chasing us down the street.

We still weren’t allowed to see Jack’s costume after dinner; instead we had to wait till Spencer appeared for the grand unveiling. Jack seemed to have all but forgotten his previous irritation with Spencer, in fact he wanted him to come early and show him some more magic tricks. I had to agree with Jack that Spencer’s magic tricks were pure genius, what can I say, I’d always been a sucker for magic. The doorbell rang at half six and Jack raced to open it, poor Spencer really didn’t stand a chance as all 42 pounds of Jack Hotchner rammed into his stomach. I couldn’t help laughing as he stumbled into the hall and desperately tried to regain his balance; once he had he wrapped an arm around Jack and gave me a bemused look from underneath his mask. I shrugged; I guessed his sudden friendliness came from a mixture of Halloween spirit, Spencer’s actions during his hospital stay and Spencer’s Halloween costume. He was wearing a ghoul mask with a thick rope hanging down from his neck and some hideous green hands.

“Don’t you look sexy.” I winked and removed his mask to find he was blushing furiously at my comment; I leaned up to gently kiss his supple lips and felt happiness build up inside me as he responded. I loved how familiar his lips were, after all the practice we’d received they moved in sync with mine as if they were made to be together. As if _we_ were made to be together.

“It’s still gross.” Jack muttered before pulling at our arms to lead us back into the living room where Aaron was waiting, leaning against the fireplace.

“I knew _you’d_ dress up.” Jack told Spencer as he continued to drag us towards his bedroom; Aaron took the incentive and followed up behind us. “Neither of _them_ will.”  

“You’re not dressing up?!” Spencer looked aghast at the idea, even more so than Jack when I’d refused.

“Masks are creepy. End of.” I told him bluntly while he just stared at me incredulously. “Fine. Fine. Fine! I think I have some cat ears somewhere. Maybe a tail. Will that do?” The two of them grinned happily up at me, as if by putting on a pair of cat ears I’d made their day. If I’d known that earlier I would have worn them daily.

“I can’t wait to see this.” Hotch said drily from the corner, a smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“You’re dressing up too.” I told him bluntly, that wiped the smirk right off his face.

“What? No.”

“For your son.”

“Please Daddy! Please, please, please!” Jack began jumping up and down, pulling on Aaron’s sweater.

“I don’t have anything.” He murmured quietly, looking embarrassed. Oh my God he did have some costume hidden away somewhere! I bet it was Lycra!

“Aaron.” I gave him my best ‘parent’ glare that always made Jack do what he was told and, surprisingly, Hotch mumbled something about the back of his wardrobe and left to Jack’s cheers. Jack shut his door to get ready, leaving Spencer and me alone in the hallway. I took his hand and led him into my bedroom which was across the hall from Jack’s. It felt odd bringing a man into my room, I knew I’d spent the night with Spencer in the spare room here and at his but for some reason it felt odd allowing him into my personal space. He seemed to think the same as he stood in the doorway fidgeting with his rope, although as soon as he saw my bookcase he was straight into my room studying it avidly. I began rummaging round in the bottom of my closet for the stuff I was pretty sure I’d packed; I’d bought everything I had at home so I was pretty sure it would be here. I looked up when I heard him muttering under his breath.

“Everything Ok?” I asked as I continued to rummage through my stuff.

“I’m just looking at all the spaces in your collection, so I can fill them for you.” I laughed at his generosity before finally finding what I was looking for; the fluffy cat ears were a little bent and the sequined tail stuck out at an odd angle but they’d do for the evening. While Spencer stared resolutely at my books I changed into a black knit dress and leggings along with my black boots to complete the look. When Spencer eventually turned around he took a sharp intake of breath before leaning forward and sweeping a dark lock off my face.

“What?” I whispered, feeling my face light up as he scrutinised me.

“You look... wow.” He laughed quietly before capturing my lips in a quick embrace. We broke apart when Aaron started calling for Jack in the hallway. The two of us headed out to find Aaron leaning against the wall.

“Oh. My. God. You look so epic.” He growled something that sounded like shut up before fiddling with the pirate hat he was wearing. Jack appeared in the doorway wearing an oversized suit and tie.

“Whoa.” The three of us all looked at each other, wondering who exactly he was trying to be.

“That’s definitely not Spiderman.” Aaron looked at me for clues, but I wasn’t much help.

“He’s not a real superhero.” Jack sighed, as if we were all being simple but even my brain box boyfriend looked flummoxed.

“He’s not?” I asked, wondering what counted as a superhero if it wasn’t flying across buildings on a spider web.

“Okay, I give up. Who are you supposed to be?” Aaron asked curiously.

“I’m you Daddy.” My heart melted as he grinned up at his Father who beamed with pride before pulling him into a hug. As I watched the two together- Aaron’s little G-man wrapped in a tight embrace- I felt glad that fate had bought me here, to witness such a private moment between the two. Spencer wrapped an arm as we walked towards to door, kissing my head tenderly.

“You know what, I think I’m starting to like Halloween.”      

 

 

 


	13. Touch

**13\. Touch**

**Spencer Reid POV**

It had been the best Halloween of my life. Despite my love of the holiday I’d never actually been trick or treating. When I was younger my Father was always too busy to take me and my Mother wasn’t in a position to. So I’d spent every Halloween watching longingly from my bedroom window as my peers ran around in groups collecting candy (my other big love). Regardless of, or maybe because of, the lasting pain those memories left me with I still loved Halloween. While my Mother still lived at home I couldn’t leave her alone to go out; hundreds of people in masks knocking on the door was hardly great for her mental state, so it was only when I went to Caltech I actually managed to do something on Halloween. A slasher movie in a cemetery. It was one of my favourite memories and every year since then I’d gone on Halloween. But never trick or treating, until tonight. Jack had raced along the street in his oversized suit while the three of us ambled along chatting. Marley’s soft hand found mind and squeezed it tightly as we walked along; she looked beautiful in the cat woman outfit, I wasn’t sure what it was about the ears but they made Marley even more attractive (if that was indeed possible). I pulled my hand away from hers so I could wrap my arm around her slender shoulders. She nuzzled against my shoulder, burying her cold red nose into the fabric of my shirt in an attempt to warm up. It was a chilly night with the wind whipping Marley’s hair into a frenzy but the children in their costumes didn’t seem to notice.

 Jack suddenly let out a happy shout and raced up the street to greet a gang of children from his school who had just turned onto a block. Marley let out a small groan as the Mothers greeted Aaron with faux pleasantness but the way they treated Marley left me seething with anger. Some of them, the kindest of the group, simply blanked Marley as if she was invincible. They greeted me as a workmate of Aaron’s, but refused to look at the girl hanging on my arm. The rest were more forceful in their dislike of Marley; some simply stood glancing at Marley as if she was something that belonged on the bottom of their shoe while other unsubtly nudged each other and ‘whispered’ snide comments. Then there was the head of the group, Sally; she reminded him of Alexia Lisbon, all blonde hair and painted nails, even the snide grin was the same. She glared at Marley as if her very existence was a torment.

“Aaron, did I not tell you about my Nanny.” She glared at Marley, obviously the message was meant for Marley but she couldn’t bring herself to address her. Aaron’s jaw was set and his eyes had darkened like they did when he was faced with a vicious unsub. I understood the feeling; I was desperate to yell at them, to tell them that Marley was just as good as them. It was Marley, however, who was holding us back. Literally. She had grabbed onto both of our coats in a silent plea to hold our tongues and let it pass. Years ago in school I would have been just the same. But now? Now, when it was my _girlfriend_ who was being harassed. I wanted to tear them limb from limb, even if I was usually against hitting women.  

“No.” Aaron managed to choke out. How had she not noticed the death glare that had zoomed in on her?

“Oh well you should know what she was like, after all she was forever hanging out with _your_ Nanny.” _She has a name._ My mind snapped angrily. “She went out on a date, can you believe it? I mean who does she think she is? Bringing a man into my house! She used to be so good. I don’t know where she got those ideals from?” Her eyes swirled onto Marley’s hand, firmly planted in mine.

“I don’t really see a problem with that.” Aaron answered curtly as he moved subtly to position himself in front of Marley and me. In the last few minutes Marley seemed to have shrunk into my side, clutching onto my shirt. I hated them for changing my usually bubbly girlfriend into a cowering wreck.

“Of course _you_ don’t.” She sneered. “It’s because of people like you that I have these problems. You should be teaching that girl respect. Instead you allow her to go gallivanting around with all sorts of men. It’s disgusting. She’s disgusting, and…”

“Now wait a minute!” Aaron yelled, unable to hold back a moment longer. Marley groaned into my side and let out a pleading _“Aaron”_ but he ignored her. “She’s ten times the woman you’ll ever be.” He snarled angrily. He looked like he was going to continue his rant but Jack and his friends came running back, to the great displeasure of Sally, Jack hugged Marley’s waist. As the group headed off, Sally loudly whispered “White trash” in Marley’s direction.

That was it.

“What the hell is your problem?!” I exploded angrily. I’d stood by before when Marley had asked me too, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to stand by while they insulted her anymore. They all stopped to stare at me, aghast that I could have spoken to them in such a way.

“How dare you…”

“No, how dare _you!_ Marley, _Marley_ not _the Nanny,_ is kind and sweet and compassionate. You may have money and social standing but that means nothing! So you can all just leave her the hell alone!” They stared at me in horrified silence before beating a hasty retreat up the road away from the deranged, gun toting FBI agent.  I turned back to the others, suddenly nervous that they’d be angry at my outburst. Both looked shocked but then Marley threw herself at me and kissed me with such passion and ferocity that I was nearly thrown backwards. My hands wrapped around her supple body and pulled her against me as her tongue darted out to force its way into mine. A tiny part of my brain registered that I was stood in the middle of a busy street making out with my girlfriend while our boss and young son stood nearby but the rest of me was just glad that we were there together. She was mine and I was hers. When we eventually pulled apart her eyes were burning darker than before, a fiery black light of desire that I’d never seen before.

“That was _so_ sexy.” She gave a sexy smile before planting a delicate kiss to my lips. We reluctantly pulled apart to find that Aaron had ushered Jack away up the street towards some more houses. Although we’d acquired a group of young teenage boys who were gawking at us, they’d probably been heckling earlier but I’d been too busy to notice. I blushed a deep crimson at the scene we’d created but then I looked back at Marley and couldn’t bring myself to care too much. It didn’t take too long to catch up with Aaron who was leaning against a white picket fence while Jack went to get sweets.

“Aaron?” Marley looked slightly apprehensive as we approached but he turned and flashed us one of his rare smiles. Although having said that the more time he spent with Marley, the happier he seemed.

 “Mm?”

 “Thanks for everything you said.” She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek.

“They deserved it.” He shrugged off her thanks as Jack came jumping down the stairs, anxious to show off the cool Halloween comic book the old lady had just given him.

We left Aaron and Jack to curl up indoors with a movie, but rather than heading to the Fantasmagoria we went straight back to mine. After the kiss we’d both wanted more and spending hours sat watching the Fantasmagoria, while usual the highlight of my Halloween, suddenly seemed like an inordinate waste of time. So we’d nervously headed back to my apartment, hands clutched together between us so my knuckles brushed against her leg with each step while her other hand clutched my elbow, her fingers pressing down on the pressure point there. Our breath came in short gasps and every so often we’d share longing sidelong glances that heated my face and made me drag her along a little quicker.  

However, despite our brazen display in the street when we were alone together it became a nerve wracking experience. I’d pulled out a bottle of wine, more for something to do with my hands than a desire to drink, although we still downed a few glasses, laughing gently as we both blushed furiously. The atmosphere started to lighten up, however, as we started mindlessly chatting. Marley lay back against me so I could wrap my arms around her waist, settling them under her black shirt against her soft skin. After a while she moved to straddle my lap, mouthing at my collarbone while I trailed kisses down the side of her face and into her hair.

“Do you want to…?” I trailed off, jerking my head in the direction of the bedroom, anxious that I was overstepping the mark.

“Thought you’d never ask,” She smirked before pulling herself off me and holding out her hand. I laced my fingers through hers and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. My heart beating about a mile a minute as we moved slowly from the apartment to my bedroom; clothes creating a trail like breadcrumbs behind us so we could find our way back. Marley fell backwards onto our bed and dragged me down with her. I kissed my way along her neck, fumbling with few remaining items of clothing as she wrapped her hands in the silky strands of my hair. 

“I’ve never….” I trailed off, embarrassed to reveal that I was still a virgin in my late twenties. Morgan would have a field day if he knew that, although I guess he had his suspicions seeing as he had given me a condom as a present for every birthday since I’d known him.

“Neither have I.” She whispered, her hot breath tickling my lips.

“Really?” I opened my eyes to stare at her in shock. “I was waiting for the right man.” She explained before silencing any further questions with another kiss on my lips. I felt a burst of pride bubbling inside me that Marley had decided I was the right man for her. The feeling quickly dissipated as lightening streaked through my body from the feel of Marley against me. Her skin searing a path across my skin as she caressed me.

The perfect ending to a perfect day.

 When I awoke the next morning, the pale pink sunlight was barely fingering the ivory curtains. Marley had rolled away from me in the night so that the lean curves of her sharp shoulder blades were illuminated by the rosy glow. I watched her body rhythmically rising and falling. I tried to resist reaching out and stroking her skin but it was so tempting. The sheets were wrapped around her waist but the rest of her body was naked, her creamy ivory skin contrasting her raven black locks which fell like a waterfall around her neck.  She stirred and subconsciously moved back against me. I wrapped one arm around her to help drag her back the last few millimetres until we were flush against each other. I buried my head in the glossy curls and breathed in her unique scent. Happiness bubbled inside of me as I stared at the girl in my arms. I loved her. I would do anything to keep her safe.

Little did I know that in a house over two thousand miles, in an area of the country I’d never visited, a violent unsub was being created. An unsub that would stop at nothing to take the love of  my life away from me. 


	14. Worry

**14\. Worry**

**Marley POV**

Perfect. It was the only way I could describe waking up with my naked boyfriend pressed against me. The warm weight of his arm on my abdomen made me feel safe and secure. I snuggled back against his lean body. Sensing I was awake he kissed my neck, his sharp incisors grazing my skin as his hand moved to rub my hip bone. I turned around in his embrace so I could see his hazel eyes, alight with life like I’d never seen them before. The usually dominant brown hues had relinquished their grasp to allow the green tones to glow, making his eyes look brighter than I’d ever seen them before. He smiled before leaning forward to kiss my lips. I loved his kisses; I would walk through hell and back just to feel his lips on mine.

“Last night was amazing.”

“Eighty per cent of people regret their first time.” Spencer stated bluntly. Hell. That wasn’t exactly what I was hoping for. He regretted it. I felt tears burn my eyes as the rejection stung. I quickly sat up, mumbling about leaving and trying to see where I’d left my clothes.

“Wait. Wait!” He grabbed my wrist in an attempt to pull me back down but I tried to force him off.

“It’s fine, I’ve got to go. I…” I needed to get out before he saw me break down in tears. How could I have misread the situation so badly? I’d thought he’d be as cheerful as I was. Evidently I was wrong.  

“Wait! I meant that seventy six per cent of people believe that being with the right one affected their choice. They felt comfortable losing their virginity because they trusted the other person. That was what I was trying to articulate, admittedly exceptionally badly, that I felt comfortable with you. Safe. And I’m really glad that I have an eidetic memory to remember that. It was perfect.”

“Really.” I bit my lip at the compliment while he leaned forward to kiss me again. We fell back onto the bed, Spencer letting out a groan as his legs got bent underneath him. We fumbled around until her got comfortable and then just lay curled up together. I would have been quite happy not to move or morning but Aaron had other ideas. The loud vibrating of Spencer’s mobile on his bedside table pulled us out of our warm cocoon. Spencer reached out and pulled the phone from its charger. I could tell the case was bad from the look of sheer horror as he pulled himself away from me and began throwing his clothes on. I did the same, knowing that if it was this bad Aaron would need me back ASAP.

“We need to go.” Spencer told me as soon as he hung up. I was trying to be quick but my shirt had disappeared somewhere in his living room so I’d had to rummage through his wardrobe for something to wear. “Aaron said he’s taking Jack with him to the BAU so as not to waste time.”

“Is it that bad?”

“It’s pretty horrendous. Six children are dead and another is missing.” I decided not to ask how they’d died. I was too afraid of the answer. The car journey was quiet, both of us locked onto the horror of the situation. I kept thinking about Jack, how easily it could have been Jack who was dead or missing. The thought sent a shiver down my spine.  

“Where is it? Where are you going?”

“Seattle.” At least it was far away. Jack was safe here with me. I knew that was callous but he was my main concern. He reached over and brushed his long fingers against my clenched fists. I turned my hand over to stroke his soft finger. He squeezed back before returning his hand to the steering wheel as he manoeuvred a tricky left turn. Once we left the car we kept a decent amount of space between us, trying not to make our relationship too obvious to the numerous people who nodded their greetings to Spencer as we hurried quickly into the burrow that was Quantico. I’d never been to their place of work before and couldn’t help but staring around in awe at the official building. Although I felt a shiver going up my spine when we passed the wall with the photos of deceased agents. I found it strange that anyone would want to work somewhere where an entire wall was needed to hold pictures of their deceased peers. Each to their own.

Spencer kept walking briskly and I had to run to catch up. Following him up the steps that led towards an open door with Morgan standing by it. He turned on our approach and nodded towards us, that was when I knew how desperately bad things were. I mean, here we were handing him enough jesting material for a month but he didn’t even raise a smile. I wrapped my arms around my waist as we hurried into the conference room where Jack was sat on Aaron’s lap looking tired from being woken up so early. The others all looked tense, none even acknowledging our entrance apart from Jack who threw himself off Aaron and wrapped himself around my knees.

“Thanks for picking him up.” Aaron replied curtly, my cue to leave. Jack said a quick goodbye to his Dad before grabbing my hand and dragging me out the room, the door of which was promptly shut behind us. I felt worry gnaw at my gut at the extreme behaviour the team was expressing; even Jack seemed to have picked up on the tension that could be cut with a blunt knife in the bull pen. He clung onto the hem of my jacket forcing me to shuffle along at an odd angle to keep from hitting him with my knee. I allowed one hand to wander down and stroke his glossy honey coloured hair, my mind thinking of the poor children Spencer was out saving. It made me sick to my stomach to think what humanity could do to each other, what a man, or woman for that matter, could do to a defenceless child.

“Can we have breakfast now?” Jack asked quietly, still clinging to my coat.

“Anywhere you want.” I smiled down at him before pulling him up into my arms. He was getting heavier every day, soon he’d have to walk and I’d be without my comfort blanket. But, for now, I could cuddle him close and pray that he’d never have to endure what those boys were going through.

We ended up having breakfast in Spencer and Aaron’s favourite coffee shop. The smell of freshly brewed coffee and warm pastries calmed my aching nerves, as did watching Jack try to use the end of a fork to soothe the itching underneath his cast. He looked up at me with his Father’s stern glare as I giggled, but his irritation was placated as I pushed the remnants of my muffin towards him. Usually I would have gulped down the tasty treat but my stomach was in knots and I couldn’t quite explain why. I guessed it was the case; there was something horrific about child murder and the way the team were acting hadn’t helped. I sighed into my coffee, knowing that today was going to be painful and there was nothing I could do about that. So, I decided that I might as well make today nice for Jack; it was either that or the two of us spend the day staring at the four walls of the apartment.

 After much deliberation Jack decided that he wanted to spend the day at the Smithsonian because Spencer had told him about all the cool things there was to do there. We headed to the gleaming white dome of the National History Museum, while I’d never been there Spencer never stopped going on about the place so I knew it would be pretty spectacular. He didn’t disappoint me; I walked in to see a twenty meter stone face looking down at me. It was breath-taking. Jack let out an excited squeak before grabbing my hand and dragging me towards the grand figure, regally standing in the centre of the lobby. We stood underneath the imposing figure and I suddenly shuddered, something about the blank, emotionless face filled me with fear as I was reminded of the unsub the team was off chasing. Luckily Jack was feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of intricate artefacts in the lobby alone, so we quickly moved onto the next must see item.

Hours later after floating through the halls of wonderment we were in the gift shop looking for something for Aaron because he hadn’t come on our ‘family day out.’ I wasn’t exactly sure what Aaron was going to do with an inspirational magnet with a picture of a dead dinosaur on but I was sure he would treasure it in some way. Spencer also received a key ring of the Easter Island head, I wasn’t sure it was the best omen but I let Jack get it anyway. Jack himself wanted _“The big book of Dinosaurs”_ so that he could learn all the facts before Spencer got back and surprise him with facts. I beamed, glad that Jack was really starting to like Spencer, and agreed to buy the book for him, even though I knew it would mean we’d spend the next few nights reading the book to him. I bought a postcard to send to my Dad, I thought he’d get a kick out of seeing some of the sights that made up my new home town. When I was still living at home I often spent hours staring up at the grand T-rex effigy in the lobby of the American Museum of natural history; it had been a small oasis in my life, a place where I could sit and think without interruptions from one of my boisterous brothers. The queue for the register was about a mile long and Jack wanted to go back to look at the books but I refused. My Father’s words echoing in my ear: _“It only takes a second.”_  He used to say that every time I took one of my brothers out unaccompanied by an adult; I was _never_ to let them out of my sight, even for a second. Because that is all it took. I shook my head, wishing this case wasn’t getting to me as much as it was. I was sure I wasn’t the only one wishing this case would be over soon.  

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I’d been expecting the call for some time. Aaron called every night when he was away to say goodnight and when he was working a particularly hard case the calls increased in frequency and duration. So when it got to eight o’clock, Jack’s bedtime, and there hadn’t been a single call I got worried. Jack kept looking anxiously at the phone, he too wanted to talk to his Dad and the later it got the more restless he became. When it got to half past and there was still no call I felt my stomach drop, Aaron would _never_ not call his son. He knew how worried Jack got when he was away so he always checked in with us, even if it was just for a few minutes. Jack was beside himself with worry, clinging to my side and looking anxiously at the phone. Unable to hold out any longer I grabbed the phone and dialled Aaron’s number.

No answer.

 

 


	15. Time

**15\. Time**

**Marley POV**

I would love to stay that I stayed calm for Jack’s sake. Unfortunately that would be one of the biggest lies I ever told. I managed to take a deep calming breath and dialled Spencer’s number but when the call went straight to voicemail my entrails turned to ice. Jack seemed to pick up on my nerves as he clung onto my arm, sharp nails biting into my skin. He let out whimpers; I could tell from the way he gulped hungrily at the air that he was stealing himself for hysterics. I should have stayed calmed and told him that everything would be alright; nothing would happen to Daddy because Daddy was invincible. But he wasn’t. I kept thinking back to the broken man in the hospital as we’d watched Jack struggle for life. The idea of something happening to him was unimaginable. He was my surrogate Father; yes he could be a right pain and had the sense of humour of a wounded grizzly bear, but to me he encompassed safety, reliability and friendship. _It might not be him. It might be one of the others…. Spencer._ Oh God, not Spencer! I let out a groan, losing my lover would be just as torturous as losing Aaron. I loved Spencer; I adored everything about him from the way he alphabetised his books to the way he had held me tightly to his naked chest after we’d made love. 

“Daddy!”  Jack let out a pathetic wail as fat tears slid down his cheeks. “I want Daddy!”

“I know baby.” I pulled him onto my lap despite his wiggled protests and began rocking him backwards and forwards as he sobbed into my chest. I rubbed his back and hummed a soothing rhyme; hideous memories of my Mother doing the self-same thing triggered a lump in my throat. I wanted a Mother. Not specifically my Mother just _a_ Mother. I seemed to have Father figures coming out my ears but I was still lacking the warmth that came from a Mother’s smile. Even Jack had me. Although, right now I wasn’t doing the best job of being a Mom. I wondered what Haley would make of my attempts at holding her family together. _Her family._ That was what Garcia always called the team. _Garcia._ How could I have been so stupid? I leant over to where I’d thrown the phone in anger, still rubbing my crying boy. I doubted Garcia would answer her mobile right now but when I’d first moved in Aaron had given me a list of emergency numbers, Garcia’s work number being one of them. I bit my lip nervously as the phone rand on and on and on and on and…

“Morgan? Please tell me they’re ok!”

“What’s happened?” I felt like I’d been punched in the gut as all the air was expelled from my lungs.

“Marley, I can’t really talk now…”

“Just tell me if Aaron and Spencer are ok? Please!” Jack let out a whimper against my chest and I took a deep breath before continuing quietly. “He hasn’t called Jack.”

“There’s a bit of a situation. A… a hostage situation. Prentiss… Hotch and Reid are in there.” I bit down on my lip from crying out and alarming Jack further. Why couldn’t they stay out of trouble? What if… what if… _NO._ I would _not_ go there. “Marley, I’m sorry I really need to go and help. As soon as I know anything I’ll call you.”

“Thanks Garcia.”

“It’ll be ok baby, they’ve been through worse.” Unsurprisingly that didn’t make me feel a whole lot better. I hung up but I didn’t take my phone away from ear straight away; as if I could hear what was happening through the plastic brick. Jack looked up at me with glistening brown eyes, desperate for some good news about his Daddy.      

“Daddy’s… Daddy’s helping someone out… so he can’t… he can’t, um… come to the phone right… right this minute. But… he told Auntie Penelope to tell you… tell you that he lov… loves you very much and he’ll… he’ll see you soon.” I took a deep breath to steady myself but thankfully Jack didn’t seem to notice. He just nodded thoughtfully before sniffling and burying his head into my shoulder. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.” I picked him up, grunting under the weight of my boy as I agreed to his mumbled plea to sleep in my room. I was actually looking forward to that familiar presence in the night, when I knew I wouldn’t be sleeping much. I lay him down on my pale pink sheets and pulled the duvet up around his chin, tucking it around his body like my Dad used to when I was sad. _You’re always safe in this little cocoon, Baby._

“Can we read a story?” He asked timidly, trying to stifle a yawn. I nodded and hurried across the hall to his wooden bookcase, full to bursting, I tried to find one that Jack would enjoy but my mind wouldn’t formulate a positive response so I merely grabbed the shortest looking book and headed back to my room where Jack was cuddled under the duvet looking expectantly at me. I could see the inner conflict written on his face; he wanted to believe that his Daddy was safe but he was clever enough to see the fear written across my face. I tried to arrange my face into a mask of passivity but I doubted it worked. I lay down on my side of the bed with his head, surprisingly heavy for a boy of his age, in the crook of my elbow. I read _“The giraffe, the Pelly and me”;_ he’d got really into Roald Dahl books, we’d read the entire set and were now making our way back through them. Jack took longer than usual to go to school, we read several books and I sang all his favourite songs until I was nearly shaking with the exertion of keeping a straight face and not giving into the temptation to start crying with worry. Eventually after five rounds of “Your song” his quiet snoring alerted me to the fact he’d finally fallen asleep. I tentatively slipped my arm out from under his head and headed out the room; leaving the door open so I could hear him when he woke up. I pulled my phone from my jean pocket and thumbed through my contacts to find his number. Unsurprisingly there was no answer but I’d expected that.

_“Hello this is Dr. Spencer Reid, I can’t come to the phone right now but leave me a message and I’ll get back to you.”_

“Hey Baby, it’s me. I just wanted to tell you that I… I love you and really need you to come home safely.”  I shut off the phone and leaned my head against the cool hallway wall. I pressed the phone back to my ear as it rung for the next person on my worry list.

 _“This is Aaron Hotchner_ ; _leave a message after the tone.”_ Stoic, blunt, Aaron all over.

“Hey, I just wanted to tell you that we’re both worried about you but Jack’s fine and we can’t wait to see you when you get home. Bye.” _Dad._ I mouthed silently, hoping he knew how much he meant to me. I slid down the wall and curled up on the floor opposite my door so I could see Jack’s sleeping form. The sudden vibrations of my phone shocked me so much I nearly dropped it and had to perform an odd dance to get the black metal open as Spencer’s name flashed across the screen in luminous letters.

“Baby thank God, I was so worried!”

“Your baby is lying naked by my feet, but I’ll talk to you. _Honey._ ”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

**Spencer Reid POV**

I wanted to scream as he spoke to my girlfriend. He smiled down at me; enjoying the angry growl I was involuntarily emitting which joined Hotch’s guttural snarls. The four of us were chained together in the middle of the floor, Prentiss on my left, Hotch behind me and Jason, the five year old boy we’d been trying to save was on my right. Robert Hunter was trying to make Jason as uncomfortable as possible by putting him between two males; unfortunately he hadn’t reckoned on Hotch’s caring nature towards the boy. He had to be quiet about it; he was walking a fine line between making Hunter sweat and looking after Jason. He whispered to him about playing soccer and how his parents couldn’t wait to see him. It seemed to calm the boy down who had started leaning into Hotch for comfort.

We’d been given two addresses for Hunter so the team had split up. Hunter had ambushed us individually as we moved through the house until we’d ended up tied together in the musky basement with the shivering boy between us. We’d spent hours tied together in the basement, my arms aching from the tight blistering metal clinging to my and holding them behind my back in an unnatural position. Dried blood clung to my forehead from the deep wound in my forehead where the crowbar had connected with my sensitive skin. Rossi was trying to reason with Hunter through a satellite phone they had managed to get into the building but Hunter was too busy gloating about what he would do to us. Things had been bad enough but then Aaron’s trousers had started vibrating.

He groaned and turned to me, fear in his eyes. _Marley_ he mouthed. Hunter bent down and pulled Hotch’s phone into view, he stared at the name on the screen before grinning.

“Is she your bitch? You know, Marley, the dog?” He laughed at his own joke before letting the phone clatter to the floor by his feet. “Bet she’s worrying about you.” I had no doubt that she was, it must be past Jack’s bedtime by now and Hotch always, _always_ , called Jack before bed. The phone finally stopped moving along the floor, but a second later mine started up. The look of malicious joy on his hooked figures turned my entrails to ice that settled like lead in the pit of my stomach.

“You little bastard! Sleeping with your team mate’s girl. Wow that is low, maybe we should say hello to her?” I bit my lip, a sudden desperation to put him straight that she was _my_ girlfriend pushing its way up my throat. It wouldn’t help the situation. Luckily Jason began coughing and Hunter was distracted long enough for the phone to go quiet. I hoped she wouldn’t ring again; I didn’t want him talking to her, polluting her mind with his bile which Jason was getting in his ear at this little minute. Hotch snarled at him, pushing his body forward so Jason had somewhere to hide behind. Hotch seemed to have gotten over the usual inhibition of being naked but I still had my legs tucked under my chin in a bit to preserve some semblance of dignity. Prentiss was doing much the same thing by my side, although I tried not to let my eyes wander towards her too often, I didn’t think she’d appreciate me seeing her naked. 

Jason had started crying, begging for his Mom while Hunter stood gloating over us. I wanted to do something to help but I hadn’t got a clue what to do for the best. Prentiss was trying to reason with him using all we knew from the profile but Hunter seemed unfazed. He had every right to be. He had three FBI agents and a small boy trapped in a basement with no way for anyone else to get in to help us.

My hope that he’d forget about Marley faded as he picked up Hotch’s phone and began fingering the screen looking for the illicit secrets it held. A few seconds later he let out a low whistle of appreciation.

“You son obviously inherited your wife’s looks.” He turned the screen around to show us an image of Marley squeezing Jack close on Halloween night. “He’s just my type. If he was here now, God the things I would do to him…” He let the sentiment hang in the air while the hand that wasn’t clutching the phone forced its way into his pants. If I’d thought Hotch was angry before, I wasn’t prepared for the look of pure unadulterated fury that marred his features. The look reminded me of finding him after Haley’s death, only this time there was none of the sadness just a desire to kill the bastard in front of us. He thrust forward, blindly trying to assault the man who’d threatened his son. The motion threw the rest of us off balance until we ended up in a heap on the floor. Hunter let out a bark of laughter as we tried to right ourselves, Hotch still growling like a revving engine. Hunter continued looking through the photos, every time he came to a new picture of Jack he explained in grotesque details of what he wanted to do to him. I knew that Hotch would never be able to look at them again without seeing his son being abused by the man in front of us. I hated him with every fibre of my being. He was just going into minute detail about why Jack’s football uniform turned him on when the police phone rung.

“Hello agent Rossi. We’re just having a nice conversation about your teammate’s son if you care to come down and join us?” He laughed. God I hated his laugh. I wanted to slam that smug face against the concrete wall repeatedly until his face was a bloody pulp. The scale of my anger scared me, but what could I do? He was threatening Jack, no one threatened Jack unless they wanted six people with guns and one ferocious lioness of a Nanny to come after them. My phone began vibrating, jumping wildly along the wooden desk while Hunter continued to mock Rossi, then Hotch’s started up.  She was getting desperate. Hunter turned back to the table as he hung up.

“Well look at that, she left a message.” He smirked before putting Hotch’s phone on speaker.

 _“Hey, I just wanted to tell you that we’re both worried about you but Jack’s fine and we can’t wait to see you when you get home. Bye.”_ Marley’s voice cracked at the end, I could imagine her biting her lip and wrapping her arms around her waist in an attempt at comforting herself. I wanted to hug her and tell her that we were OK but that was a lie. He’d get bored of us soon and then we’d be in trouble.

“Let’s see what she says about you.” Hunter was loving the reactions he was provoking in us, we needed to keep poker faces right now but he knew all the right bottoms to press and unbeknownst to her, Marley was giving him even more ammunition.  

 _“Hey Baby, it’s me. I just wanted to tell you that I… I love you and really need you to come home safely.”_ I stared in shock at my phone. The usual stream of continual babble in my mind stopped dead at her words _I love you._ I wanted to hear her say them again and again, but with no trace of sadness or worry in her voice. I wanted to see her smiling as she said those magical, healing words, sealed with a kiss. Hunter whistled, bringing me back to our present predicament. He still held my phone in the air but now it was ringing. Bastard.

 “Baby thank God, I was so worried!” Marley’s voice crackled over the line.

“Your baby is lying naked by my feet, but I’ll talk to you. Honey.” He grinned devilishly at me, knowing the pain he was inflicting. Hotch’s snarls had returned.

“Let them go.” He voice had taken on her ‘parenting’ tone and I couldn’t help feeling pride bubble in me that she was holding her own against Hunter.

“Now where would be the fun in that? I’ve been looking at pictures of your little boy, we’ve been discussing what I would do if I ever met him. Would you like to hear?” I could hear Marley suck in air at the comment.

“Hang up, Marley.” Hotch growled angrily. 

“Listen up, because I’m only going to say this once you bastard. You will never, _ever,_ get anywhere near my boy because you’d have to go through me. Do you want to know the things I’d do to you if you ever came within an inch of my boy because frankly the list of sick things I’ve got lined up for you would rival anything you threw at us.” Her voice had turned Hotch-like, hard as marble but with a razor sharp edge that warned she was taking no prisoners. Hunter looked shocked, I guess he'd expected a meek and mild women, like his Mother, who would roll over and take the abuse from a man. Guess again.

“Liar. Because I’m about to kill a five year old boy, some FBI bitch and then move onto your two lovers. Something tells me you haven’t got anything like that planned.” He slammed the phone down and angrily grabbed the gun and bought it round towards us. 

 

 


	16. Blood

**16\. Blood.**

**Spencer Reid POV**

The black plastic was zipped up over the lifeless body. The paramedic turned and offered me a sympathetic smile but I turned away. Not wanting his sympathy. Morgan appeared and put a hand on my shoulder.

“It’ll be OK, Kid.” I shrugged him off angrily. How could he think this was alright? He was dead, nothing could change that. I rubbed my neck only to feel his dried blood caked on my skin. My stomach turned over and I leaned against the wall trying to catch my breath and not throw up what little food was left in my stomach.

“How’s Prentiss?” I asked once I felt confidence enough that I could open my mouth without retching.

“They’re bandaging her up now. She was lucky. Reid… have you called her yet?” I shook my head, I knew she’d ask about everyone else and I didn’t want to tell her. Morgan stayed by my side as I leant against the rough red brickwork of the Hunter residence. My clothes had been taken for evidence so I was wearing Morgan’s jacket and some anonymous pants, they were uncomfortable but it was better than the coldness of my naked body. I pushed myself away from the wall when I could trust myself to walk without quivering and moved towards the SUV that Rossi was leaning against. The passenger door was open and Hotch was perched on the seat, wrapped in a blanket. The part of his chest that was visible was caked in the same blood that I was: Jason’s.

Everything had gone in slow motion after he’d hung up the phone. He’d pulled the gun around to face Jason and before we could do anything to stop him he’d shot the little boy in cold blood. Without taking a second to adjust he turned the gun towards Emily. It was that which saved her; Jason’s now dead weight dragged us all to the side meaning the bullet only grazed her arm rather than her chest. Before he had time to fire another, more accurate round Morgan had stormed in and shot him. Justice of some sort. He quickly unchained us and Hotch immediately grabbed Jason and held him close, there was no hope, no need for a medic. It drew flashbacks of Haley’s death as he held the limp lifeless body to his bare chest. Refusing to let go until Rossi came down and prised him away with whispered words. Rossi had covered Hotch in a blanket and led him out of the basement. They’d been sat in the SUV ever since.

“Are you OK?” Hotch asked bluntly as he stopped in front of him. He could tell that the walls were coming up around his boss; he spent his time around the team pretending to be fearless so one the rare occasions he lost his cool he tried to compensate by becoming completely unreachable.  I shrugged in response to his question, there was nothing to say.

“Hotch,” Rossi started tentatively. “Do you want to spend the night here, get some rest or go home now?”

“Now. I want to see Jack.” Hotch leaned his head against the doorframe. I knew I needed to call Marley but I couldn’t bear to tell her that he’d killed Jason. But I also knew how cruel it was to keep her hanging, she didn’t even know if we were alive or dead. My phone was also in evidence so I walked away from the broken Hotch to where Morgan was watching a safe distance away. As if reading my mind he pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it to me. I found her name in the contacts and dialled her number. She picked up on the first ring.

“Morgan, _please._ ” God she sounded atrocious as if she’d spent the last hour sobbing.

“It’s me baby.” She let out a wail and began crying. I thought I could hear her whispering “thank God” over and over again. Guilt bubbled like a corrosive acid in my stomach, burning my insides as I realised I could have put her out of her misery a long time ago.

“Is everyone else Ok? Aaron….”

“Hotch… Aaron is fine. He just wants to see Jack. We’ll be back in a few hours.” I purposely avoided honestly answering the question.

“And the others?” She was good.

“A bullet grazed Emily but she’ll be fine. Jason… Jason didn’t make it.” She let out a howl of pain and started crying again. “It’s ok baby, it was quick and he… he didn’t feel a thing.” That was a total lie, but it was all I had to make her feel better.

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry.”

“Hush baby, it’ll be ok, I’ll be home soon.” I didn’t know how that would make anything better but I knew that personally the idea of holding her in my arms was the only thing keeping me upright and I hoped it was the same for her.

“It’s my fault isn’t it? It’s because of what I said to him on the phone, I baited him and now that little boy’s dead!” She let out a low moan and I heard her gasping for breath, she sounded almost hysterical.

“No, no its not! Marley whether you’d talked to him or not he would have killed us. That was his end game, we all knew it. The only thing you did was give him an audience to torture.” She was still crying on the other end so I doubted she believed me but that didn’t mean I wasn’t going to try and convince her otherwise. Hunter had taken so much- all those boy’s lives before we’d even got here, Jason’s life, Hotch’s escapism in Jack’s photos, Jack’s innocence- he wasn’t about to take Marley’s belief in herself too.  “I love you.”

“You heard that?”

“Yeah, it’s kept me going.” I told her honestly.

“I love you, too. I’ve got to go Jack’s woken up.”

“Wait.” I said quickly before she had time to shut the phone off. “Let Hotch talk to him, I think it’ll help.” With that I hurried back to where Hotch was still sat in the SUV.

“Reid?” Hotch sighed.

“There’s someone who wants to speak to you.” Hotch took the phone looking less than enthusiastic about speaking to anyone.

“Marley.” He sounded almost angry when he said her name, but he was hardly going to sound great after what had happened was he? “Buddy! What are you doing up so late?” His face instantly lit up, well as much as it was going to under the circumstances. Rossi nodded at me and I felt a burst of pride that I’d done something to make my boss happy after everything he’d just witnessed. Rossi motioned for us to move away from his conversation.

“I’ve called headquarters and we can leave in an hour.” I nodded, suddenly feeling exhausted and looking forward to the plush leather of the jet couch although I doubted I would sleep too much. “Did Hunter say something about Marley?”

“What? Why?”

“I just mentioned her earlier and he got so angry.” Rossi trailed off and bit his lip, looking concerned for his best friend.

“He called her and threatened Jack so she told him she’d hurt him and then he started shooting.” I gave him the reader’s digest version of what had happened down in the basement. I felt sick though, how could Hotch blame her for what happened? Hunter would have tried to kill us whatever; Marley just gave him an audience.

“He’s not thinking straight right now, Reid, just let him sleep and see Jack then it’ll be fine.” Rossi put a Fatherly hand on my shoulder before heading back towards Hotch. I hoped he was right, the last thing any of us needed was the two of them coming to blows.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I’d tried to sleep on the jet but every time I closed my eyes Jason’s limp body in Hotch’s arms flashed across my vision until in the end I pushed myself off the couch and headed to the front of the jet where Hotch was curled up in one of the chairs, file open in front of him. I sat across from him but he didn’t even lift his head to acknowledge my arrival. Suddenly I wasn’t sure what to do; part of me wanted to try and sort things between Hotch and Marley but the other part of me was well aware that getting involved could affect both my personal and work relationships.

“Don’t Reid.” Hotch almost pleaded. I stayed quiet, breaking the rule about inter-team profiling to try and work out how I should play it. Hotch was emotionally and physically drained, and like a wounded lion he needed someone to lash out at. This time it fell to Marley to bear that burden.

“It would have happened whether she called or not, you _know_ that.”

“She riled him, if she’d kept her cool than Jason would still be alive.” He ground out, grabbing the arm rests for support.

“Come on Hotch! I know Jason reminded her of Jack but…”

“Who the hell do you think you are?! I am your boss, just because we’ve been spending more time together outside of work does not give you the right to talk to me like this.” His voice had taken on the same authoritative tone he’d used with Hunter earlier. It unnerved me.

“Do you remember after the Owen Savage case when we talked on the plane? You told me that it was none of your business but you thought I should catch the end of the movie. Well that’s what I’m doing now; what you and Marley do is none of my business but before you make any rash decisions then you need to remember how much she cares about you. You need to remember the night of the crash and how she helped the two of you. You need to remember that what she did tonight, whether it was right or wrong was done out of love for you. That’s all I’m going to say.” With that I stood up and hoped he’d listen to me. Once I’d returned to my earlier seat I risked a peak in his direction and found he’d shifted away in his seat, obscuring my view of his face, the window into his soul. Who knew whether he’d listen to me?

For the entire Hotchner family I hoped so.      


	17. Crossroads

**17\. Crossroads**

I wanted to see Marley, to hold her in my arms and breathe in the familiar scent of apples and honey that made me feel so at home. Unfortunately I wasn’t sure that was possible after what had happened on the jet, Hotch hadn’t so much as glanced in my direction since our exchange and with the jet coming into land I doubted that would change. Everyone was slowly beginning to wake up; Rossi had moved to sit beside Hotch but neither was speaking, Prentiss and JJ were curled up together in two of the chairs and Morgan had come to sit next to me.

“I heard you’re… exchange with Hotch.” I sighed, if Morgan had the whole jet probably had. That was hardly going to help matters. “Spending time with Marley’s sure made you brave.” He tried to lighten the mood but the stoic stone of my face told him not to bother. “It’ll be fine Reid.”

“I don’t know what she’d do if he kicked her out.”

“Reid, come on he _wouldn’t,_ he loves her like a daughter. He’s in a bad place right now but once he’s had a good night’s sleep he’ll be fine.” I was glad Morgan had so much faith but I wasn’t so sure, he’d looked so angry when I’d spoken to him; I was almost scared to leave Marley alone with him. Oh, I knew he would never _ever_ lay a finger on her. That wasn’t what worried me; his words would wound her in ways our Unsubs could never even contemplate. I sighed and leaned against the wall of the jet, Morgan put a friendly arm on my shoulder and I smiled at him.

“Thanks.”

“No problem, Pretty boy. You look exhausted; when we touch down get straight home and sleep. I’ll even drive you.”

“I want to see Marley, but… I doubt Hotch’ll let me.” Morgan sighed; he could offer me no comfort on that front.

“Why don’t you just go home, get some rest then go see her in the morning.” I nodded; I didn’t really have any other choice.

“I guess I could do with a lift.” He nodded as we felt the jet begin its bumpy descent.

 I was reluctant to leave the jet, hoping against hope that Hotch would come to my side and offer me a lift. Unfortunately, although unsurprisingly, he was the first off the jet and by the time Morgan and I got into the car park his car was long gone. I sagged, defeated, into the front of Morgan’s blue truck while he started the engine in silence. I was glad he didn’t try to make small talk. I was exhausted and wanted desperately to allow the hum of the engine to sing me to sleep but every time I closed my eyes the black plastic zipper was being dragged slowly up Jason’s bloodied body. Tonight was going to be pleasant.

We arrived at my apartment all too soon; despite the silence of the car journey it was nice to have a presence near me. Right now, I was desperate to have someone, _anyone_ , near me. The engine gurgled to a halt and Morgan leaned into the bag to retrieve both our go bags.

“What?” I began but he just flashed me a tired grin before opening his door and pushing himself out of the seat. I wrestled with the seatbelt, my hands shaking from fatigue, shock and a desperate need for a fix. I hated admitting it but my veins were on fire, the blood pulsed to the beat of _dilaudid._ There were no meetings on until tomorrow afternoon so I’d have to distract myself until then. Morgan hadn’t waited for me and had instead headed for my apartment door. “What are you doing?” I repeated as I hurried into the warm lobby.

“Staying with you, I can’t drive home now I’m too tired.” It was a complete lie but I was incredibly grateful, I was too tired to put up even the most lacklustre of fights so I just led him towards the elevator.

My apartment was just as we’d left it yesterday. How could everything have happened so quickly? I could remember waking up next to Marley’s perfect body and now I had Morgan for a bed companion. I didn’t bother with pleasantries like coffee; instead I headed straight for my cupboard and pulled out the threadbare sheets that I gave to guests. Hmm… that was overestimating my social status. A grand total of 2 people had stayed over in my apartment: Morgan and Marley. Morgan had only stayed over 3 times before, usually because he was too drunk to make his own way home. Morgan gratefully took the hole strewn blankets and flat pillow and began making a bed on the couch with military precision. I was about to turn and head into my bedroom when Morgan began chuckling as he held up Marley’s top from the night before. It must have been stuffed down the back of the couch in our rush to rid ourselves of excess material.

“So this is why you two were together?” I blushed and quickly grabbed it off him.

“Well, uh, call me if you need anything else. Night.” I left Morgan to sort himself out and quickly headed into my room, desperate to sit down suddenly. My head felt like lead and my eyelids were drooping so I only had a small slit of vision. I threw off my clothes haphazardly before curling up under the duvet with Marley’s black top cradled against my chest. Her familiar scent was still on the stretchy material and it gave me a degree of comfort. Part of me wanted to call her but I decided to take her silence as a good sign, at least Hotch hadn’t kicked her out. So I made a decision not to call her until she called me, not wanting to interfere with her make up session with Hotch. I thought it would be a selfless act, putting my own needs for comfort behind the needs of the entire Hotchner family.

Who knew it would be one of the worst decisions of my life.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

**Marley Prince POV**

It felt like I’d aged twenty years in the last few hours. Each tick of the absurdly loud living room clock sent me into a spasm of worry. Even though I’d known they were safe for a couple of hours it didn’t feel real. Until I could see and touch them I wouldn’t be satisfied. Sensing the tense atmosphere, Jack had woken up several times and refused to go back to sleep until I’d promised him Aaron would be home soon and read him another Roald Dahl classic. He was now curled up in Aaron’s bed so that he could be near his Daddy as soon as he got home. I was sat awkwardly on the hallway floor, watching the door and praying, as if will alone would get them home. The scrape of a key in the lock had me leaping up like a Meerkat.

  _Finally._

I was at the door, fumbling with the door chain in a desperate bid to finally hold them in my arms. With the help of Aaron pushing from the other side we finally managed to get it open. Aaron looked like hell: he was wearing an untucked dress shirt without a tie and a pair of shoes that looked too small for his feet. It was with reluctance I looked at his face. A jaggered line cut across his forehead, held closed by unstable stiches while his blank dull eyes refused to look at me but over my right shoulder. I followed suit and looked over his shoulder to try and find Spencer. But Aaron was alone. Disappointment crashed over me as I wondered why he wouldn’t come here to see me after what had happened. Maybe I’d scared him with my declaration of love. Nervous about Spencer and still fraught with worry and grief after everything that had happened today I did the only thing I could do: lunge at Aaron. For some strange reason I wanted to cry Daddy like I would when I was seven and my Father had just come off a thirteen hour shift. I’d only just got my hands around his neck when he violently shoved me off; I fell back a few steps and stared at him with huge, desperate eyes. _Please, don’t be angry. I didn’t mean for Jason to get hurt. Please, Aaron._ My mind begged but my mouth kept opening and shutting as I tried to formulate the right words. Aaron took a step into the house and violently tugged my red woollen coat from the hat stand before throwing it in my general direction.

“Go to Spencer’s. Now.” Blunt, stoic with barely contained rage simmering under the surface. Tears swam across my vision as the blurry form of Aaron tried to move past me but I lurched forward and grabbed the starch white shirt.

“Please Aaron, please. I didn’t mean for it to happen. I didn’t. I… I was just trying to protect you guys. Please.” The last word came out as a desperate whine. He shrugged me off violently.

“You did such a great job there. It makes me wonder why the hell I let you near my son.”

“Aaron, please. I love you, I love Jack. I’d never let anyone hurt him.” I had started sobbing, pawing at his arm to no great effect.

“Just get out now.” He grabbed both my wrists in a bone crushing embrace and pushed me towards the door. I should have been scared; he had a deranged look in his eyes that told me he wasn’t quite in control of his actions. Instead all I cared about was staying in my home and trying to sort this mess out. I felt horrendously guilty about what had happened to Jason, a lump of bile had been trying to force its way up my throat since I’d found out and right now it felt as if it would never leave.

“Aaron, please, please!”

“Jess will pick Jack up after school on Monday.” Right then I gave up on forming coherent sentences and began wailing. I couldn’t lose Jack, anything but that. Finally I stumbled out of the door and just stood there looking bewildered at Aaron. He had turned his back to me but then he paused and looked back over his shoulder. “Marley?”

“Aaron.” _Please change your mind._

“Don’t come back.” He slammed the door. I didn’t even have my coat.

I stumbled down the driveway, slipping and sliding as the torrent of tears made it impossible to see anything but blurred shapes. I leaned against a lamppost halfway down the street and fumbled for my phone, wiping my eyes furiously so I could see to find his number. How could this be happening? I let out a sob as Jack’s smiling face beamed up at me from the screen. What if I never saw him again?

“Are you ok?” A man appeared from around the corner wrapped in a black trench coat. He had a hat pulled low across his face so only a large red mouth was visible. Under normal circumstances I would have crossed the street to avoid him. Sadly, these weren’t normal circumstances.

It all happened so quickly: I hadn’t even formulated an answer before he lunged forward and plunged a needle into my exposed neck. The drug, whatever it was, took effect quickly. The world began to spin. My hands turned numb and my phone clattered to the ground. My limp body quickly followed. The world began to dim at the edges and slowly blacken.

The last thing I saw before the darkness obliterated everything was Jack’s smiling face.                 


	18. Regret

**18\. Regret**

**Spencer Reid POV**

I woke up late to the smell of frying eggs and bacon. I needed to have Morgan to stay more often. I leaned over and grabbed my phone off the side. Disappointment flared in me as I stared at the blank screen. She hadn’t called. She’d known how upset I was but she hadn’t called, even if she’d had stuff to deal with with Hotch she could have called afterwards. I tried to look on the bright side that this could mean Hotch had listened to me and cut her some slack. Sighing, I pulled on a pair of trousers and shirt before pottering down the hall to find Morgan over my stove. I was reminded of the last person who had made me a meal and felt another spasm of sadness in my gut.

“Any… calls?” I asked, hoping I’d just slept through the phone.

“No, but maybe that’s a good thing. They could have worked things out. She might still be asleep after everything that happened last night.” Morgan tried to put the best spin on things. He was right, she would have been emotionally drained and exhausted after last night, she was probably still sound asleep. I’d give it a few hours and then call her. She’d probably be full of apologies and we could spend the afternoon lazing together. I busied myself by pulling plates out of the cupboard and setting them on the counter while Morgan flipped the eggs. We worked in companionable silence to finish preparing breakfast, neither of us really wanting to talk about what had happened. I sighed, after something like this we would probably have to go and see the BAU councillor to confirm that we could still do our jobs. That was always a fun conversation. Hopefully Hotch would deal with it internally, although seeing as he had dealt with the worst of the trauma he probably wouldn’t be allowed to. Breakfast should have tasted great, Morgan was an amazing cook, he’d learnt from his Mama, but nothing had any taste. Instead I was just going through the motions to be polite while bile formed in the back of my throat. Even with my eyes open I could still see Jason’s body being wrapped up in that black body bag. I sighed and put down my fork after eating a decent amount, Morgan gave me a sympathetic smile as he finished his own plate. The sudden insistent knocking on my door made me lunge up off the chair, smiling for the first time in hours. I should have realised that wasn’t her knock. I flung open the door to find Hotch.

“Reid I know you’re angry but I need to apologise to Marley. I know what I did was awful but I need to make things right.” The bile rose even higher in my throat.

“She’s not here.” Hotch blanched white.

“She _has_ to be.”

“What did you do?”

“I… I kicked her out.” I couldn’t have heard right.

“You did what?”

“I was angry…”

“Angry! Angry! She was trying to help you and now she’s God knows where!” I screamed. I wanted to punch him, how could he be so stupid? Luckily Morgan appeared and pulled me backwards. I hadn’t realised how close I’d got to Hotch as we’d been talking.

“We all need to calm down and think where she could have gone.” Morgan motioned for Hotch to come in and shut the door as he gently guided me back to the table. “Who else would she go to?” I tried to think but my mind was swarming with hideous images: a mixture of crime scene photos and Marley’s face all blurring into one. I felt sick.

“She doesn’t really have many friends.” Hotch began tentatively. “There are a couple of girls she knows at college but I can’t see her going to them in…”

“She shouldn’t have had to go to them at all!” I snapped angrily.

“Enough!” Morgan barked irritably. “Who else would she go to?”

“Sean?” I vouched after taking a deep breath. Sean had gone back to New York after Jack had gotten out on intensive care; his boss irritable at him taking so much time off at such little notice. 

“She… she didn’t have any money when she left. She couldn’t have got to Sean.” It actually looked like Hotch cringed as he said it. He had every right too. My house was a good twenty miles from mine and he’d let her leave without any money to get a bus or a cab. Morgan, deducing the same thing I had, grabbed my arm and whispered that I had to stay calm so we could find Marley. I tried to think; she wouldn’t have gone to Jess, any of the team would have called if she was at theirs and she had no one of getting back to her Dad’s without money. I was stumped. I shook my head before burying it in my hands. I should have called her.

“If _anything’s_ happened to her…” I choked out, taking several deep breaths to try an avoid tears. Something had happened to her; why else wouldn’t she have come back here?

“I know, I know. I’m so sorry, but we’ll find her.” Was it my imagination or had Hotch got tears in his eyes? Morgan pulled out his phone and began ringing round the others to meet us in the office. He put an arm around my shoulders and helped me up. The world seemed to swim around me; I could see Marley’s body lying limp by the side of the road like so many of our victims. A sob tried to escape my mouth but I gulped it down, not wanting to start crying. I didn’t think I’d stop.

Why the hell hadn’t I called her?

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Everyone was in the BAU room when we arrived, all looking nervous. Morgan hadn’t told them exactly what had happened so Hotch had the joy of explaining why Marley had been wandering the streets in the early hours of the morning. I was glad he had the dignity to look ashamed when Garcia gasped in shock at what he’d done. Rossi shook his head irritably before beginning the briefing. _Briefing._ I was sat having a briefing about my girlfriend. My head, usually swimming with facts and figure only had one thought left: This shouldn’t be happening.

Rossi, trying to be practical, broke everything down into small jobs like we did with our cases. Garcia was to ‘screw the protocol’ and put Marley straight into the system in case someone found her. Usually when someone ‘found’ someone on one of our cases it involved a body bag. JJ and Prentiss were to go through everyone Marley knew to see if she’d turned up there and the rest of us were to go to Hotch’s and see what we could find in the surrounding area. Morgan gave him a look that said he wanted to keep the two of us as far apart as possible, but I understood what Rossi was doing: he knew the two of us would go crazy trapped in the office calling around. We left the office, my breathing erratic as I tried to quash my anxiety. Morgan kept a steadying hand on my shoulder as he led me towards the elevator. I pulled out my phone as a sudden desperation struck me: she had to have called me. There was no message saying she was staying at an unknown friend’s to wait out Hotch’s wrath. The blank screen mocked me. With tears blurring my vision I couldn’t quite get my phone into my pocket. It was taken out of my hand and put into my pocket. I furiously blinked back the tears to see who was helping me and I couldn’t help the growl that escaped my throat as I saw Hotch standing before me. He looked away sheepishly, pulling his hand away from my pocket.

“We’ll find her.”

“We shouldn’t have to.” I snapped back.

“Come on Reid! We need to work together to find Marley. We…” Rossi started but my glare silenced him. 

“Don’t turn this around on me! He threw her out into the cold and dark, and now she’s missing!”

“I know what I did was wrong but I was so angry…” Hotch countered.

“That’s what our Unsubs say when we catch them. I’ll be civil to you to find her but that’s it.” The elevator doors opening stopped any further conversation. I stormed out of the elevator and headed to the underground car park where we kept the SUVs. Morgan rushed to keep up with me but he knew better than to get into conversation. So instead he opened the door and slid into the driver’s seat, tapping on the wheel as we waiting for the others to catch up.

The drive was silent and awkward with Rossi writing in his ever present notebook and Morgan tapping on the steering wheel while Hotch and I sat staring forward waiting to wake up from this nightmare. Sadly each time I pinched myself I felt the sharp stinging sensation that told me I was indeed awake and Marley was indeed missing.

 We pulled up at the end of Hotch’s road and piled out before beginning to search the surrounding area: starting from Hotch’s door and moving out in different directions. I had buried myself in green shrubbery when Morgan gave a yell from the other side of the street. I raced across, the others all hurtling from their own corners of the street. Morgan was holding something up using a blue glove from his pocket. Getting closer I recognised it and stopped dead, breathing deeply to try and keep from being sick. It was her phone. Rossi put a hand on my back before helping me move forwards to where Morgan and Hotch were investigating the phone. I leaned over to get a better view of what was on the screen; Jack’s smiling face was her home screen and underneath was the start of a number: 7025550. I let out a groan as I recognised my number. She’d been trying to call me, to come help her. Why didn’t I call her? How could I call myself a genius when I thought not calling her was the right thing to do! I hated myself right now, maybe even more than I hated Hotch.

“She was a hundred yards away.” Hotch muttered, staring forlornly at his front door.

“This is a highly vigilant neighbourhood watch area; someone would have noticed her scream even in the dead of night.” Rossi surmised as he surveyed the area.

“That means she either went with him of her own will, or she didn’t have time to scream.” Neither of those options made me feel any better.  Once we’d established that there was nothing left on the street to help us we headed back to the BAU with Hotch clutching the evidence bag which held Marley’s phone as if it was his comfort blanket. Every time I looked at it a knife twisted in my stomach: she’d wanted my help. She was only a few digits away from it when some bastard took her.  Morgan kept flicking anxious glances in my direction as if I was about to have a psychotic break right then and there. I wasn’t sure how far away from the truth he was.

Garcia was waiting by the elevator when we arrived. Her blonde hair standing slightly on edge where she’d pulled at it as she worked. It was one of her little tells that only came out when she was under incredible stress. She was clutching a file forcefully against her breast as if she was scared it was going to run away. I hated seeing Garcia like this; it was a sure sign that the case was atrocious.

“Garcia?” Rossi ventured almost reluctantly. No one wanted to know what was in that file.

“I think I’ve found the person who has Marley. It’s bad.” Then she burst into tears. 

**Marley Prince POV**

_I was cold._

_So cold._

_A blurry shadow of a man stood over me._

_Something gleamed._

_Sharp pain._

_Everything went black._


	19. Remember Me

**19\. Remember me**

**Marley Prince POV**

For a beautiful split second I thought I’d had the weirdest dream and was curled up in my bed at home.

Then I remembered.

I shot up only to be violently dragged back down by iron shackles around my wrists. I whimpered as I took in my surroundings; I was in a dark room, the windows boarded up so that the only light came from the swinging bulb above me. It smelt of mould and mildew and when I put my hand out it was damp to the touch. A door on the far side of the room would be my only escape but there was no way I could get to it unless I was untied. I shivered against the cold that suffocated the room around and tried to wrap my arms around myself but the shackles kept them firmly in front of me. The metal was too tight and bit into my skin: if I moved too much I would break the skin. Needing some comfort I pulled my legs up to my chest as I stared around the room once again. I tried to focus like a profiler but I couldn’t; I was teetering on the edge of a precipice of fear and it was taking everything I had just to stay upright. My stomach was swirling as my breathing increased in pace. _I’m going to die._ I shook my head too forcefully to clear the image and spots blurred my vision. I didn’t know what time it was. I wondered if anyone had realised I was gone yet. Would Aaron even care when he found out. He’d wanted my gone after all. Tears leaked out from the corners of my eyes as I thought of Aaron’s hate filled face last night. I didn’t want him to remember me like that. I wanted him to love me again, like the surrogate Father he was. I thought about Spencer, I tried to lose myself in my memories of that night. I could remember his pale flesh illuminated by the moonlight as he’d reared up above me, his unique smell engulfing me as his feather light touch caressed my ribs. The door creaked open but I refused to open my eyes, trying desperately to stay in the memory. But as the booming footsteps echoed around the room Spencer moved further and further away from me until he was just a shadowy figure on the edge of my memory. A big fat hand patted my head. _Don’t open your eyes._ He must have leant down in front of me because a sudden blast of putrid breath almost had me opening my eyes. _Almost._ I bit my lip to keep from crying out as he continued petting me like a dog.

“It’s time to play.” There was a slight lisp in his voice that made him sound almost childlike. I wasn’t fooled though; his idea of _play time_ was probably a lot different to Jack’s. A small involuntary whimper escaped mouth and I heard him sight. “I thought you were the one.”

“What?” I couldn’t help the squeaky word I emitted.  I still refused to open my eyes, until the huge hand pulled away from my head and grabbed my jaw in a painful embrace, brutally jerking it upwards.

“Look at me.” I did what I was told, reluctantly opening my eyes and allowing them to adjust to the light. I let my eyes wander to my captor; he had a certain quality to him that reminded me of Lenny from _“Of Mice and Men,”_ there was a certain gormless to his face that made him seem harmless and childlike. But I knew he wasn’t. “I know from the first moment I saw you that you’d be perfect.”

“For what.” I barely made any sound as I let out the terrified whimper. I tried not to think about the case files that hung around Aaron’s apartment like lost ghosts. All those women who had been abducted, tortured, raped and then murdered. Left like rubbish by the side of the street. I didn’t want to be one of them. I wanted to see my family again; I could take Spencer to see them at Christmas. My Dad would love that. Oh God, my Dad! Did he know I was missing? He’d be heartbroken. When they found my body I hoped that Aaron wouldn’t make him identify me. More tears fell as I thought about my impending doom. I didn’t want to die.

“Don’t cry. The others cried. I thought you’d be different. I saw you with the boy and he was laughing. You were at the park and a lady talked to you. She thought he was your son. That’s what I wanted.”

“I don’t understand what you want.” I felt sick because I remember the event he was talking about; it had happened over a month ago. He’d been watching me, _us,_ for a month!    

“A Nanny.”

“For your…children?” I couldn’t quite believe I was hearing this. He’d abducted me to be a Nanny.

“No.” He looked at me as if I was stupid. “For me.”

“But you’re like thirty!” I knew in the back of my mind arguing with my deluded captor was the worst thing I could do but I couldn’t help it.

“Yes. You’re under trial for a position as my Nanny. None of the others have ever made it to getting the job but I’ve got a good feeling about you.” I didn’t want to think about how many _others_ there had been, nor what had happened to them. I took a deep breath and tried to think; the clue was to think like him, so I decided the best thing I could do was go along with his plan.

“What do I have to do?”

“We need to make a phone call.”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

**Spencer Reid POV**

It took Garcia a couple of minutes to calm down enough to speak. All the while I stood there hyperventilating as my mind went into overdrive wondering what was happening to Marley. Tobias Hankel and the cabin flickered into my mind. She had to be alright. We’d find her. We had to. Eventually Garcia, with a little help from Morgan, calmed down enough to inform us of the horror concealed in the file.

“An FBI special crimes unit flagged Marley almost as soon as I’d put her in the system. They’ve been dealing with a case that involves the abduction… and…. and murder of Nannies.” The floor seemed to drop out from under me. He was going to murder her. Only Morgan’s death grip on my arm kept me standing as Hotch let out an odd keening sound.

“Garcia, what else do you know?” Rossi sounded almost reluctant to ask.

“They usually ring their employer between eleven or thirteen hours after the abduction. At first they follow a script saying that they’re going for a trial to be a Nanny with someone else. Then they have two minutes to say their goodbyes. After that… if they haven’t “Made the cute” he calls the employers exactly 24 hours after the first phone call. He tells them where the body is.”

“And if they have, uh, “made the cut”?” Rossi asked while I clutched Morgan’s top as if he was going to make this any better.

“Then there’s radio silence until they “fail” stage two. Every one of the others has been dead after seventy two hours.” Her voice cracked at the end as she delivered the final devastating blow. Tears began to torrent down my face until nothing remained but blurred shapes remained. Morgan moved until he’d wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my back in an attempt to soothe.

“How many other vic… how many others have there been?” Rossi asked, his cracked voice betraying his concern. 

“So far they know of thirty five.”

“Thirty five!” Hotch gasped.

“It took until victim number 23 before anyone worked out they were linked. This Unsub is good he crosses state lines and everything. The other team have no leads.” She sighed and rubbed my back gently. I was still clutching Morgan like a comfort blanket while Rossi had a hand on Hotch’s shoulder.

“How… how did he kill them?” Hotch closed his eyes as he asked.

“He… he stabbed them multiple times. That was the only sign of physical violence, there was no sign of sexual assault.” I tried to focus on the positive aspects, that some sexual sadist wasn’t torturing her. But, all I thought about was her screams as the blade plunged into her over and over again, the shudder of her body as her heart gave out. She was going to die and there was nothing I could do.

The room seemed to spin and I had to get away. I staggered away from Morgan and threw myself into the bathroom off the hall, leaning over the sink as I tried to control my breathing. Sobs were wrenched out of my throat and once I started I couldn’t stop; a torrent of tears cascaded down my face as I wept, my arms shaking as they kept me upright against the sink. An arm I recognised as Hotch’s tugged me away from the sink and pulled me against his chest. I didn’t have the strength to push him away so I clung onto him. To my surprise his entire frame was shaking and my hair grew damp as his tears pooled on the crown of my head. I wasn’t entirely sure how long we remained stood there, sobbing in each other’s arms but eventually we managed to pull ourselves together. I pulled away from him and leaned over the sink to wash my face, feeling slightly embarrassed by my display in front of my boss. Hotch finished splashing water on his face and reached across me for a paper towel.

“I told her not to come back. That was the last thing I said to her.” He leaned his head against the wall and rubbed angrily at his eyes. “I never meant for this to happen Reid. As soon as I woke up this morning I felt sick with myself. I hated myself for the way I treated her.”

“I know. You came to find her.” I felt a sudden desire to make him feel better, being angry was too exhausting and right now I needed to put all my energy into finding Marley.

“What if she dies?” His voice cracked and a tear began the long trek down his face.

“We can’t think like that. She’s alive and we _will_ find her.” He nodded put the tears continued. “Hotch, it wasn’t your fault. Think about it, this unsub knew she was a Nanny so he must have been watching her. He would have taken her whatever.”

“I made it easier though.” I leaned forward and hugged him tightly. He understood the storm of uncontainable grief that was raging through me. “What am I going to tell Jack?”

“That Marley’s helping us on a case and she’ll be home real soon.” Because she would, if she didn’t then I wasn’t sure what any of us would do.

“Guys,” Rossi and Morgan stood watching us anxiously in the doorway. I wondered how long they had been stood there watching us. “We have to work on a profile. According to the pattern the phone call will be coming any minute now and we need to give Marley as much help as we can.”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\  

At 5:31 Hotch’s phone rang. We’d all been staring at it for the last thirty minutes. Just waiting. There was no need for a trap and trace; the last team had discovered that the Unsub was clever enough to bounce the call off hundreds of different telephone masts. So we’d worked on what we could tell Marley in the call, the more she knew the more likely she was to survive. It still felt unreal, sat here planning how to keep my girlfriend alive for a couple more hours. We all held our breaths as Hotch put the phone on speakerphone.

“Mr Hotchner?” I nearly sobbed when I heard her scared voice.

“Marley, I’m here.”

“I’m calling to inform you that I… I’m on trial for a new job. So I need some time off.” It sounded oddly formal but we knew that she was following the script. “Now I can say goodbye.” Her voice cracked at the end.

“Marley, listen closely darling. We know what’s going on and we’re going to find you. I promise we won’t stop until we find you.” Hotch was trying to stay strong but his eyes were turning glassy again. 

“Aaron I’m so scared.” She let out a moan and began whimpering. “I’m sorry about what happened, I’m so so sorry. You have to believe that.”

“You’ve got nothing to apologise for, I was an arse but when we find you I’m going to make it up to you.”

“Is Jack ok?” An odd grimace passed across Hotch’s face, of course Marley would be worried about Jack before anything else.

“He’s fine, just missing you. But you need to listen carefully. You need to pretend he’s you’re child, think of him as Jack.”

“Are you serious!” She shrieked. “He’s not Jack he’s a grown man who has a gun!” I groaned at that new piece of information.

“I know it’s difficult but just pretend. It’s the only way you’ll survive this…”

“I can’t.”

“Yes you can. Do you want to know how I know? Despite everything that’s happened the first thing you wanted to know was if Jack was safe. You’ll do it for him, I know you will.”

“I’ll try.” Garcia held up her hand signalling we didn’t have long left. I stepped forward.

“Baby, I’m here.” It was taking everything in me not to collapse.

“Spencer!” Relief flooded her voice when she heard me.

“We’re going to find you baby.”

“I’ve got to go.” She whispered reluctantly.

“I know…”

“Just, don’t say goodbye.”

“I won’t. I love you.”

“I…” The phone went dead.

Now all we could do was wait and pray she could hold her nerve.     

   


	20. Cut

**20\. Cut**

**Marley POV**

"I love you." Spencer promised me down the phone. I wanted to be in his arms instead of shackled in a damp room with a psycho watching me, holding up an illuminated alarm clock. He had been very clear on what I had to do. And what would happen if I didn’t. He’d given me a torn piece of paper with what I guessed was his scrawled handwriting. I took me a while to decipher what he wanted me to say but finally I worked it out and reluctantly dialled Aaron’s number. Even where I was, I was still worried about the reception Aaron would give me. I bit my lip as I waited, watching my captor watch me from across the room.

"Mr Hotchner?" How did he even know Aaron’s last name? I felt nauseous that none of us had noticed the omnipresent audience our lives had acquired.

"Marley, I'm here." He sounded like hell. At least he didn’t slam the phone down. I took a deep breath and tried to hold my nerve, the paper was shaking so much I could barely see it but I forced myself to continue. It was all over if I didn’t.

"I'm calling to inform you that I… I'm on trial for a new job. So I need some time off." What if he believed me? We had argued last night and he might think I’d finally had enough. How long would it take before they realised I’d been kidnapped? I was hoping the formality of the next bit would alert him that something was wrong, but I was reluctant to spell it out for him in my ‘goodbye time’ with my captor watching me. I had to keep on his good side if I was going to last much longer. "Now I can say goodbye."

"Marley, listen closely darling. We know what's going on and we're going to find you. I promise we won't stop until we find you." Thank God! They knew what had happened and I knew they would stop at nothing to find me.

"Aaron I'm so scared." My captor stirred and I mentally chided myself. I knew time was running out and I had to prioritise what to say to him. I had to make things right. "I'm sorry about what happened, I'm so so sorry. You have to believe that."

"You've got nothing to apologise for, I was an arse but when we find you I'm going to make it up to you." Under any other circumstances Aaron admitting to being an arse would have been the highlight of my day. Now it stirred something painful in my gut.

"Is Jack ok?" Thinking about Jack made everything marginally better. 

"He's fine, just missing you. But you need to listen carefully. You need to pretend he's you're child, think of him as Jack."

"Are you serious!"  I shrieked, how could he think that was even a possibility. My imagination didn’t quite stretch that far.  "He's not Jack he's a grown man who has a gun!"

"I know it's difficult but just pretend. It's the only way you'll survive this…"

"I can't." I whimpered as I watched him stir from across the room, obviously angered by what I’d said. If I couldn’t control myself for a two minute phone conversation how was I meant to do it for any prolonged period of time?

"Yes you can. Do you want to know how I know? Despite everything that's happened the first thing you wanted to know was if Jack was safe. You'll do it for him, I know you will."

"I'll try." I agreed quietly, closing my eyes as I exhaled slowly. 

"Baby, I'm here." My eyes burst open as I heard Spencer’s voice. I clutched the phone tighter to my ear as if I could get to him through the cheap plastic.

"Spencer!" 

"We're going to find you baby." I hoped he was right but my captor stirred at the other end of the room and began walking forward, highlighting the hopelessness of this situation I’d managed to get myself into.

"I've got to go." 

"I know…" I couldn’t bear to hear him say what was coming next. _Goodbye._ It was what you said at funerals. I couldn’t think about that yet. I had to believe I’d see them again.

"Just, don't say goodbye." And he didn’t. Instead he told me exactly what I needed to hear but before I could say the same back the phone was snatched from me. I stared desperately at the phone, my lifeline, as he shoved it into his pocket.

I was all alone.

I took a deep breath. Closing my eyes I pictured Jack in my mind and thought about the first time I met him. I trusted Aaron with my life and I knew I had to follow his directive.

So what had I done on our first meeting?

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

_Aaron had insisted on three interviews before he’d hired me. The first time the two of us had met at the agency headquarters and spoken formerly on the logistics, the second time I’d met Jack and the third time we’d had an informal chat in his dining room. My meeting with Jack had happened week after my first meeting with Aaron; my assigned handler from the agency, Margaret Limpton, had taken me to his apartment. Usually if I went anywhere near such a high end building I would have been sent away in an instant but here I was with the potential of living here! Not that I was getting my hopes up too much even after our first meeting you could tell he was going to be hard to please. When Aaron opened the door I’d shrunk behind Margaret as nerves overcame me. Back then I hadn’t known exactly what he did for a living and I’d assumed he was some boss in a big company. I should have known people earning millions would have smiled more than Aaron._

_“Marley it’s good to see you again.” He’d smiled encouragingly and opened the door wider to entice me in._

_“Mr Hotchner, your home looks lovely.” I’d smiled as I walked into his immaculate hallway._

_“Aaron, please. I thought today you could meet Jack. Get to know each other?” He suggested as I followed him into the living room. Jack was sat on the floor by the couch playing with his dinosaurs. “Hey Jack, here’s the lady I was telling you about. Say hello.”_

_“Hi.” Jack had turned and smiled at me, he was one of the cutest kids I’d ever seen with his dimples and goofy smile._

_“Hey Jack, my name’s Marley.” I flashed my biggest smile and bent down to his level. I’d gone to enough of these to know the drill. If the kid loved you then you were in there so you had to put on the best show on earth._

_“That’s a funny name.”_

_“Jack!” Hotch warned._

_“It’s fine, I know it’s weird. My parents were big jazz fans, I was lucky I wasn’t called Bob.”_

_“Bob’s a boy’s name.” Jack laughed._

_“Like I said I’m lucky.” Jack smiled tentatively at me before offering me a dinosaur. I sat on the floor next to him and played ‘dino fight.’ Like the good Nanny I let him win each time until he got bored and wanted to play a new game. Out of the twenty three interviews I’d already been too Jack was the first child to ask what I wanted to play. Unfortunately that completely threw me; I was used to doing what others wanted me to, not thinking of my own ideas. “How about cards?” I finally offered._

_“Cool! What game?” I decided to teach him to play spit one of my all-time favourite games. He’d never heard of it but took great delight in learning how to play it. The two of us played countless rounds until I completely forgot the time. Usually I was desperate for these sessions to end because of the stress but here I felt at ease. Aaron offered Margaret and me dinner and we stayed until Jack’s bedtime. As the two of us got ready to leave Jack came running into the hall and hugged me tightly around the waist._

_“I hope you come and live with us.” He flashed me a dimpled grin before waving us off._

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Rather than giving me a flash of inspiration the flashback only made me wish I was back there again but I knew to get back there I had to play this sick twisted game. Aaron and Spencer had promised they’d find me and I had to believe in them.

“So what’s your name?” He looked at me suspiciously as if I was trying to trick him. “How can we be friends if I don’t know your name? I’m Marley and you…?”

“Jonathon but you can call me John.” He sat crossed legged on the floor in front of me, waiting patiently for the big show to begin.

“Well John, do you like card games? Or a board game? We could play…” I looked desperately at him for some sign he found this idea agreeable. He nodded before getting up and heading out of the room. Was that good or bad? He came back a minute later with a pack of card and handed them to me.

“Can you teach me how to shuffle properly? Amber used to do that all the time.” I didn’t want to know who Amber was, or what had happened to her but I nodded along anyway. Having spent many nights with the electricity cut off at home my brothers and I had spent hour’s playing cards so I was something of a pro. However my brothers, while mean at times, had never made me shuffle with my wrists shackled together. I manoeuvred myself so I could use the wooden floor for a base and sorted out the cards. They were the nice out fashioned type made out of thick card and had been kept pristine in an old red leather card case. They were beautiful, but it made me even more nervous in case I bent one of them. I was startled to find he’d stretched himself out on the floor in front of me, staring intently at the cards in my hands as if they were the most exciting thing on the planet.

“Ok John. You make two even piles like this…then you get them comfortable in your hands like so and then you flick them back carefully…” The shackled clanked as I tried to pull my hands back too far; I wiggled the cards about in my grip until I could get them far enough away before pulling my thumb back slowly and watching the cards fall down into a pile. “…and voila! Do you want a go?”

“Yes!” He jumped up excitedly and took the cards from me before trying to copy what I had done. His attempt was sloppy but I praised him before showing him how far apart his hands needed to be for it to work. He repeated it again and again until the two piles of cards merged into a semi shuffled one. “Did I do good?” He looked up all doe eyed, desperately seeking my praise. I didn’t have to imagine too hard to think of Jack pulling that exact same expression. It scared me.  

“You did good.” I smiled at him, hoping he didn’t sense the desperation behind the smile. We were both as desperate as the other to gain approval. “What time is it?”

“Almost seven.” He repeated quietly after checking the phone, he didn’t seem to like it when I asked questions.

“You must be hungry. I could make us some dinner? What’s your favourite?” I kept the same fixed smile as I asked.

“I like peanut butter sandwiches. No crusts.”

“No, I hate crusts too.” I agreed as he pulled a key from his pocket and untied the metal chain that attached the shackles to the floor so my wrists were still chained together. He then reached into his back pocket and pulled out an identical set of shackles which he preceded to lock around my ankles. He helped me to my feet and took one of my wrists so he could lead me out the room.

I wasn’t sure exactly what I’d been expecting from the rest of my prison but it was not a fully furnished landing complete with artwork and shag carpet. I stopped abruptly as my eyes adjusted to the light reflecting off of the shiny glasswork of the many frames along the hallway. John didn’t seem to notice my shock as he pulled me towards a grand staircase leading down to a brightly light foyer. I tried not to think about the possibilities of escape; if I failed then it was all over. He quickened his pace as he led me into the kitchen; obviously some of the _others_ had thought the same thing I had. The kitchen was white wood and reminded me of Dave’s; it even had a matching island in the centre. He sat down at one of the stools and motioned for me to continue. I washed my hands, always a stickler for hygiene, and rummaged through the cupboards to find all the ingredients I needed.  

“Make yourself one too.” Well, at least I wasn’t going to starve. I finished my preparations (not easy with shackles, let me tell you) and shuffled back to the island with the plates.

“Is it ok?” I asked anxiously as he took his first bite. He nodded and took another bite. I tried to eat, I knew I had to keep my strength up, but the peanut butter stuck to the roof of my mouth and made it impossible to swallow. I gave up after a couple of bites, pushing it around the plate for something to do.

“I’ll lay down the ground rules.” He said suddenly and I looked up nervously. “If you make the cut on part one of the trial then you’re allowed to come into my room and shower.” He looked at me hopefully as if I was meant to be grateful. “Then if you get past part two in a couple of days you get even more freedom. And if you pass the whole trial, after seven days, then we get to go home.”

“Home?”

“Yes to my Mum. She’ll love to meet you.”

“Oh, ok. What um… what happens if you don’t make the cut? Like the _others_?” It was an answer I knew in the abstract but I had to have it confirmed.

Well, I thought I did.     

He sighed and got up from his seat and moved around to a cupboard in the welsh dresser on the other side of the island, easing it open and pulling out an object. He turned around and held it out to me. The last _other’s_ blood was still encrusted on the blade.

“If you don’t make the cut then you get cut.”  

 


	21. Profile

**21\. Profile**

**Spencer Reid POV**

We’d had to bring in an extra board to fit on all the pictures of the dead girls, the thirty five that the other team had found and three extra women that Garcia had found who fit the victimology. Thirty eight women had already died and now he had Marley. Marley’s picture had pride of place on the middle board surrounded by a map of the local area and a national one with markers for each other the victims. The picture was from Hotch’s desk; it had been taken in the park with sunlight highlighting Marley’s black hair. She had Jack on her lap, he was wearing his football strip and laughing at something she said; they were happy.

“What do we know about victimology?” Prentiss asked, bringing me out my revere. We had all congregated back in the conference room, trying to focus on the profile like we always did. This time, however, it felt like we were all newbies on our first case. It always felt like that when we were dealing with a personal case, the emotions overrode all sense of rationality that was necessary for a profile. It wasn’t particularly helpful but matters of the heart were hard to control.

“They’re all brunettes in their early twenties.” JJ put forward.

“The Armani bag of Nannies.” Hotch muttered and we all turned to stare at him. “That’s what Marley said. Everyone wanted her because she was a white, all American girl who was studying for a degree and had no boyfriend prospects.”

“But Marley has Spencer.” Garcia pointed out.

“Maybe she didn’t when he started watching her.” Morgan pointed out.

“Talking of watching Marley how did he even find her, there must be hundreds of Nannies in Washington?” Prentiss sighed; everyone looked expectantly at me for a statistic on the number of Nannies currently working in Washington.

“There are one hundred and sixty eight thousand Nannies in the United States as a whole, I’m not sure how many in Washington but there were three hundred and fifty nine Nannies on the books of Marley’s agency.”

“Could he use agencies to get to the girls?”

“I’m not sure how he’d find Marley though; they don’t give out the names of everyone on their books. When I first went to them I had to say what I needed in a Nanny, then they found everyone who fit what I needed and I got to interview them.” Hotch bit down on his thumb as he put our only good lead to bed.

“Could he access a… a database of sorts?” Morgan seemed to have dismissed the idea even as he said it but we were getting desperate.

“No, there isn’t, just different agencies but I can look up all the girls and who they were signed with.” Garcia offered, standing up quickly and heading for the door.

“Garcia while you’re there find out who the girls were hired by. There might be a connection there.” Prentiss called out after Garcia.

“I’ll call in Kevin so we can get it done quicker.” Hotch nodded and went back to looking at the pictures.

“Why does he stab them?” JJ asked suddenly. “Marley said he had a gun but he stabs them. Why?”

“Sexual release?”

“I think it’s more than that.” I added, not really sure where my certainty was coming from but deciding to go with it anyway. “These stab wounds seem angry but not in a sexual way. Do you remember he said they didn’t ‘make the cut’ on the trial. He wants a Nanny and he believes he’s doing what’s right so when they scream and cry they break his fantasy…”

“… So he gets angry and stabs them.” Hotch finished. We all stayed silent for a few minutes each lost in our own thoughts as we stared at the files the other team had sent across. They were flying in and should be here within the hour to shed some light on the unsub although from what they’d told us on the phone they had no leads other than what they had sent us.  

“Guys! I think I found something!” Garcia came racing back in a few minutes later. “I started looking at who the girls worked for and came up with something uber weird. They all worked for a widowed Father with a son aged between four and six.”

“Good work Garcia!” Hotch leapt up, this new piece of evidence rejuvenating our search.

“That’s a pretty specific family dynamic, I’d bet anything he has experience of it.” Morgan jumped up to, I wasn’t sure exactly why everyone was jumping up but I felt there enthusiasm. We were getting somewhere at last.

“Do you reckon the age range was when he lost his Mom?” Prentiss asked.

“No.” I said suddenly. “It was when he lost _his_ Marley.”

“Spencer?” Hotch asked nervously, obviously wondering what the hell I was going on about. 

“Think about it Hotch what would Jack do if he lost Marley? He’d be doing exactly what we are now; he’d never stop looking for her. Look at those girls; they all look the same because he’s looking for someone. Nannies have one of the highest turnover rates out of all the occupations, only twenty five per cent of Nannies stay around for more than two years. So he loses his Mom and then someone replaces her but he loses her too.”

“It was probably one of the first Nannies he had, maybe even the first.” Prentiss continued. “When I was little I used to have Nannies and at first I got close to them but eventually I realised that they all left in the end.”

“Garcia, the first victim worked in the Hamptons, he probably lived around there and then moved on.” Hotch took back his leadership role from Rossi, he seemed glad to be able to do something at last.

“Ok, I’ll look for widowed men with a son, going back…?”

“Twenty, twenty five years.”

“The other team’s here sir.” Anderson put his head around the door, looking anxious at disturbing us.

“Thank you, Anderson. Right, Reid and I will talk to them and see what else they know. Prentiss and JJ look at the geographical profile and see if it gives us anything. Morgan, you and Rossi go back over the victims and see if you can find anything else.” We all nodded. I felt a bit more hopeful than before, after all we were getting somewhere. We would find her. I stood up and followed Hotch out the room, hoping the other team would have something useful.

They didn’t. What the hell had they been up to for the last few weeks? We’d managed to get somewhere in the last few hours but when we told them what we had, they looked amazed as if we were magicians. All we’d done was apply common sense to the situation, but apparently that was a lot more than they had done. Hotch, finally finding someone else in the situation to blame had torn into them about their incompetence and I had to drag him from the room under the pretence of a ‘team briefing.’ That was the start of a downward spiral for the case. The geographical profile drew a blank; he had travelled seemingly at randomly from state to state in no particular order. All we knew was that he had a mode of transportation. The victimology also drew a blank; there was nothing new there.

Our best hope was appealing to witnesses via national news but that bought a whole other set of problems. We had to alert Marley’s family to the fact she’d disappeared. No one had mentioned it for the first few hours, all of us hoping that she would turn up before that became necessary but we were slowly realising that hope had faded. He had her in some unknown location and we were no closer to working out where that was. It was Rossi who tentatively asked Hotch for the number, but Hotch refused to let him saying that this was his mess and he’d sort it out. He headed quietly into his office and stayed in there for some time. When he came out he looked as if he’d been crying but refused to say what had been said; only asking Garcia to sort out flights to get them here.

After that we’d gone back to staring at the board in the case room as if there was a clue hidden there just beyond our reach until I couldn’t take it anymore. 

“We’re running out of time.” I yelled in exasperation, thumping the table angrily. It was almost four in the morning and for the last few hours we’d been going around in circles. Garcia was having trouble finding anything even with Kevin’s help; our lead had reached a dead end.

“She can do it Spence.” JJ consoled. “She’ll hang on until we get there.”

“We need some rest. We might get somewhere with fresh eyes.” Rossi suggested, rubbing tiredly at his eyes.

“No!” I yelled. How could he even suggest such a thing? The clock was ticking; the last thing we could afford was sleep.

“Reid we can’t help her if we’re dead on our feet. How about we take it in shifts; You, Hotch, Prentiss and Garcia sleep for a couple of hours and then we’ll swap.” I didn’t like the idea one bit but I could feel tiredness weighing on my eyelids. I hadn’t slept much after the Hunter case and now this.

“I think it’s a good idea. Come on Pretty boy I’ll even let you sleep in my office.” Morgan practically dragged me from my seat and down to his office before I could formulate a response.

“I won’t be able to.” I murmured.

“You will, you look like death warmed up.”

“What if Marley’s family get here?”

“Then I’ll wake you up straight away, scout’s honour.” He gave me a tired smile, today he actually looked his age but I could hardly comment when I probably looked older than Rossi. I sat down on the black leather sofa in the corner of his room while he found a blanket in one of his draws. “Come on pretty boy, get some rest.”

“Thanks.” I nodded before kicking off my shoes and curling up on the sofa, waiting for Morgan to leave. Once he’d gone I fished out my phone suddenly understanding how helpless and scared Marley had felt while she waited for news on us. I had remembered a video I had on there from Jack’s stay in hospital and I was desperate to hear her voice. I found the file and tentatively hit play.

_Marley was sat on the hospital bed with Jack curled up by her side. She was wearing a red checked shirt with her hair pulled back in a plait, it had been near the end of his stay and Jack was sat up playing a board game. We’d decided to play it in teams; Marley and Jack, Sean and Jess and Hotch and me._

_“We’re winning!” Jack yelled happily as the red counter neared the end._

_“It’s ‘coz we’re the best Jack!” Marley laughed before winking cheekily in my direction. She wrapped an arm around him so she could pull him closer before kissing his head. The camera zoomed in closer, focusing on her face. She was laughing, revealing straight white teeth and a pink tongue. Her brown eyes were shining brightly as they focused on the camera. She blew a kiss at me before giggling again._

I replayed it several times; I wasn’t sure while I’d decided to film that particular moment but I was glad I had. It was something concrete, something to prove she’d been here and she’d been happy. It was something to hold onto at the very least. I closed the phone and lay my head back down on the armrest and closed my eyes. I’d expected to find sleep difficult but my body was utterly exhausted and soon sleep overcame me.

I wished it hadn’t. The dream snuck up on me through the black nothingness I’d desired so I had no chance to wake up before it overwhelmed me, pulling me down into a swarming vortex of hell.

_We were in the conference room when the call came through. The breathy ghostly voice informed us that we could find Marley’s body behind the dumpster of my apartment. We’d headed down there with heavy hearts, knowing it was over. We’d failed her. Morgan and Rossi tried to keep Hotch and me away from the crime scene but we couldn’t bear to leave her alone surrounded by strangers. The crime scene investigators were already swarming the dumpster area at the back of the car park. I could see my bedroom window from here, the blue wind chime glinting in the late evening sunlight._

_The crime scene team moved back to allow us access to her. The first thing I saw was her jean clad leg lying prone; her pink pump was hanging off her foot. Bile rose in my throat but I forced myself to keep moving forward until she was in full view. It was the worst thing I’d ever seen._

_Her limbs protruded at strange angles. He hadn’t even had the decency to lay her out; he’d just tossed her aside like rubbish. Dried blood covered her top; it was the red checked one. The blade had ripped it in several places revealing pierced skin. I wondered how long she’d managed to maintain consciousness before finally slipping into oblivion. The worst part was her eyes. They were open. He hadn’t had the decency to close them. Those beautiful brown eyes had always been so expressive but now they stared up at me blankly. I fell to my knees beside her body and clutched at her outstretched hand. It was cold, no more warm squeezes when I felt nervous or sweet caresses to my face when she was happy. All that was left for her was the dark embrace of the wooden casket she would spend eternity in._

_“Marley.” I choked out as I grabbed her stiff body to my chest. “Please wake up. Please!”_

    

 


	22. The Knight and the Prince

**22\. The Knight and the Prince**

**Marley Prince POV**

I’d missed my calling; I should have been an actress. How I’d managed to keep a pleasant smile plastered over my face after he showed me the blooded knife I had no idea. But I had, for Jack’s sake. He wasn’t about to lose anyone else he loved if I could help him. Every time I felt panic rear its head I closed my eyes and thought of Jack. He gave me something to focus on, even if it did just highlight how far away I was from him. John didn’t seem fazed by the fact my life was on the line, he just wanted to play games. First crazy eights then cheat and finally blackjack; what can I say he seemed to like card games. I made sure to let him win, not wanting to provoke a reaction that could get me killed. Sometimes he seemed incredibly childlike; he would jig around on the floor like Jack did when he was wining and beg in a childlike, whining voice to play another round. But other times, when I accidently got close to winning or rattled my cuffs a little too loudly a dark look would flick across his face, leaving me in no illusion to the psycho I was with. I hoped he would be childlike when it came to bedtime and go to bed early; I didn’t know how long I could keep this up without a break. At half past nine he abruptly informed me that it was time for bed.

“Do you want me to read to you, or I can sing?” After hours spent putting Jack to bed I felt in my element with bedtimes.

“Tell me a story, make one up.” He demanded. Oh great, being creative wasn’t my strong suit at the best of time.

“Oh, ok. Um…” Come on brain, think. I didn’t dare use any Roald Dahl, which I now knew off by heart, in case he recognised it. I had to play by the rules. “Um… Once there was a group of brave knights who went on many adventures together.”

“Like King Arthur and the round table?” He asked excitedly. I was on to a winner.

“Yes. The youngest knight was the most beautiful man in the entire Kingdom and all the fair maidens were in love with him, but he fell in love with a serving girl. She worked for the King, looking after the Prince…”

“Did the Prince have a Mom?”

“No, no the Queen died.”

“Good.” I tried not to flinch when he said that. “What was the King like?” 

“He was nice, the best King that there had ever been. Everyone loved him.”

“You’re wrong. All Kings are nasty.” I looked up nervously at him, apparently he was taking more out of the story then I’d intended.

“Well, to the outside he appeared nice but to the Prince he could be nasty.” I’d decided it was better to play along than try and prove the ‘King’s’ goodness and from John’s face my tactics seemed to work. “Anyway the Knights went on lots of…”

“I want to hear more about the Prince.”

“Oh, Ok. Um, the Prince loved the serving girl very much. They always played games in the castle, his favourite was hide and seek. They would play every day and then she would sing him to sleep with a lullaby. One day the Prince was hurt after falling off his horse and the serving girl was so worried about him that she stayed by his bedside until he was all better.”

“The serving girl sounds nice.” He commented.

“She was a just a normal peasant girl who got very lucky because looking after the Prince was the most sought after job in the entire kingdom.” I felt slightly ridiculous telling this story, and guilty that I’d let the ‘King’ be made into some awful tyrant but it also made me feel a bit better, thinking about my Prince.

“I’m tired.” John announced. “I’m going to bed but you can tell me more tomorrow.” He stood up and headed over to the door.

“Goodnight John, sweet dreams.” I forced the words out, clinging onto the knowledge that I’d be alone soon.

“Night Marley.” He waved before switching off the bulb and shut the door, smothering me in darkness. I heard the clink of the lock that indicated I was once again imprisoned, although the heavy metal on my wrist had never lifted. He could leave that door wide open and I’d never be able to escape. I laid back on the thin stinking mattress and stared into the black abyss, thinking. I allowed my mind to wander to somewhere better. Like therapists on films said; go to your happy place. I didn’t really have a happy place so much as happy people: Jack, Spencer, Aaron (when he wasn’t being an ass), my Dad and brothers. I went through each face, studying it in minute detail and thinking of different memories. Jack’s Halloween outfit, Halloween night with Spencer, Aaron at the hospital after the car crash, my Dad on the day I left home, my brothers every Christmas that we spent together. Each precious memory analysed and packaged for safe keeping. I tried not to think about all the precious memories that every other woman who had laid here had had. Unable to sleep I thought about all the ways that I tried to send Jack to sleep, I landed on his favourite song and began quietly singing it to myself.

“It’s a little bit funny…” 

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

**Spencer Reid POV**

“Spencer they’re here.” Morgan came in, looking shocked that I was awake. I was sat on the edge of the sofa with my head in my hands trying to get my breath back after the dream. Well, nightmare was a better word. Morgan knelt down and gripped my shoulders firmly. “She’ll be ok.”

“Everyone keeps saying that but where’s the proof? Almost forty other people who’ve been in the same situation are dead and yet everyone’s sat around saying she’s fine.”

“Marley’s special, you of all people should know that. She’s a fighter.” I nodded, trying to cling onto some semblance of hope that she’d survive. “Her family’s just arrived.” Morgan repeated but this time I paid more attention and stood up. There was a small irrational part of my mind that wondered what her family was like and if they would like me. I’d assumed when I eventually met Marley’s family she’d be by my side trying to abate my worries. Sadly it wasn’t to be.

Her family were in JJ’s office with her gently explaining the situation to them. I stood in the doorway quietly watching them. The first thing I noticed was how young her Dad look, he couldn’t be much older than Hotch, certainly nowhere near as old as Rossi. He had a mop of black hair like Marley but his eyes were a bright blue like all of Marley’s brothers. When he was younger he would have been handsome but after years of trying to keep his family afloat and now losing his daughter he looked haggard and exhausted. He’d had to bring all of his sons with him, having no one to look after them, and they sat on the black leather sofa looking nervously around JJ’s office. All the boys were handsome although seeing how beautiful Marley was that shouldn’t have been a surprise; the eldest boys were on either end of the row, taking on a protectorate role over the younger ones who were huddled together in the middle. JJ had pulled the chair out from behind her desk and was sat close to Marley’s Father, holding his hand as she talked softly. She looked up and noticed the two of us in the doorway.

“Mr Prince…”

“Vince please.” He repeated mechanically.

“Vince, this is Spencer Reid and Derek…”

“ _Her_ Spencer?” He looked up and locked eyes with mine. I nodded slowly and he stood up quickly before taking my hand in his; his skin was calloused from years of manual labour but there was something warm and paternal in his grasp.

“She’s going to be alright, we’re not going to stop until we find her.”

“She said you were a good man.” He sighed before turning back to stare at his children. “Can we speak outside?”

“Of course, JJ can you watch them.” He nodded towards the children and JJ smiled before turning back to the boys. We lead Vince outside and across the hallway to Morgan’s office for some privacy, as we headed in Hotch appeared at the end of the corridor looking stressed. Forgetting myself I stopped and almost whimpered.

“Any news?”

“No, same as before. I… Rossi told me that Marley’s family had arrived.” He looked passed me at the anxious Vince. “Mr Prince I’m Aaron Hotchner, Marley lives with me.”

“Vince, please.” I wondered how often he’d repeated that today, begging people to call him by his real name to hang onto some semblance of normality. He nodded before motioning that we enter Morgan’s office. “Can someone _please_ tell me what the hell’s happened to her? Everything that’s happened?”

“I understand how upsetting this is for you but…”

“No. You told me on the phone you care about my daughter but you’re her boss, you’ve only known her for six months. Try twenty three years of caring for and loving her, then you might have a clue how I feel right now. I know I can’t help find her like you can, but I deserve to know what’s happened to my little girl!” He looked at me desperately and I turned to Hotch who was leaning against the doorframe for guidance.

“A man has been abducting Nannies and Marley is his latest victim.”

“What happened to the others?”  We all looked towards Hotch, no one wanted to convey the next piece of news.

“They… died.” Vince let out a wail and put his head in his hands.

“Marley’s going to be fine. We’ll find her.” I repeated my internal mantra to him.

“No one found the others, what makes you think Marley is any different?” He leaned against Morgan’s desk wiping tears from his eyes.

“You should know better than anyone what makes Marley different. We managed to get a message to her telling her what she needs to do and I know she can do it.”

“You talked to her? What did she say? Was she alright?” He looked up hopefully; I didn’t want to tell him that the two minute conversation hadn’t exactly filled us with confidence. 

“She’s a fighter.” Hotch said before pulling away from the doorframe and pulling a key out of his pocket. “Take this and I’ll get one of the agents to take you to my house.”

“I want to be close; I want to be here if anything happens.”

“We’ll let you know as soon as we get any leads. Your boys would be a lot more comfortable there.”  The last point swayed Vince, he was a good Dad and with one of his children in peril he wanted to make sure the others were safe. He nodded and took the key from Hotch before pausing.

“What about your son, it might scare him if we turn up?”

“He’s with his aunt. Please make yourself comfortable and we’ll call with any news.”

“Thank you.” Morgan opened the door and led him out to the hallway, none of us wanting to keep him away from his children for any longer than was necessary. One of the twins was stood in the doorway waiting for us.

“Well what’s going on?” He demanded, I guessed he was Jesse.

“You’re sister is… missing but she’ll be fine.”

“What do you mean by missing?” He obviously wasn’t going to be fobbed off with any excuse his Dad came up with.

“She’ll be fine.” He repeated, he’d picked up my internal mantra. I wondered if it gave him any more comfort than it gave me?

“Dad, come one…”

“Jesse, please. I can’t do this right now. She. Will. Be. Fine. That’s all you need to know, now go and get your brothers.” Jesse nodded before heading back into the room, as soon as he was out of earshot Vince let out a shaky breath. I shared a look with Hotch who was nervously biting his lower lip; I knew he hated this. Hotch’s phone began beeping and we all looked desperately at it, hoping something good had happened. 

“I’m sorry it’s just Sean.” He sighed before turning away to answer.

“His brother, Marley and he are friends.” I explained quietly to Vince before Jesse appeared again only this time his brothers were following. JJ stood at the back, her hand resting on Milo’s shoulder but as soon as he saw his Dad he lunged at him. Vince pulled him up into his arms, despite the fact he was far too big to be held like that but I guessed both of them just needed some kind of comfort.

“JJ is going to take you back to Hot… Aaron’s house and stay with you.” Morgan explained while JJ nodded, smiling kindly at the boys in an attempt to put them at ease. We walked them down to the underground car park where the SUV’s were kept, Morgan had checked out one of the bigger ones so that the family could travel together. Now wasn’t a time to separate them.

“As soon as we hear anything you’ll be the first to hear.” I promised Vince as the family got ready to embark. He grabbed my hand in a crashing embrace, the only outward sign of his inner turmoil, it made me realise how grateful I was to the team; they’d held my hand and let me cry out all my anguish. Vince had to stay strong for his children, at least on the outside. He held onto my hand for a few seconds more before whispering “thank you” and heading back towards the car.

“Are you alright, Kid?” Morgan asked as we watched them drive away.

“We just need to get her home.”  

 


	23. Watching

**23\. Watching**

**Spencer Reid POV**

It was 5 o’clock in the evening, 31 minutes until we’ knew whether she was still alive. She could already be dead; he may be in the process of hiding her body already. I bit down on lip and leaned against Garcia’s desk.

“Check again, Garcia.”

“Sweetie I’m doing the best I can but there are too many single Fathers who hire Nannies.”

“You have a lot more to go on then that!” I snapped.

“Ok pretty boy I think you need a break.” Morgan soothed as he walked in the door.

“Don’t call me Pretty boy! And if you hadn’t noticed Marley’s missing, we don’t have time for a break!” I snarled, a small part of my brain registered that these were my friends who were doing everything in their power to find her but I was just so angry that we’d come up with nothing.

“We’ve got something.” Rossi sighed as he walked in. Hotch and he had headed off to canvas the neighbourhood to see if anyone had noticed someone strange hanging around,  Morgan and I had done the college and Jack’s school and Emily had read through coroners reports’ on the other victims.

“What?” I was almost afraid to ask; from the look on his face it wasn’t good.

“Aaron’s apartment was covered in miniature cameras.” Sickness bubbled inside me. _He’d been watching her._ All this time, he’d watched her. I wondered where they’d been hidden; had he seen her getting dressed, watched her playing with Jack, putting him to bed. The thought disgusted me.

“Does Vince know?” I asked, worried how Marley’s Dad would take the news his daughter had been watched for months.

“No, he was in the other room when we found the first one. Then I kept him out the way while we scoured the rest of the house, I’ve sent him to Jess’ with Sean while CSI go over the apartment. I think he knows something’s up but he didn’t ask, I don’t think he wanted to know.” Rossi sighed while I bit down hard enough on my bottom lip to draw blood. The iron taste didn’t mix well with my bubbling stomach and I had to concentrate hard on my breathing to keep from throwing up.

“Where’s Hotch?” Morgan asked his hand back on my shoulder.

“He needed some time; I think he went to the bathroom.” I shrugged off Morgan’s hand and headed in the direction of the bathroom, knowing exactly how he was feeling. I opened the brown wooden door to see Hotch leaning over one of the white basins, his whole frame shaking as he retched. I didn’t move, not wanting to disturb him as I knew how private he was. Eventually he managed to pull himself together and wash out his mouth. I didn’t think he knew I was there until he spoke, his voice hoarse and his face still staring into the sink.

“There were cameras in Jack’s room. In her room. After Foyet I made sure, _sure,_ that everything in that apartment was water tight. Never anyone in or out without credentials, never left alone. State of the art security equipment. I thought we were safe but he was watching them. I let them down.”

“Aaron.” I would never usually call my boss by his first name but right now he needed the kind of comfort that came from a more intimate relationship, even if it was just a name. “You couldn’t have known.”

“I should have, I was meant to protect them. I promised Haley I would look after Jack and I let someone watch him. And what about Marley? She comes to live with me and I let this happen.”

“Aaron!” I snapped. “This is NOT your fault, how the hell were you supposed to know what he was up to? She doesn’t blame you, she told you so.” I knew he didn’t believe me but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t try. My anger for Hotch had dissipated, yes he shouldn’t have thrown her out into the night but this unsub had been watching them for God knows how long. He would have got her whatever.

“She didn’t know the whole story.”

“She knew enough.” I countered. “Aaron, when we catch this monster we will make him pay. I promise.” I meant it too, I wanted to beat the life out of him with my bare hands, feel his blood on my skin, watch the life leave his eyes and I know I did it. It was the same feeling out unsubs probably had before they killed someone and it scared me. But I couldn’t control it, the more I thought about it the stronger it got. 

“The queue to make him pay is getting mighty long.” Rossi noted as he opened the door. “Have you seen the time?” I yanked my watch around until I could see the clock, it was quarter to six.

“She’s still alive.” It was the first time I’d smiled in days. She’d done it, she’d managed to keep the pretence up long enough to pass phase one. I looked at Hotch, he wasn’t smiling but there was relief written all over his face. We had more time. Now all we needed was a lead.

“Hotch! Reid!” Garcia squealed as she barged into the men’s room. “I know where he found them!”

“Garcia, I love you.” Hotch hugged her tightly, shocking us all. “How?”

“Well I knew he had to find them through their jobs but there was no database but he is fast proving his computer savvy. So, I hacked into Marley’s computer and found that she was a member of this chat room…”

“Chat room? That doesn’t sound like Marley.” I frowned.

“No it was nothing bad. I looked into it and it was a help site for first time Nannies to help each other. It was used as a resource by different agencies to help their new members. And guess what, every other girl was a member of one of these chat rooms at one point.”

“How did he find out who they were, I thought people had user names?” I could tell Hotch was praying Marley hadn’t been stupid enough to give out his personal details online.

“Don’t worry she didn’t tell anyone anything about you or Jack. She was mostly talking about homesickness, poor baby. But he had a way in; all he had to do was make up a name for himself and then send a virus into their computers to access personal details.”

“Then hack into agencies to find their details and who they worked for.” Rossi finished.

“That takes some patience, the amount of girls he must go through to find the ones he wants.” Morgan breathed out from behind Garcia. I hadn’t even noticed him come in.

“Tell me about it.” Garcia sighed. “I also think that’s how he knew when to plant the cameras. I’d have to check the computer but if he could use the virus to access her webcam then he’d know when you guys were out.”

“Can you trace him?” Hotch asked urgently.

“I’ll trace him back to the stone age if I have to, but…”

“But.” Hotch growled.

“But, he’s sophisticated and… if he’s covered his tracks then it might be difficult…”

“Difficult! You’re meant to be the best; I don’t care how _difficult_ it is!” Hotch barked before storming out the room. Garcia looked as if she was about to cry but I squeezed her shoulder as I passed.

“I know you can do it.”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

**Marley POV**

“You passed part one!” He told me excitedly. I looked up, suddenly realising the time, we had been playing monopoly for the third time that day. I stared at the clock, half passed five and I was still alive. It was a nice surprise. I probably should have been more ecstatic but I knew that getting ahead of myself would make mistakes more likely.

“That’s good, I’m glad I can stay here with you.” I gave my best fake smile and put a happy slant in my voice. My acting skills were coming along nicely.

“So am I. There is something I’m worried about though.”

“What’s that? I’ll do anything I can to fix it.” He turned away and headed out of the room, only to return a second later with a handful of paper. He laid the pile down in front of me and began sorting it out. They were pictures, dozens of them. At first I thought they were just of me but then I realised the real theme; Spencer. He was in every picture. The last one he showed me had been screwed up in anger; it was the kiss we’d shared in the street on Halloween. I was dressed in the black cat outfit with my legs wrapped around his waist as he pulled me against him; a brief flash passed through me as I remembered the feelings of that night. “Spencer.”

“You shouldn’t be with him. Nannies aren’t allowed to have boyfriends.” He growled angrily at me. “I worked so hard to find you and then you nearly spoilt it all with him, but you’re amazing when we’re alone. So you need to stay alone.”

“I’m here alone with you.”

“That’s not enough. You’re never to see him again. He needs to pay.” With that he picked up the gun from beside the board and checked that it was loaded.

“No!” I screamed and tried to launch myself at him only to be held back by the chains.

“See, whenever he’s mentioned, you act ridiculous. It ends tonight.” He swept from the room, leaving me sobbing on the floor, begging for Spencer. My mind swam to new depths of hell as I thought of my lover being murdered. He’d be fine, he was surrounded by FBI agents who were already on high alert. No one would let John hurt him. Still, tears streamed unchecked down my face and my heart ached as if he’d stabbed my multiple times. I curled up in a ball and prayed harder than I ever had before for his safety. It felt like hours passed as I lay there, eyes tightly screwed up as I prayed and begged for his safety.

Then, a metallic thud by my head. I reluctantly looked up to see a bullet casing resting by my nose.

“You’re mine. He’s dead.”     

            


	24. Bullet

**24\. Bullet**

**Spencer POV**

“I found the bastard!” Garcia screamed as she flung herself into the conference room where Morgan and I were debating how he could have bypassed Hotch’s security system. “I had to back hack his IP back to the big bang but I’ve got an address!” We leapt up and lunged towards the door, only Morgan actually thinking to ask Garcia to text us the address. I irritably thumped the elevator doors in a bid to get them to open quicker. Morgan grinned at me.

“We’re going to find her.” In hindsight we shouldn’t have got our hopes up so high. We expected to find her alive. That wasn’t what we found. But I didn’t know that so I was just as excited to get the lead as the others. I could almost feel Marley’s soft satin skin against my body as I raced after Morgan down to the underground garage and flung ourselves into the underground garage towards the nearest SUV we could find and piling in. Morgan took full advantage of the sirens and lights as we pulled onto the main road and sped off in the direction of the address Garcia had texted him while I held onto the dashboard as we bumped along the road with all the other cars moving quickly out of the way. I bit down on my lip and prayed to a God I didn’t believe in that she would be fine. Luckily the apartment block was close by, to think she’d been so close all that time and we hadn’t known. It was a high end block in the middle of a classy area of Washington; it was hard to imagine how no one could have noticed him bringing a kidnapped girl into the apartment.

The car screeched to a halt outside the front door of the apartment, taking up two parking spaces and causing an elderly couple to jump in fright as they sat holding hands on a bench situated on a strip of grass by the entrance. They looked like they sat there for hours at a time; how had they not noticed the new tenant carrying a screaming girl into the building? I flung open the car door and ran for the building, Morgan screamed behind me that I needed to out the bullet proof vest on but I ignored him and continued running into the building. Morgan continued screaming at me as we headed into the lobby, he had pulled on his vest and was carrying mine but I refused to stop and carried on running up the stairs towards the third floor.

“Reid, don’t be stupid! He’s armed!” Morgan yelled but I couldn’t stop running. Any semblance of common sense had rushed out the window, all I cared about was finding Marley. The apartment was the first one beside the staircase and I slammed my foot against it. It only took two tries before the door burst open. I didn’t wait for Morgan, running into the apartment with no backup and no vest. The living room and dining room were clear so I headed down the hall towards the bedroom. Something felt wrong, how had he got her here without anyone noticing and where had he kept her? I should have stopped and listened to the feeling that was growing with every breath I took but instead I powered on in the hope that she would be around the next corner. I paused at the bedroom door, suddenly hit by indecision, something was definitely wrong. I should have waited for one of the others before I entered. But no, with a final deep breath I’d pushed open the door.

The room was empty except for a laptop lying on the floor. I walked towards it feeling incredibly stupid. _We’d been set up._ Still I didn’t realise the trap I’d walked into. I heard a movement and assumed it was Morgan.

“We’ve been set up, she’s not here.” I sighed rubbing my face angrily. We should have known it wasn’t going to be this easy.

“No, she’s not.” I froze at the unfamiliar voice from behind me as my entrails turned to ice. I slowly turned around until I was face to face with Marley’s captor. He held a gun levelled squarely at my chest. I pulled my gun up before realising that I couldn’t actually fire it without taking away all hope of finding Marley. I’d have to aim for his leg. “She’s better off without you. She nearly blew everything because of you”

“Reid!” Morgan called from somewhere else in the apartment. I turned my head at the sound of his voice and the unsub used my distraction to fire a shot. Pain flared through my side and I fell back beside the laptop. Morgan came racing into the room gun drawn but his eyes fell first on me lying prone on the floor trying to breathe through the pain engulfing my body. The unsub turned and fired at Morgan who thankfully dropped out the way before firing his own shot, but he was too late, the unsub was already running.

“Hotch he’s on the fire escape. Reid’s been shot!” He shouted into his earpiece as he ran to my side.

“Go get him I’m fine!” I snapped and tried to sit up. Morgan looked struck by indecision but I glared at him and he leapt up and raced after the unsub. I had no choice but to lie on the floor clutching my side, blood was pumping from the wound in my side and I wasn’t sure how bad the wound was. What only seemed like a few minutes passed before Rossi was by my side pressing his hand against my wound.

“It doesn’t look too deep, you’ll be fine.” He promised but it was hard to believe him when sweat of prickling my forehead and every breath felt like a fire was incinerating my lungs.

“Did… did they find him.” I stuttered finding it increasingly hard to speak.

“They’re… still searching.” The pause told me all I needed to know, we’d lost him. I could hear the sirens in the street below, someone had called for help but it wasn’t the help I wanted. My mind wandered back to the night I was attacked by Dorman and Marley comforted me with our first kiss. That was the only kind of medical attention I wanted right now.  _"So in your opinion it’s medically advisable for me to kiss you again. Do you agree, Dr. Reid?"_ A sob escaped my throat as I thought about Marley’s soft lips, Rossi must have thought I was in pain because he began making soothing sounds and pressing his hands more firmly against my side. The fatherly gesture was something I wasn’t used to but it made me feel marginally better. Rossi looked up when he heard the EMT’s entering the apartment and reluctantly moved away from me so I could be surrounded by two young men who began pressing things against my side.

“No drugs.” I managed to stutter out, the two of them looked quizzically at each other.

“Sir, it will make you more comfortable.” 

“He said no.” Rossi snapped from his position watching over me like a guardian angel. The men seemed to know better than to argue with him and began simply prepping me for the stretcher. They each slid their hands under me and on the count of three pulled me onto the stretcher; the pain was unbearable as if I was being pulled in two and I yelled out. Calling for Marley. I remembered her comment when she found out about the first time I was shot, _"By the sound of things I'd better get myself used to hospital food if I'm going to be your girlfriend."_ She wasn’t going to be there this time; instead she was locked up in some dank basement waiting to be rescued.

“Reid, it’s going to be fine. She’ll see you soon.” Neither of us believed it but it was something comforting to say. The EMT’s began to lift me out of the room and Rossi followed behind. Keeping up the pretence of a guardian angel.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

I was lucky. That’s what everyone kept telling me. He must have been a bad shot because the bullet only grazed my side so I only needed some stiches, I was meant to be grateful. But how could I be when we’d lost our only lead? Morgan had been shot at once again and this time his arm had been grazed by the bullet, slowing him down sufficiently for the bastard to get away. Now it just meant two agents were injured and trying to get out of the hospital with the doctors telling us we needed “recuperation time.” All I wanted to do was go back to the office and find Marley but Hotch was listening to the doctors and telling us to stay in for at least a few more hours. I supposed I’d been somewhat helpful in sitting with a sketch artist and mapping out the features of the bastard. I’d never forget that face; dark hair, sallow skin, sunken gray eyes and a scar that marred his forehead. He reminded me slightly of Lenny from _“Of Mice and Men,”_ when I’d pointed that out to the artist he’d laughed. I’d wanted to punch him. But even that only took half an hour and the rest of the time I sat there desperately wanting to be back in the bullpen finding her, doing something, anything.

“How are you feeling Dr. Reid?” One of the nurses asked as she walked in to check in on me.

“Fine, I’m just going to check in on a friend.” I slowly stood up, feeling a burst of pain from each movement.

“Do you want some help?” She asked as she moved forward and clutched my arm. Her hands were rougher than Marley’s and she had bitten down nails that scratched my skin.

“I’m fine, thanks.” I shrugged her off and headed for the door. Slow and steady. Luckily Morgan’s room was just down the hall so I didn’t have to contend with the searing ache of my stomach muscles for too long. His door was ajar and I could hear raised voices.

“She’s survived this long!” Morgan growled at his companion.

“Things have changed.” Rossi sounded exasperated with Morgan, as if talking to a slow child.

“How?”

“You heard what Reid said, _“She’s better off without you. She nearly blew everything because of you.”_ So he tried to get rid of Reid…”

“And he failed!”

“Do you honestly think he’ll tell her that?” Morgan had no argument for that. “No, he’ll tell her he’s dead and she’ll lose it. Boom, fantasy over!”

“You don’t know that! She’s strong.”

“She is, I don’t doubt that but when faced with something like this she _will_ break. She loves him and now she’ll think he’s dead because of her.”

“She’ll see through it…” Morgan was quickly losing his conviction.

“Morgan, we need to be the strong ones here. For Reid and Aaron. We have to accept the very real possibility that she’s already dead.”  

   


	25. Guilt

**25\. Guilt**

**Marley POV**

He was dead and it was all my fault. I’d killed the one good thing in my life. I could still remember that one moment of utter perfection when I’d woken up in his embrace after our first, and only, night together. Everything about Spencer made life a little brighter; the statistics he spurted at random intervals, the genuine smile and sweet kisses. The way he’d said I love you; I wished I’d been able to see his face when he said it. I could imagine the light blush spreading across his cheeks as if worried I wouldn’t reciprocate those feelings (as if that was even possible), his eyes would look down and he’d bite his bottom lip as he waited for my reaction. When I told him I loved him back his eyes would light up like a child on Christmas and he’d brush his sweet lips against mine. The idea of everything we could have shared burned into me like a brand on my heart. Everything we’d lost. I could see Spencer lying cold and pale on a slab with a bullet hole in his heart.

“I love you baby, I am so so sorry. I love you.” I sobbed, curling in on myself as I cried. I wanted him to come back and finish me off. I wanted to join him in an afterlife I knew he didn’t believe in. hell; I’d even take his idea of complete nothingness just to get away from the agony I felt thinking about my dead lover. John had disappeared after giving me the news but I knew he would be back soon and I’d have to play along or I’d die. But did I want to play along anymore?

There was only one thing stopping me from taking the easy option: Jack. He’d lost his Mom and despite the pain I felt right now it seemed incredibly selfish to leave him with that pain again. Spencer wouldn’t want me to leave him. Spencer probably wouldn’t want to be dead because of me either, a voice in my head hissed back angrily. I buried my head further into my knees and choked out a sob. _Dead._ Spencer had always been so alive I couldn’t imagine there being no more statistics from those lips. How could such an amazing mind just cease to think? I tried to shake the vision off and think about Jack’s excitement when he scored a goal at the last meeting but Spencer’s cold dead eyes kept interrupting. How could I look his murderer in his face and play games with him? I was glad he’d left me alone after delivering the news; it gave me time to try and get my head straight. Not that it was working. All I could think about was Spencer and how I’d let him down. _Do it for Jack, stay strong for him. Once he’s strong enough to be on his own then you can go and be with Spencer._ It was the best idea I had.

The door suddenly opened and in came John. I hated that face more than I had hated anyone else in my entire life. The face that had once seemed naïve and troubled now held an evil edge to it. I stared into the eyes that bared the soul of a deranged criminal. Now he was back I wasn’t so sure I could do it. How could I pretend I loved him like Jack when he’d murdered Spencer? He walked into the room nervously, as if worried about my reaction.

“It had to be done.” He stated simply.

“No it didn’t.” I shot back. “He was a good man. He would have helped you.”

“There are rules. No boyfriends was the top one.” I glared back at him angrily. I couldn’t do this. “Please, we’ve come so far. I killed someone for you.”

“No you didn’t! If you did it for me then you wouldn’t have killed him! I love him!” I screamed angrily at him. A tiny voice in my head told me I was a few seconds away from going down the road of no return but no matter how hard it screamed the rest of me was too angry and hurt to listen. He shoved his hands against his ears and began humming loudly.

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!” He began screaming. _Careful Marley, think about what you’re doing._ One voiced warned in my head. _No._ said the other.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\      

**Spencer Reid POV**

“She’s alive!” I screamed angrily, slamming into the room and making the others jump.

“Reid, what you heard… it was out of context.” Rossi began but I shot him down.

“No, you’ve given up on her!”

“Come off it Reid, I care about her too. We don’t want to accept it either, and you have to remember we’re just looking at the worst case scenario.” I glared at him angrily.

“She’ll be fine, she has to be… For Jack.” I began, feeling tears begin to drip down my cheeks because I knew deep down that they had a point.

“Reid, we are going to do everything we can to find her, I promise.” Morgan pulled me into a gentle hug and I leaned against his chest. Suddenly, Rossi’s phone went off and we pulled apart to look at him. He was struggling to pull it out of his pocket and I couldn’t help but get agitated, after all they might have news or a lead. When he finally pulled it out and looked at the caller ID it was Hotch.

“Put it on speaker phone.” I ordered and thankfully he complied.

“Hotch.” Rossi started.

“Is Reid with you?” Hotch sounded like he’d been crying. My stomach dropped down into my toes. Something had happened.

“You’re on speakerphone with the three of us.”

“Can you go outside?”

“No!” I snapped angrily. “Hotch what’s happened?”

“They’ve found a body.” I couldn’t have heard that right. She couldn’t be…

“Reid?” Hotch asked quietly but I couldn’t answer. Instead I slumped down on the bed with my head in my hands. Tears began flowing down my cheeks. I’d let her down. The best thing I’d ever had in my life was dead and it was all my fault. “Reid they still haven’t positively ID’d her, it might not…” He trailed off as he ran out of steam; I mean who else was it going to be?

“Where is she?” I couldn’t let her be alone.

“In the morgue of the hospital you’re in. Rossi’s going to go down and see if… if it’s her.” 

“I’ll do it.”

“Reid no.” Morgan began but I cut him off with a wave of my hands.

“I’m not leaving her alone. I need to be with her.” I started for the door, not caring about finishing the conversation with Hotch. I needed to see her.

“I’ll be there soon. Look after her, Rossi.” Hotch whispered as Rossi disconnected the call and followed me out of the room with Morgan bringing up the rear. The pain in my side didn’t matter anymore; my body was being torn apart by a new pain that nothing could repair. I shuffled along to the elevator and stabbed at the buttons which were blurred from the tears that engulfed my eyes. I leaned against the wall and sobbed. I remembered her smile on the morning we woke up after Halloween night. She was the most beautiful, caring and loving woman I’d ever met. Now because of her loving nature she was dead. I should have called her that night. I should have called.

“Reid it might not…”

“You were right.”

“I wish I wasn’t.” Rossi put a guiding hand on my shoulder and helped me into the elevator where I leaned back against the wall. We descended down into the pits of hell to the lowest floor where the morgue was kept. I’d never seen a corridor that was so long, and at the end… at the end was her.

“You don’t have to do this Reid, we’ll go.” Morgan whispered quietly.

“No, I need to do this. She deserves this much.” With that I leaned on Morgan and began the slow walk down the corridor. It was like an optical illusion; no matter how far we walked it never seemed to get any closer. In the time it took to walk to the end I thought about all the other dead bodies I’d stood over and probed. I would happily let all those victims be tortured again juts to keep her safe. I would be buried alive by Hankel just so that beautiful heart would keep beating. _I love you._ Once we reached the door Rossi asked me one more time if I wanted to do this. Now I wasn’t so sure. But I couldn’t leave her lying there alone. I nodded and allowed him to lead me into the room.

The body was in the middle of the room with a white sheet pulled over it. But a tuft of black curly hair had escaped the sheet. It was the same colour and length as Marley’s. The anonymous man in the green scrubs moved towards the table and prepared to pull the sheet back. Morgan and Rossi turned towards me, giving me the final say on when to reveal Marley’s body. I waited a few seconds, savouring each second I had when there was still a glimmer of hope that she was alive. I gripped Morgan’s hand tightly in my own before nodding my head.

He pulled back the sheet.       


	26. Hope?

**26\. Hope?**

**Spencer Reid POV**

“Reid, come back!” Morgan screamed but I couldn’t stop running. I had to get out. Get away from her. I ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time to get as far away as I could. I pushed through a set of doors into a corridor I hadn’t seen before but I continued running. There was a bathroom on the left about half way down and I threw myself into it. I didn’t know exactly why I wanted to go in there but the pain in my side had started up again. I flung myself against the wall and slid down it until I sat on the floor with my knees tucked under my chin. My shirt was sticking to my side and I guessed my stiches had come open but I couldn’t bring myself to care. Not after what I had just witnessed. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall as tears began to roll. The door banged and I felt a presence in front of me. I opened my eyes and saw Morgan’s concerned face staring back at me.

“It wasn’t her Reid. It wasn’t her.”

“No, but soon it will be.” I choked out. I would never forget the feeling of trepidation as the body had been revealed. I’d looked. And looked again. I’d stared for a few seconds and closed my eyes before looking again. I was waiting for the features to morph into Marley’s, but it stayed the same. The cheekbones were too high, the lips too thin and there was a small birthmark on her forehead, but it was she was similar enough to have me imagining Marley’s features. I should have felt some sort of relief that I wasn’t staring down at my girlfriend but I didn’t. This girl was the same age as Marley, had been killed in the same way. It felt like a premonition of what was to come. Morgan gripped my arm but I pushed him off and spun around before racing out of the room. I couldn’t bear to look at the dead girl any more.

“Reid we’ve got to stay strong. She’ll make it.”

“That’s not what you said earlier.” I sniffed before wiping my eyes with my sleeve.

“I’m sorry about what I said Reid. I shouldn’t have…” Rossi began looking pensive as he leaned against the washbasin.

“No, you only said what everyone else was thinking.” I leaned back against the wall, depression seeping through my body as I realised the huge mountain we had to climb before we got anywhere near Marley.

“No, Reid. We are not giving up on her. She’s hung on this far. Now, I’m sure Hotch won’t moan too much if I take you back to the office.” Rossi gave me a small smile as Morgan helped me up. “Once they re-stitch you up of course.” Rossi tentatively touched my side where blood was seeping into the fabric of my new shirt. I hissed from the contact and he quickly pulled his hand away before leaning on Morgan as we slowly made our way out of the bathroom. All the adrenaline had left my body and I felt a desperate need to sit down to quell the shaking of my legs.

The doctor wasn’t particularly amused to see that all of his handiwork had gone to waste but after one of Rossi’s glares he quietly got to work stitching my side back up. The pain was unbearable but I refused to take anything, although this case was enough to send me spinning back to Dilaudid I had to stay strong. Morgan was leaning against the wall watching the Doctor while Rossi had stepped outside to tell Hotch that the girl wasn’t Marley. I wondered if they had found anything out. Maybe Garcia had dug something up online. She was always good for a lead when they needed one. Once the Doctor had finished and given me a blunt warning to not do anything strenuous until the stitches were fully healed. Morgan made him some fake reassurances that I’d stay sat down that not one of us believed but it was enough for him to let me go without too much fuss.

“I’ll get the car, you two do as the doctor ordered and stay still.” Rossi warned as he left us by the glass doors of the hospital reception. We leaned against them and watched as the world went by; a couple with a baby appeared at the door. The small baby was wrapped in a blue blanket lying in its Mother’s arms as who I guessed was the Father ran off to get the car. It shouldn’t have hit me the way it did. I mean Marley and I hadn’t been dating very long and it wasn’t as if I had a burning desire to have a baby. But one day, maybe… I shook my head at the thought. It was hardly conductive to getting Marley back. Rossi pulled in before the woman’s partner and I couldn’t help risking a look back at the woman who was rocking the baby and staring lovingly at it.

“Hey Reid, you can ride shotgun.” Morgan offered as I looked away from the two of them. I nodded my thanks before tentatively sliding in beside Rossi. As the car began driving down the road back to the BAU, I leaned against the window and let my eyes drift shut. I was exhausted and the soothing rumble of the engine helped me to drift away into sleep. I was scared of the dreams that would come. Nightmares of Marley’s dead body.

Luckily for me my mind decided that there could be good dreams too.   

_She wore a white dress. It was satin with thin lace straps that covered her shoulders; she always was a stickler for tradition. The dress synched in at the waist before flowing out with a small train. There was sequined detail across the bust and down the right side. Most of her hair was pulled back into a bun with a lace veil pinned underneath while a few strands had been curled so they fell around her face in ringlets. She knew I loved her curly hair, even if she hated it. Her Father held her arm as they made the slow progress up the aisle. It was an old fashioned Church, who knew I’d ever get married on a church. But I knew Marley was religious, would that be the deal: curled hair for a church wedding? They stopped a step or two behind me and Vince kissed her cheek before letting go of her hand and giving it to me. It was soft as always and on her third finger a diamond sparkled on a gold band. Her hand moved slightly so that she could interlink our fingers before giving me a gentle squeeze. The reverend began his sermon but I wasn’t listening. All I could focus on was the feeling of her hand in mine. She turned and smiled at me, her entire face lighting up as she mouthed “I love you.” I grinned at her, unable to contain my happiness that Marley was about to become my wife. “I love you too,” I promised her sincerely. We turned back to the reverend who was still continuing his monologue about the importance of love. I didn’t need him to tell me how important Marley’s love was to me. It was everything to me. Every few seconds, as if we’d timed it, we would share sidelong glances at one another. She grinned at me and squeezed my hand again as the reverend instructed us to make our vows._

_“I, Marley Elizabeth Prince, take you, Spencer William Reid, to be my lawfully wedded husband,  
secure in the knowledge that you will be my constant friend, my faithful partner in life, and my one true love. On this special day, I give to you in the presence of God and all those in attendance my pledge to stay by your side as your faithful wife in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, as well as through the good times and the bad. I promise to love you without reservation, comfort you in times of distress, encourage you to achieve all of your goals, laugh with you and cry with you, grow with you in mind and spirit, always be open and honest with you, and cherish you for as long as we both shall live.” Tears glimmered in her eyes and I felt my own eyes filling up, blurring Marley’s features as I made my own solemn promise. Morgan bought forward to gold bands which the reverend proceeded to bless before handing the smaller one to me. I slid it onto her finger, with promises of love, where it settled with the diamond she already wore. She did the same, her cold fingers gently pushing the gold band onto my finger. The weight felt unfamiliar but it was a symbol of our love and I never wanted to take it off. _

_“I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now kiss the bride.” The congregation began clapping and cheering as we leaned forward. My lips were millimetres from hers and I could feel her breath on my face, we were just about to seal the deal when…_

“Reid!” Morgan shook me awake. I could have hit him. I wanted to go back into the dream and be with Marley again. Morgan, not realising he’d pulled me away from my wedding day continued to pull at my arm to get me out of the car.

“I’m coming.” I snapped, a lot more harshly than I should have, luckily Morgan let me get away with it and let go of my arm.

“My poor babies!” Garcia appeared in the car park and raced towards us. I realized how hard it must have been for her to stay working on the case when she heard we were in hospital and allowed her to pull me into a bone shattering embrace.

“Careful Momma, he’s already broken his stitches once. That Doctor will lose it if we have to take him back again.”

“You’re just jealous.” Garcia let go of my and kissed my cheek, making me blush before turning her attention to her “Chocolate Thunder God.”

“Any news?” I asked, I wasn’t expecting anything seeing as Garcia would have been eager to depart good news and not as cheerful when she saw us if there was bad.

“We discovered he’d done it before.”

“Before? More women?” Rossi enquired.

“No, Hotch thought he had to have started somewhere else. It was so elaborated he…”

“Wouldn’t have gone into it straight away.” Morgan nodded in agreement.

“So we looked into open cases involving Nannies going back ten to fifteen years. And we found something interesting. There was a spate of stalking allegations starting ten years ago and ending five years ago, they were all involving a young man dark hair who seems to fit the description you gave Reid. Then your supreme Goddess found an attempted kidnap on a young Nanny just before the first girl.”

“You’re incredible Baby Girl.” Morgan hugged her tightly but I didn’t want to get my hopes up again.

“As if that wasn’t enough we have a geographical link. These stalking allegations followed a similar pattern. During the summer months they were reported in Hampton, in the winter they were in Maine and in-between they were New York.”

“See, we’re getting there Reid.” Morgan clapped my back and began leading me towards the elevator. I felt hopeful, we actually had something concrete to focus on. We were going to find her. Before we’d even pressed the elevator button the doors opened and Hotch appeared looking stressed.

“What’s happened?” It came out as a whimper.

“No she’s alive. She just called Jack.”       


	27. Family

**27\. Family.**

**Marley Prince POV**

“Can I speak to Jack?” The request caught me completely off guard as if it hadn’t come out of my mouth. I guess there was some semblance of self-preservation left inside me.

“You’re mine now, why would you want him?” He sounded like a petulant schoolchild.

“I never said goodbye to him. If I’m going to be with you then I should say goodbye to him.” There was my Oscar worthy acting, how I’d missed it.

“Ok.” He pulled out his phone and handed it to me. “Quickly.” Now I had to think carefully, where would Jack be? I doubted John would allow me to phone round everywhere. So I settled on Jessica’s mobile and prayed she’s answer.

“Hey, it’s Jessica.” Despite the fact she was hardly my best friend, I was ridiculously glad to hear her voice.

“Jess, its Marley. I don’t have long but I need to speak to Jack.”

“Oh God Marley! Are you…”

“Jess…” I snapped angrily, he wasn’t going to let me have too long and I needed to speak to Jack. The phone rustled but then I heard one of the most magical sounds ever; Jack’s voice.

“Marley! Where have you been? I’ve missed you!”

“I’ve missed you too Buddy. So, so much.” John stirred but I continued.

“Then why aren’t you here?” He complained.

“I’m…”

“I know you’re helping Daddy, but I still wish you were here.” _HeHHHhefbs.,bh.ns,.fbds.kfhjmfnmxbnnjjjjjhjjjhjkbhHelping Daddy._ Well, I was giving him something to do. Helping him solve it, not so much.

“I know.” I wanted to tell him that I’d be home soon but John was listening in and I didn’t want to risk upsetting him.

“I miss you.”  He repeated.

“Same, I just… I forgot to say goodbye when I left so I thought I’d ring.” I was being too formal; he’d know something was wrong. But I was trying so hard not to break down.

“You’ll be back soon, right? I miss you sooooooo much!” Jack whined and tears began to fall down my face.

“Soon, I promise. Soon, baby.” I’d get back to him, I had to. Whatever it took.

“Thirty seconds.” John abruptly informed me.

“Baby I’ve got to go. But you remember that I love you so much.”

“Ok, your Daddy wants me to say he loves you.” _Dad was there?_

“Ok baby, you tell him his little girl is alright and she loves him too.” The tears wouldn’t stop rolling as I thought of how scared my family must be. “I’ve got to go baby.”

“Bye Marley!” I shut the phone just as John reached me, and handed it back to him.

“Thank you, for letting me speak to him. Now what do you want to do?” I faked a smile and blinked away the tears. I made my choice: Jack. I couldn’t leave him alone. Spencer would understand that.

“Cards.” Jesus, couldn’t he come up with something new! I mean even Jack wasn’t this easy to entertain. It would be ok if he played like Spencer, but… _Spencer._ My heart ached and I curled in on myself as I watched John try out shuffling again. I closed my eyes and replayed our conversation, remembering each little change in his voice as he spoke. I remembered my promise to him. I wouldn’t break it. I still had a family to go back to. I wondered when the turning point had been when Aaron and Jack had gone from work to family. When I first moved in it was strictly business; I would wash my own clothes, if there was any food I wanted that wasn’t in the cupboard I bought it myself, I spent my evenings in my room chatting online to other Nannies and the weekends that Aaron was home was his and Jack’s time. Family time. I would go for a walk or to the museums on my own while they did their own thing. I could remember being so scared of Aaron, the first few weeks I barely spoke to him, I used to cry myself to sleep I felt so lonely. It seemed ridiculous now that I thought about it. Now, we were definitely a family. We had a family laundry basket, we wrote a weekly shopping list together that included all of my favourite stuff even though Aaron moaned it would kill me, I spent the evenings playing cards or watching TV with Aaron when he was home and when he was away we’d chat on the phone after Jack spoke to him and weekends were spent together. It was still family time; I was just included in the family.

“Crazy eights.” John decided as he dealt out the cards. Aaron and I usually played poker of an evening with Jack’s lego pieces, but if it got me back to them then I’d play crazy eights.

“John?” He looked up attentively. I took a deep breath, wondering why the hell I was contemplating arguing with the knife wielding psychopath; Aaron should have schooled me more in psycho- etiquette.

“Do you mind if I ask about your family?” He paused and I waited for the knife in my gut.

“My parents are dead.” His tone was blunt. Cold. “My Mom killed herself.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I reached out and squeezed his hand, hoping to get some brownie points for compassion. I was expecting to feel scales underneath my fingers but his hands were soft. “What happened to your Dad?” I really should learn to quit while I’m ahead.

“I killed him.”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\       

**Spencer Reid POV**

“Jack what did she say?” Hotch asked his son as gently as possible but I could tell he was desperate to get to the bottom of what had been said.

“But she said she was helping you, so you should know.” Jack shuffled on the sofa and hugged his Dad. Hotch froze for a minute as he tried to think of a suitable reason why we needed to know what Marley had said.

“We need to know because… Marley wanted your help while working the case so she sent a special message via you.” Hotch let out a sigh as I came up with the most ridiculous answer, however Jack seemed to buy it because he beamed at the idea of being included.

“She said she didn’t have much time. She said she missed me and she loved me. What was the secret message?” He looked eagerly at me but I couldn’t think of anything that could substitute as a message.

“Did she say anything else, Jack? It’s really important, Buddy.” Hotch pulled Jack close and kissed his head.

“Um… That she’d be home soon.” He smiled up at me while I tried not to cry.

“Thanks Buddy. Now we’ve got to go work out the secret message. Be a good boy.”

“Love you.” Jack hugged his Dad tightly and Hotch promised him that we’d all be back soon. We’d been speaking in Jess’ family room as it was less stifling than the formal room; we’d wanted Jack to be at ease when we spoke to him. As we opened the door we found Marley’s family, JJ, Sean and Jess all waiting quietly.

“Jess can you sit with the children while we talk.” Hotch asked quietly while Vince quietly sent his youngest three boys into the room with muffled protests. The rest of us headed down the hall into the kitchen area. Sean shut the door as everyone turned to us.

“This is good, right? I mean she’s still alive.” Vince looked desperately at me as he clung to one of the twins.

“It’s good, that she’s alive but…”

“But! But! My sister called, she’s alive! She managed to get hold of a five year old so why the hell can’t you find her!” The other twin, I guessed Jesse, screamed angrily.

“Jesse, keep your voice down!” His Father snapped.

“We understand how frustrating this is for you. We are doing everything we can to find her I promise.”

“We know, and we are so grateful. Aren’t we Jesse?” Vince fixed his son with a hard stare.

“I shouldn’t have yelled.” Jesse looked guilty between Hotch, his Dad and the door. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s ok…” Hotch began but I decided to take the lead on this one.

“Jesse.” I moved forward and put a hand on his shoulder, he looked up at me with bright blue eyes, watery from unshed tears. “This man doesn’t want to kill your sister, he wants her to stay with him and so far she’s doing everything to keep up his fantasy. He trusts her enough to let her call his competition in Jack. She’s strong. You know that, she looked after you didn’t she?”

“Yeah, you don’t want to get on the wrong side of her. When she put on her “Parenting voice” you knew you were in trouble.” He let out a strange sob laugh before hugging me tightly. I felt incredibly protective over Marley’s younger brother; he was shorter than me and felt bony under my hands. As if, for all the front he put on, a big bust of wind would knock him over. I squeezed his shoulders tightly as his fingers dug into back. It was a painful, desperate embrace.

“She’ll be fine.” How many times had I said or heard that in these last few days? But what else could anyone say?

“Sorry.” He whispered quietly, embarrassed.

“Don’t apologise, Jesse. It’ll give us something to tell Marls when she comes back; her boyfriend got a hug from “the island.”” Nick joked quietly.

“You won’t, she’ll want one too.” He rubbed at his nose before moving away from me.

“We need to get back to the office, but we’ll call you as soon as we hear anything.” Hotch put a hand on my shoulder to lead me out. He gave the family a sympathetic smile and I found myself doing the same thing. Hiding the fact that we had no idea where she was. Once we were outside we dropped the cheerful personas we’d put on, Hotch return to the usual stern glare that I was used to on cases while I began nervously chewing on my lip.

“I don’t understand why he let her call Jack?”

“He trusts her? Or…”

“Or?” I snapped, not wanting to think about what was coming after “or.”

“Or she was saying goodbye.”

“No. she wouldn’t tell Jack she’d see him soon and then get herself killed! Whatever you think, this _is_ a good sign.” I snarled, it was the only good news we’d had and I wasn’t about to let Hotch ruin it. He looked like he was about to argue but his phones began ringing. _Saved by the bell._

“What Rossi?.... What!... Are you sure?... No, no we’re coming!” I felt excitement begin to build inside me as I watched a smile appear on his face. _Please say they’d found her._ He hung up and turned to me. “They’ve got a name. John Carmichael.”

 


	28. Forever

**28\. Forever**

**Spencer Reid POV**

Jonathon Carmichael never stood a chance. When he was four he found his Mother’s dead body in the bathtub of their Hampton home after she’d overdosed on narcotics and fallen asleep in the bath. After that it had been one Nanny after another. Amber Burnley had been the first, and the longest serving one. It hadn’t ended well, she’d filed an unfair dismissal and sexual harassment charge against his Father but the lawyers had covered it up. No one had stayed long after that. I could imagine the confusion of the young boy as he built up a bond with someone only to have them taken away from him. It would be like losing his Mom over and over again. I couldn’t imagine how a Father could do that to his son. Although I guessed he never noticed, his work schedule was about double ours. I never even thought that that was possible. He’d spent all year on Wall Street with a couple of weeks off in the summer which he spent only holiday with his secretaries. Honestly, in the last few days Marley had probably seen more of Jonathon than his Dad had in the last twenty nine years.  He’d been institutionalised several times during his teenage years for a few months at a time; it was probably where the two minute phone rule had come from. But after his Father’s death he’d been left to his own devices. Two weeks later the attempted kidnap took place.

Sadly having a name didn’t help us find him. All of his family’s properties had been searched but he hadn’t been back to them in years, according to Garcia after his death John had disappeared off the face of the earth. The flat where I’d been shot had been paid for in cash by a man only known to the owner as “John” which meant that any other property would have been paid for in cash making him that much harder to trace. JJ had delivered several press conferences asking for help but so far no one had come forward with any knowledge that wasn’t “I saw a man walking down the street who looked a bit like him.” There were no more phone calls from John or Marley but that was good news. Still it was hard to concentrate on the silver lining when we were hitting dead end after dead end. Time seemed to be slipping away like sand in an hour glass, until we reached the seventy two hour mark.

 Marley was now a record breaker; she’d lasted longer than all the other girls.

Three days had passed since she’d been abducted off the street and we might as well be back at the beginning for all we had. Yes we had a name, but Jonathon was a ghost. Sleep became a thing of the past, we all grabbed a few hours when we could but all I did was dream. Never the good dreams with Marley in a white dress. No, now I had a recurring dream where Marley was falling down a dark chasm, desperately reaching out of for me and calling my name but the further I reached the quicker she seemed to fall until she vanished from sight and I was left dangling over the precipice. I woke calling her name. I knew Hotch did the same.

Minutes turned into hours. Hours turned into days. And the days turned into a week. Seven days of hell, each second I stared at her picture on that damned bulletin board it felt like pins were being stabbed into my skin over and over again until it became one continuous shard of blistering pain.

Then we got the call. At 5:31, seven days after the first Hotch’s phoned buzzed in his pocket. We were all in the conference room; it was something we did every day at this time; we regrouped and stared at the phone, praying it wouldn’t ring, and afterwards when it didn’t we breathed a collective sigh of relief before planning what we were going to do next. Not on that evening though, instead the phone rang. I stared down at it in horror and heard Hotch let out a strange sound. It was over. I wonder where that son of a bitch had left her body. Hotch waited a few seconds before picking up the phone. I understood why he waited, once the words were said it was real, right now there was a tiny miniscule of hope left. But we had to answer it eventually.

“You should be proud of her, she’s passed.” It took us all a few seconds to process what he’d said, staring at one another for confirmation that we’d heard correctly; she was still alive.

“Passed?” Hotch queried.

“She’s my new Nanny. She’s mine. My Mum will love her; we’re going to be one big happy family.”

“Can I speak to her? To congratulate her.” He huffed but agreed with a curt ‘fine’ before static burst through the phone as we waited to hear Marley.

“So, you’ve heard the good news.” I closed my eyes in relief at the sound of her voice; she didn’t sound as scared as before, instead she sounded exhausted.

“Well we all know you are the Armani bag of Nannies.” Hotch whispered quietly.

“Yeah, if you’re into card games and peanut butter sandwiches.” She took a deep shaky breath before continuing. “You promised you’d come.”

“I’m working on it; we haven’t slept in days trying to find you. I promise Marley I will _never_ give up on you. While there’s breath left in my body I won’t stop looking for you.”

“Once we leave you’ll never find us Aaron.”

“You’re leaving?”

“We’re going home. And no, I don’t know where that is.”

“We have his name, Jonathon Carmichael.”

“I could have told you that. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t snap at you. I… I just miss you, and Jack… and Spen… Spencer. Was... was it quick?” Before anyone could answer Rossi lunged forward and put his hand over the speaker before thrusting a piece of paper into the middle of the table; **Do NOT tell her he’s alive. **We all stared at him in horror, how could he ask us to keep her in the dark over this. I could see the indecision of Hotch’s face; he didn’t want to lie her but he respected Rossi and knew he wouldn’t ask him to do something like that without a damn good reason.

“What’s important right now is getting you home, Jack’s missed you so much. Just hold tight Marls.” Hotch glared at Rossi as he said it, I knew he hated lying to her. She let out a whimper and I looked up nervously, hoping the ‘confirmation’ of my death wouldn’t scare her into doing something stupid. Hotch seemed to be thinking the same thing because he began trying to placate her. “Do you remember talking to Jack? He was so excited to hear from you.”

“He was?”

“Of course, he loves you. We all do.” He dropped his head in his hands and let out a shaky breath. Emily reached over and squeezed his shoulder while I used up every ounce of self-restraint I had not to tell her we’d find her.

“I’ve got to go.” She sighed.

“I’ll see you soon.” Hotch promised, it sounded like she said something but static took the words away as Jonathon snatched the phone away and disconnected the call.

“Why the hell did you do that!?” I screamed at Rossi as I threw myself out of the chair which collapsed behind me. Morgan lunged up and grabbed my shirt to hold me back as Rossi also jumped up from his seat.

“To protect her.” He stated bluntly, keeping his voice steady in contradiction to the fury that was surging through my body. “Just listen to me for one minute! She has thought you were dead for days but she’s managed to cope for Jack. If she found out he lied about killing you then she would get angry again, and despite what he says about her ‘passing’ I doubt that would stop him killing her if she got him angry! When we get her she can know the truth but until then she needs to believe you’re dead.”

“It could have backfired.” I whispered coldly, unable to meet his gaze. “Confirming it could have made her do something stupid.”

“It could have.” He agreed evenly. “But I took an educated guess that she had already come to terms with your death and finding out you were alive would have made things worse.”

“This is her life, not some poker game. You shouldn’t be making educated guesses with her life!” I yelled and pushed against Morgan’s tight hold on me.

“If this was any other case you wouldn’t be questioning my judgement. You need to keep your head clear.”

“How dare…”

“Enough!” Hotch yelled. “You heard what she said, he’s taking her somewhere and we have to work out where.” I slowly sat down, knowing he was right but still angry with Rossi even if a small part of me understood exactly why he’d done it. “JJ, I want road blocks set up. Let’s try and stop him before he leaves with her. The rest of us need to find out where ‘home’ would be to him.”

Everyone nodded and turned back to the task in hand, glad to have a new lead that we could look into. Prentiss and Hotch began rereading through the notes we had made on Jonathon to try and find out where exactly his home would be, Garcia was trying to track down Amber to see if she could help us while Morgan and I listened to the recording Garcia had made of the telephone conversation. It was testimony to our exhaustion that it took us three listens for Morgan to pick up on what should have been blinding obvious from the beginning.

“He said his Mother would love her.”

“And?” I rubbed tiredly at my eyes.

“His Mom’s dead.” That made me look up.

“We’re going to be one big happy family.” A horror no words could ever convey filled me as the realisation of his earlier words began to dawn on me.

“He found her dead in the bathroom of their Hampton home.” Morgan whispered quietly. It took us less than a fraction of a second to leap from our seats and begin to race down the hallway, Morgan phoning Hotch as we made it to the elevator. “The Hampton home! He’s going to kill her so they can be with his Mom!”   

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\        

  **Marley POV**

“Where are we?” I asked as he stopped the car in a wooded clearing. We’d been driving for hours and I had absolutely no idea where we were but for the last few miles we’d left the main road and headed down a juddering mud road further and further into the woods. I was a city girl, the woods had never appealed to me. The clearing was fairly large with a small brook flowing along the right side and long nettles making the left side impenetrable.

“Home.” He shut off the engine before turning to face me. Our relationship confused me; I hated him with every fibre in my being for killing Spencer, but sometimes he could be so childlike and innocent that it was impossible to imagine him doing something so horrific. “My Mom used to take me here all the time. She said it was our special place.”

“It’s nice.” I agreed quietly but my heart had sunk down to my toes. There was no way Aaron would find me here. I’d had all my senses about me when I drove here but I wouldn’t be able to even begin explaining how to get here.

“I used to come here a lot after she died and it always felt as if she was here in spirit. Now we can all be together. We’ll use the brook.”

“Use it?”

“My Mom drowned. It’s only right that we do too.” 


	29. Run

**29\. Run.**

**Spencer Reid POV**

“Reid…” Morgan started.

“Don’t.” I snapped back. I knew what he was about to say that we’d been wrong about the Hampton house. We had arrived over an hour ago and so far there was nothing. A local PD team had been hidden at the house but they’d seen nothing either. We were all getting anxious, he’d had a head start and none of the road blocks had picked him up so if he was coming here he should have been here by now.

“She’s running out of time and this was our only lead.” I nearly sobbed as I leaned back against the leather seat of the SUV we’d parked in the woods behind the house. The rest of the team was hidden around the house and I was sure they were getting just as angsty. Morgan’s phone began jumping around on the dashboard and he snatched it up and put it on speaker.

“Baby girl please tell me you have something?” He begged.

“I’ve finally found Amber and she’s agreed to talk to you. Do you want me to patch her through?”

“Please.”

“Hello?” A quiet, scared voice replaced the comfort of Garcia’s voice.

“Amber Burnley, this is Agents Morgan and Reid with the behaviour analysis unit of the FBI, we’ve got some questions about Jonathon Carmichael.”

“I know, the last agent said. Listen are you sure it’s him? He was such a good boy, he’d never hurt anyone!”

“He has.” I snapped angrily. “And now we’re running out of time to save his last victim. You were the person he was closest to, so you must know what would be home to him. It’s a place that meant something to him and his Mother.”

“I never knew his Mother.” She pleaded, sounding terrified by my angry tone.

“He would have told you about it.”

“Um… He found his Mother dead in…”

“We know!”

“Reid.” Morgan put a hand up to stop me before taking the phone away from me. “Ma’am please, this place was somewhere scared to their relationship. He would have wanted to go there a lot, you probably took him.”

“Um… there was this one place, in the White Mountain National Park in Maine, there was a clearing where she used to take him.”

“That’s over 800 000 acres, we need more.” I pulled my phone out to tell Hotch what we’d found while Morgan continued talking to Amber.

“Hotch, she could be in the White Mountain National Park.” I heard him groan as he realised the size of it. Finding her was going to be nigh on impossible.

“We’ll regroup by your SUV and see if we can narrow it down.” I turned back to Morgan who had taken the phone off speaker and had pulled the map of Maine we had in the backseat; Jonathon’s Maine house had already been marked out and Morgan was marking on the new information Amber was giving him. Even with what she remembered the area we would have to cover was huge.

“Thank you Amber, if we have any more questions we’ll be in touch.” Morgan hung up just as Hotch knocked on the window. We used the car bonnet to lean the map on as we stared at the area Marley might be in.

“I’ll call the rangers, they can start searching.”

“He’s had one hell of a head start.” I muttered quietly, feeling stupid that we’d all followed up this stupid lead and knowing that I was responsible for it.

“We’re closer here than we were back in Quantico.” Hotch whispered quietly. “She’s held on this long, she’ll hold on for the next few hours.”

“It’s going to be dark soon.” One of the local officers had to point out. “If Carmichael doesn’t kill her the elements will.” 

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

**Marley POV**

“If I’d known all I was working towards was a slightly different death I would have ended this before it started.” I stared at the now ominous black water of the brook from the leather seat of the car.

“Don’t say that.” He reached out and stroked a strand of hair away from my face. The contact made me feel sick. “We’re finally going to be a family.”

“I have a family, and just because yours is dead doesn’t mean you get to kill me.” He huffed angrily, his hand itching towards the gun I knew was in his coat pocket. Suddenly, as if my guardian angel was finally pulling herself into action, a means of escape popped into my head. It was risky, and I’d only have one chance to pull it off, but I was a goner anyway.  “I’m sorry; you just took me by surprise.”

“So we’ll do it?” He asked, bopping around excitedly in his seat. Who knew a suicide pact could get someone so excited.

“The sooner the better.” I gave him my best I’m-so-into-this-idea smile that I’d perfected from all the times I’d had to agree to watch news programme after news programme with Aaron of an evening. He grinned back before throwing open his door and hopping out, I was slightly less energetic as I got out of the car as I tried to work out how exactly I could pull this off. John came down to my side and hugged my arm tightly, this wasn’t what I needed but I tried to keep as calm as possible.

“Wait a second, John.” I kept that sickly sweet smile on my face as I stopped and turned towards him.

“What’s wrong?”

“You’ve got something on your face, we can’t go to your Mother looking like that or she’ll think I’m not looking after you properly.” My laugh sounding slightly hysterical as my heart jumped into my throat with fear. Luckily he was as oblivious as ever and stopped so I could look into his face. “It’s right here.” I put one of my hands on the side of his face as if to wide something off it, I took a deep breath before pulling back my other hand and slamming it into his face. He yelped out but I didn’t stop to watch him further, instead I sprinted off into the woods by the brook. I could hear him yelling but I didn’t stop. If he caught me now he’d kill me.

Brambles scratched my legs and tried to hold me back but I pushed through them as the twigs raked my hair like possessive lovers trying to drag me back to them. After spending so long locked in that little room with no exercise and little sleep, exhaustion was quickly coming up trying to slow me down.  It was like one of those dreams where you try to run but something slows you down. I pushed on though, knowing my punch would hardly have slowed him down by much even though my throat felt like an icicle was gorging into it every time I breathed as my chest constricted painfully. I lost my footing on a tree root and flew through the air before hitting the scratchy grass with a thump and rolling several times before coming to a stop by a gnarled tree stump. I took several deep breaths to try to replace the wind that had been knocked out of me from the fall; I listened intently for any sound of pursuit. There was a scurrying sound coming from the way I had just come. Not wanting to lose my advantage I tried to pull myself up only for a thorn to slice my palm open, I choked back a scream as blood slithered down my life line. Careful not to catch myself on anymore stray thorns I scrambled to my feet and began racing away through the forest. I had no idea where I was and how Aaron would find me, there was a chance I could starve to death before anyone found me out here. I wondered if there were bears. My feet thudded along the ground as I startled birds from the surrounding trees, I thought I heard a gunshot behind me but I didn’t dare stop and look, my hand was burning and my legs kept buckling but I couldn’t stop. I just ran, remembering the rhyme from Jack’s _Finding Nemo_ DVD and using it as a mantra to will myself on. As I found it harder and harder to breathe and my legs kept buckling underneath, I knew I had to take a break. I limped over to a great oak and leaned against it. I turned to see if he had followed me, there was nothing on the left side but a suddenly dread overcame me as I remembered all of the horror films I’d seen where the victim turned one way only to find the bad guy waiting on the other. I froze, suddenly scared to turn round to find the bright flash of the gun muzzle in my face. I slowly grabbed the nearest thick branch for some kind of weapon before spinning round to find…

Nothing. I took a deep breath to quell the shaking but kept a tight grip on the branch, it would make a good weapon. With a final check that Jonathon was nowhere nearby I launched out from behind the tree and bolted across the clearing into the woods, these were thicker than the last lot and seemed to swallow up the light turning it into a fairy tale-esque scene. All I needed now was the big bad wolf to come and get me. I kept running, not daring to look back over my shoulder as my arms were scratched by contorted twigs with their last lonely leaves crumbling to dust as I raced past them.

As I ran my mind began wandering to what was to come. I was already cold and I knew it was only going to get worse once the sun went down, I could make a fire but that meant stopping. I decided to keep running for as long as I could before making any other decisions. It was hardly an earth shattering conclusion but it kept my mind ticking over as I continued to race through the undergrowth. It reminded me of Jack on one of the nights when he was in hospital after the car crash and he was begging us to take him camping when he got better. Even if I ever got back to them I refused to go camping, that could be a Father- Son trip. Like I said, I was a city girl; yes it was in the most impoverished area you could imagine but I liked the concrete jungle that was my home. The real jungle, not so much. My left leg suddenly buckled and I sprawled out on the floor. I swore angrily but didn’t move from the floor as tears blurred my vision. I wanted to wake up right now from this horrible nightmare to find myself in Spencer’s arms but no matter how hard I pinched myself I was still lying on the woodland floor.

 I was about to crawl up and continue my marathon when I heard a noise in front of me. Hoping I was just being stupid again I risked a quick peak up only to see Jonathon thirty meters ahead. He looked furious as he searched the ground for any sign of me, wielding the gun like a beacon in front of him. I quickly hid buried my face in my arms and lay as still as possible. My heart seemed to be beating as loudly as a drum and I prayed he couldn’t hear it. A twig cracked over to my left. Was he coming closer? Had he seen me? I couldn’t bear to look. I just started a silent prayer to anyone who would listen. _Please, help me. For Jack, please help me._ Another crack even closer. _Please, not like this._ Suddenly the thin veil of light that was coming through the fold in my arms disappeared as I felt a dark presence looming above me.  _Please._   

 


	30. Showdown

**30\. Showdown**

**Marley POV**

I stayed perfectly still as I waited for the inevitable end. And then I heard a strange grunting sound. It was with reluctance that I risked a peek through the gap in my arms. I caught a glimpse of black shaggy fur and a paw the size of my face with five razor sharp claws. Numbness washed over me as I realised I was about to face down a black bear with nothing more than my bare hands. What were you meant to do in this situation? If Spencer was here… If Spencer was here he’d know what to do. All I knew about bears was that they were fast and could tear a human apart; not the most comforting knowledge. Were you meant to stand up and back away slowly? I thought I’d heard that somewhere. I should have paid more attention in bear 101. I risked a proper peek up at the bear to see it about ten feet away. Slowly I crawled backwards only to find it turn towards me and give another snort. I tried to keep as calm as possible as I stood up and raised my hands above my head, black eyes watched me intently as it turned towards me.

“It’s ok I’m not going to hurt you. If you go that way though there’s a man you can eat.” I spoke calmly as I slowly backed away. The bear had stopped walking but was watching my every move. My back hit a tree and I tried to go round it but suddenly the bear yet out a growl and began lumbering towards me. Great, I was now going to be mauled to death by a bear. I should have taken the drowning. I scrambled to climb the tree but I knew it was no good; bears could climb and even if this was some uncoordinated bear it didn’t matter, I was barely three feet up the tree and the bear was only a few feet away. It would easily be able to drag me back down. The gunshot took me completely by surprise and I very nearly lost my footing. I turned round, praying that by some miracle a park ranger had stumbled across me.

It was Jonathon. I must have done something seriously evil in a previous life to deserve this; kidnap, mental torture, near drowning, a marathon run through the forest, nearly mauled by a bear and now I was going to be shot. The gun went off again and the bear let out a roar of pain as the bullet pierced its flank but didn’t go far enough to kill it. The enraged bear turned in its pursuit of me and headed towards Jonathon. I didn’t wait to see who won this battle; instead I jumped out of the tree and began sprinting in the opposite direction. Through the trees I could hear the bear’s roar and yet more gunshots. I was shaking violently from the shock of the last few minutes and tears I hadn’t realised I’d shed were streaming down my face as I grasped the passing trees for support. Pain was constricting my chest and blood was streaked across my arm although where it had come from I had no idea. I wanted it to be over, I wanted to be home. Part of me wanted to just lie down and wait for death, no matter what form it came in but the other part of me wanted to get back to Jack. I wasn’t really paying attention to where I was going; I was just trying to get as far away from Jonathon and the Bear and was humanly possible. One minute I was stumbling along and the next I was flying.

Sadly gravity soon pulled me back down and I landed face first in the undergrowth. I slowly moved each of my limbs to check I hadn’t broken anything, my nose was bleeding but I didn’t think it was broken. I turned my head to see why I’d ended up flat on my face; I’d run off the end of a seven foot high rocky outcrop. I must have been one of the psychos in my previous life, it was the only explanation. However, the overhang could provide good shelter for the night; unable to find the energy to stand I crawled over to it. A fallen tree made a cave like area where I could light a fire and it wouldn’t be as easily seen. Although the likelihood was Jonathon was dead… I knew logically that I shouldn’t feel bad about leaving him, I mean he was going to kill me, but I still felt a pang of guilt that I’d run and left him to be mauled. The light was dwindling; soon it would be too dark to find anything useful. I grabbed a flint from the floor so I could use it to mark the trees as I went, that way I’d know how to get back there. I started collecting wood, making sure I marked a tree every few feet although it didn’t take long for me to collect an armful of wood. I made several collections until I had a decent sized pile. For a city girl I actually knew how to start a fire from nothing, you can thank my brothers’ obsession of _Bear Grylls_ for that one. Unfortunately that meant I was under no illusion of how hard it was going to be. I was lucky enough to find a decent flint to create my fireboard; I sat under my overhang and chipped away at the wood to create a long thin groove. Once I had that I took a study twig and began carving the end into a point before inserting it into the groove. I took a deep breath as I began rubbing the twig between my hands. It didn’t take long before my palms were burning as the skin was rubbed away, I let out a groan. I hadn’t even got to the worse stage yet. Once I’d collected enough dust I pushed it all down to the bottom of the groove and resettled my twig before restarting my rubbing. I tried to think of anything else but the pain was immense. A liquid dripped onto my knee. I looked down and saw a drop of blood staining my knee; I let out a little whimper but continued rubbing in the desperate hope that it would start smoking. It did several times but each time in my desperation I blew too hard and the flame went out. An hour later, with darkness smothering me until I could barely see a hand before me, I finally managed to sustain a flame and transferred it to the pile of wood I’d gathered. It took a while to get started but eventually I had a reasonable sized fire to warm myself by.

Despite the anguish and pain of starting the fire it had given me something to do and now all I had to do was sit by the glow of the fire listening to the howls and grunts of the wildlife that was on the other side of the fire. I sat there staring into the fire, allowing the yellow flames to hypnotise me so I could forget the pain of the last few days. My entire body was shaking with cold and I wished I’d taken my coat with me that night Aaron threw me out. I lay down on side facing the fire and bought my legs up into my chest before dragging leaves around my body; my usual hatred of insects and dirt was trumped by my fear of dying of cold in the night. I lay thinking about Spencer, I wondered if he’d suffered or if it had been quick. I knew the guilt would never leave me, even if I survived this. His death was my fault; if he’d never met me then he’d be alive. I let the tears cascade down my cheeks as I gasped for air.

“I want to go home.” I sobbed to the gathering of wildlife I was sure was waiting on the other side of the fire until it dimmed enough that they could get to me. I closed my eyes to try and escape the hellhole I’d found myself in but the blood red of the fire that bled through my eyelids only served to remind me of Spencer’s violent death. A howl sounded off to my right and I huddled closer to the fire. It was going to be a long night.  

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

It was a nice surprise to wake up; part of me hadn’t expected to ever open my eyes again. The fire had burnt down to embers but it had kept me safe from the creatures throughout the night. I slowly sat up and brushed off the leaves, happy to find no spiders or worms on the jeans before gingerly pulling myself to my feet. As I stood in the early morning sunshine I took stock of my injuries; my palms red raw with dried blood splattered across them, there was a tender bump on my forehead and my entire body was covered in scratches and bruises. My aching body groaned in protest as I stretched it out before quickly moving off. If Jonathon was still alive he could be anywhere and I wasn’t ready to die just yet. I tried to remember what Bear Grylls had said about finding water as my throat felt like someone had forcibly thrust sandpaper down it; unfortunately I was pretty sure when we got to that part of the documentary Jesse had jumped on Nick and I’d had to break them up. _Just keep walking_ , I told myself forcefully, _you’ve got no other choice_. Grabbing the sharpen twig from last night for a weapon I headed off into a new part of the woods in the hope of finding some kind of salvation; I could have done with food but I wasn’t expert enough to know which berries would kill me so I decided to live with the spasms in my stomach until I could find something slightly less dangerous. What, I had no idea.

 The sun was hovering high in the sky when I heard it. At first I ignored it, praying it was my imagination. But the sound refused to dissipate; instead it was growing in frequency and proximity. Soon barks and howls filled the air until I couldn’t work out which way it was coming from.

“Oh God, no.” I whimpered as I looked around for somewhere to hide, but I couldn’t pinpoint where it was coming from. I just stood frozen in place to wait out the pack of wolves that would tear me to pieces. I should have taken the drowning.

And then the first one breached the horizon.

It took me several seconds to comprehend what I was seeing. Several German Shepherds were racing towards me with men in green coats following close behind. Shouts of ‘we’ve found her’ filled the air but all I could do was stand there dumbly, waiting to wake up by the dwindling fire. The first man reached me and grabbed one of my shoulders. He was a kindly looking elderly man with wispy blonde gray hair and a thick parka jacket. He said something but all I could do was stare dumbly at him; this wasn’t happening. I wasn’t that lucky. The man began waving someone to my left over. I turned to see Derek Morgan racing towards me through the trees.

“Marley! Marley, thank God!” Tears glistened in his eyes as he pulled me tightly against his chest. I wrapped my arms around him. I knew it wasn’t a dream. If it was, Spencer would have found me. I let out a sob as I clung to his chest, feeling overwhelmed by his comforting presence. “Shush, shush its ok. I’ve got you.”

“I thought… I thought I was going to… die. The water and the, the gun and the… oh god the bear! The bear!” I knew I was going hysterical but I couldn’t help it. I’d had to hold myself together in some semblance of sanity for the last week but now I was safe. I could let go.

“No one can hurt you now, Babygirl.” He pulled away from me and quickly shrugged off his leather jacket so he could slip it on me. He tenderly zipped it up before pulling me back against his chest while I clung to his now bear arms.

“Marley!”

“I thought it was real.” I whimpered before letting out a sob. I was so sure it had been real, but Spencer calling my name told me it was just hopeful thinking.

“It is Marley.” He turned me around so I could see Spencer racing down the hill towards me. “Jonathon missed.” Right then and there I didn’t even care if it was a dream or not, he looked so real. I shot out of Morgan’s arms and raced towards him. The thump of solid flesh as I crashed into his waiting embrace told me it was real.

“I love you.” We told each over and over again as we clung to each other, his hands wrapped in my hair and mine in his. I pulled away so I could look into his hazel eyes before caressing his face. No words could ever describe the sheer relief I felt as I stared into his eyes.

“I thought I’d never see you again.” I whispered, holding his face. I couldn’t bear to let go of his smooth flesh in case it melted away into nothingness.

“I know the feeling.” I leaned in and captured his lips in a desperate kiss. Our tears mingled together as we clutched to each other. It took us a long time to pull away from each other; if I was honest I’d forgotten about our audience. Morgan was wiping away tears as he made his way up the slope towards us.

“Come on let’s get you back to Hotch. He said he’d meet us in the clearing.” We began to slowly walk back the way I’d come with Spencer’s arms wrapped around me.

“Why didn’t Hotch tell me on the phone you were alive?” I asked after a few minutes.

“He didn’t want to get you angry.”

“Angry?” I snorted. “I was being held hostage by a psycho who I thought had murdered my boyfriend and he thought there was a way I could be _more_ angry?” Spencer just kissed my head and clutched me a bit closer to his body.

“What happened with the bear?” Morgan asked quietly.

“Bear?!” Spencer’s death grip tightened around my waist.

“It was coming at me and then John shot at it. I ran but I guess it got him.”

“Marley…” Morgan’s pause told me it wasn’t good. “We found the bear’s body last night. There was no sign of Jonathon.”

“He’s still out there.” I closed my eyes and whimpered. “You don’t understand he will _never_ stop hunting me.”

“Marley.” Morgan grabbed my shoulder as I tried not to have a panic attack. He was still out there. “We aren’t going to let him get you. We’ll take you somewhere safe and then comb every inch of these woods until we find him. I promise.”  

I nodded and allowed them to keep leading me back towards the clearing. It turned out I’d run around in circles a lot so the clearing was a lot closer then I’d envisage but the walk was still long enough to give me time to think. The gnawing worry in my gut told me that Morgan was mistaken and John was going to find me. He was looking for a surrogate Nanny and he was taking them from families that represented his own. I was Amber, Jack was him, Haley was his Mother and Aaron was his Father. We were just approaching the clearing when I pointed it out to the others.

“Hotch got the rough deal, that man was an atrocious Father.” Morgan commented.

“He got what he deserved then?” I whispered quietly.

“What?” Spencer looked at me in confusion. I never answered him as the full horror of the situation hit me. He killed his Father and now that he couldn’t get to me Aaron was the final piece of the puzzle. He was going to kill Aaron. I pulled out of Spencer’s embrace and raced into the clearing. Aaron was waiting by an SUV. The idiot wasn’t wearing a Kevlar vest. As I stopped to get my bearings I caught the glint of John’s gun. He was hidden by the river where his Mom died, after a week spent with the nut job I knew him well enough to spot him when all the police missed him. Aaron called my name and started towards me but stopped when he saw the look on my face as I sprinted towards him. Morgan screamed, he’d obviously seen John but I knew he was too late. I barrelled into Aaron and sent him flying as the gun went off.

John fell into the water and Aaron groaned from the floor, winded but unharmed. He must have missed us, like he had with Spencer.

“Marley.” Aaron’s voice was strangled as he struggled to sit up. I followed his horrified gaze down to my chest.

My top was covered in blood.


	31. Hold On

**31\. Hold on**

**Spencer Reid POV**

It all happened so fast. One minute she was safe in my arms and the next she was sprinting towards Hotch. I started to call out after her but Morgan’s yell drowned out the words. I turned to see what had startled Morgan and froze in dread as Jonathon appeared on the opposite side of the bank, dark determination on his face as he aimed his gun towards Hotch and Marley. My eyes widened in fear as I pulled my gun from its holder and tried to steady my shaking hands as I aimed at him. Morgan and Jonathon’s guns went off at the same time.

I didn’t want to turn round to see what Jonathon had hit. It was probably nothing though; I mean he’d missed me a point blank range. She’d be fine.

At first I thought she was fine, she was standing up staring at Hotch as if to check he was alright. And then…

Then her hand reached up to her chest and as she pulled it away I saw the blood the leather jacket had been disguising from this distance. _No._ she staggered backwards before falling into Hotch’s waiting arms. The whole crowd of LEOs, park rangers and FBI agents had gone silent as we stared at Hotch cradling her against his chest. I was pretty sure Morgan yelled to get a medic but my mind seemed to of blocked him out, all I could see was her. I raced across the clearing towards the two huddled figures and collapsed on her other side. One of Hotch’s hands was holding her head up while his other hand covered Marley’s which were resting over her wound, even with the pressure blood was seeping through cracks in Hotch’s hands and running down his knuckles. Marley’s breathing was erratic and each time she breathed out she emitted a gasp of pain. Why did the one time he actually hit something, it had to be her?

“What did you do that for?” Hotch’s voice trembled as he whispered quietly, unobstructed tears flowing down his cheeks.

“I wasn’t going… to let Jack lose… another parent.” Even the short sentence seemed to cause her pain and she had to stop to catch her breath several times. “It… it was my choice… don’t feel bad. I’d do it… again… all of it. Even now… I wouldn’t change… a second.”

“I’m sorry for that night; I didn’t mean any of it.”

“I know.” She coughed and blood speckled her lip. “Tell… tell…”

“Shush, don’t speak. The medic will be here soon, we had them on standby.” He rocked her gently in his arms, as I imagined he did with Jack when he had a nightmare.

“Tell…” She seemed determined to get this sentence out no matter what it cost her. “Jack… I’m sorry… I tried… to keep my promise.”

“Hey, you can tell him yourself when you’re better.” Hotch gulped back more tears as he clung to her body.

“Do you… tell… all… the people who… die in your arms… that?” To that he had no answer. I reached out and touched her arm tenderly; it seemed to take her a lot of effort to move her head towards me. From the look of shock on her face that I was there I guessed she hadn’t noticed my presence earlier. She grimaced as she moved one of her blood soaked hands out from underneath Hotch’s and grasped mine, her embrace was limp and the sticky congealing blood made my stomach turn but I clung onto it for dear life.

“You’re going to be fine, just don’t let go of my hand.” She gave me a small smile but her eyes were clouding over and her breathing was getting shallower. “Stay with me. Can you hear that Marley? It’s the EMT’s, you’re going to be fine.”

“I love you.” She mouthed, unable to produce any sound.

“I love you too, so much. You’ve got to hold on Marley, you’ve got so much ahead of you. We’ve barely started; just think of all the things we can do. We can spend Christmas with your family; they’re great. Jesse even hugged me the other day.” She gave the faintest hint of a smile and her middle finger shuddered spasmodically in what I guessed was he weakening body’s attempt at squeezing me. Tears were streaming down my face as I clung to her, I could see the flashing lights of the ambulance as it pulled up but I knew she was quickly weakening. “It’ll be fine, just don’t let go of my hand.” She coughed and more blood dribbled out of the corner of her mouth.

“Just hold on Marley.” Hotch begged as he tightened his grip on her stilling body. I could barely hear her breathing as her hand started slipping from mine. Two medics moved Hotch out of the way and began inspecting her wounds. Her body gave an involuntary shudder before going still.

“She’s not breathing!”

Her hand slipped from mine.     


	32. Flashes

**32\. Flashes**

**Marley POV**

They say just before you die you’re life flashes before your eyes. Spencer would disagree, but for me, that was what happened. I got to see the highs and lows of my life flash before me. One. Last. Time. 

_/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\_

_“Mommy!” I screamed happily as she pushed me higher and higher on a swing. We were in the playground situated just outside our apartment block and everything was breaking. The swing made an ominous groaning noise every time I went forward but I didn’t care. My Mom laughed gleefully behind me as her warm hands slammed into my back to push me harder._

_“Reach baby, you’ll make it all the way to the stars one day.”_

_“Only if you come with me.”_

/\/\/\/\/\/\

_“You stupid cow!” My Dad screamed. The walls in the apartment were thinner than paper and every word could be heard. It was just before she left and I was crammed into my bedroom with my brothers. We had a three bedroom apartment, although the third bedroom, my bedroom, was the size of a wardrobe. We’d had to take the door off to fit the bed in and that took up all the space, I had to crawl off the end of it to get out; so it was a squeeze with the six of us on a single bed but we needed the comfort. This was the third major argument they’d had in as many days; they were huge rows with plate throwing and screaming long into the night. The police had been called last night. Milo was barely a year old and began whimpering in my arms as the screaming reached new heights._

_“I hate you! I hate the kids! I wish you’d all go to hell!” Mom cried and then something smashed._

_“She didn’t mean it.” I whispered as I rocked Milo with one arm and reached out to stroke Jamie’s head. I really wished I had a door to block out some of the noise, I had a purple curtain to protect my modesty but that was hardly soundproof._

_“Marley.” Jesse whimpered and latched onto my arm. There was another massive crash from the living room and a yelp of pain from my Dad. “Make it stop.”_

_“Ok, you guys hand tight.” I handed Milo to Nick before crawling to the end of my bed to get into the hallway. The living room door had been shut as if that meant we couldn’t hear anything. I took a deep breath before opening the living room door; the coffee table had been smashed as well as the plates from dinner. My Mom was always overdramatic. My Father was red with rage and the vein in his head was throbbing while my Mom was crying hysterically with her curly dark hair falling out of its ponytail._

_“I wish to God I’d never met you!” She turned and saw me standing in the doorway. “Get out.”_

_“Mom, the boys are scared.”_

_“Don’t. You. Dare. Don’t make it out like I’m a bad Mother. This is all your fault.”_

_“Heather!” My Dad snarled._

_“We only stayed together because I got pregnant with you. I could have made something of my life, instead I gave it all up for you!” I felt like she’d slapped me in the face. Tears began welling up in my eyes as my Mom glared at me with nothing but pure hatred._

_“Heather! Marley, sweetheart go in the other room.” My Dad gave me a tender smile as he moved between my Mom and me._

_“Don’t make out like you wanted her! You should have heard him, Marley. He wanted to get rid of you. I wished I’d listened to him.” My Dad lunged for her._

_“No! Stop it please!” I sobbed. I wanted to run for cover but I was scared what the two of them would do to each other. My Dad froze and turned to me, apology written all of his face._

_“I’m sorry baby. Go to your room and I’ll come in later.” I nodded, tears streaming down my face._

_“Marley.” My Mom turned to me. I should have known from the hate on her face that she was about to put the knife in one more time, but I was young and naïve. I wanted my Mom to hug me and tell me she was sorry._

_“Mom?”_

_“I wish to God you’d never been born.” I ran out of the room and flung myself onto my bed causing my brothers to scramble further up. Nick sat and rubbed my back as Milo started crying again. My parents’ bedroom door slammed shut across the hallway as my Mom stormed in there._

_“I’m sorry guys, right come on boys its bedtime.” My Dad smiled down on the group of us, huddled together like victims of war in a refugee camp. He took Milo into his arms before herding all my brothers into their tiny room. Nick stayed resolutely by my side, rubbing my back as I stayed curled up on my side away from my Dad. I couldn’t face him right now; even though I knew my Mom was just being vicious the idea that my Dad didn’t want me was too painful to contemplate. “Nick bed time.”_

_“But…” My caring little brother moved closer to me but I guess my Dad’s stern gaze won him over in the end and he hugged me before retreating to the boys’ bedroom._

_“Marley she didn’t mean it.” He sat on my bed and rubbed my back._

_“She did.”_

_“I was sixteen and I was scared. But, Marley I love you more than anyone else in the entire world. You know that, don’t you?” I sighed and sat up so that I could see him. He moved a stray strand of hair out of my eyes._

_“Take it from someone who knows, the walls in this house are thin so I wouldn’t admit something like that.” He laughed and hugged me tightly._

_“Love you baby.”_

_Mom left the next day._

_/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\_

_Jack’s nightlight glowed softly from the wall as the two of us lay on his bed. I was telling him a story about the adventures of the Knights of the Round Table. I was getting carried away as I made up tales of dragons and flying horses so it was way passed his bedtime. He was snuggled against my body was his head resting on my chest cuddling Rooster close. I was in the middle of a big battle between Morgana’s forces and the knights when Jack mumbled something._

_“What was that baby?” I asked as I rubbed his head._

_“I said you’re the best.” I smiled and hugged him tightly._

_“You’re awesome too, Jack.”_

_/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\_

_It was the third night Jack was in hospital after the car accident and he’d finally been moved out of intensive care onto a normal children’s ward. He still had a private room which was good because every time I walked past the open ward the screaming and crying children gave me a headache. I was fully aware I was turning into Hotch but I hadn’t slept properly in days; maybe Aaron just needed a good night’s sleep and he’d be as happy as Garcia. Spencer had gone home a few hours earlier after keeping a vigil in the waiting room since the accident. I walked back into the room after one of my late night coffee runs to find Jack fast asleep and Aaron doing a crossword._

_“Go home Marley.” He said quietly as he accepted the coffee I offered him._

_“I love you to Aaron.”_

_“You’re exhausted. Go spend the night with Spencer and we can swap tomorrow night. Take this and get a taxi.” I nodded before kissing Jack’s forehead and accepting the money he offered me._

_It wasn’t a long ride to Spencer’s from the hospital and I soon found myself walking along the familiar corridor to his apartment. Despite the exhaustion and seriousness of Jack’s situation I was looking forward to spending time with Spencer even if it was just falling asleep on his chest. He opened the door on the second knock making me suspect that Aaron had given him a heads up that I would turn up._

_“I got kicked out, can I come in?” He smiled before leaning down to kiss me gently. I loved his soft sweet lips which moulded gently to mine. I pulled away before burying my head in his warm shoulder and breathing in the familiar scent that made me instantly feel at ease. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder before leading me into his apartment; he was watching a science documentary on the discovery channel which made me laugh. His intellect had astounded me at first but now it made me feel at home._

_“Do you want something to eat?” He asked as he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my neck._

_“No, I just want to somewhere to sleep.” I laughed before leaning my head against his chest._

_“Come on then.”_

_“No, stay and watch your programme.”_

_“Repeat, I’ve seen it before. I want to be with you.” I was too selfish to argue it properly as I wanted to fall asleep in his arms so I allowed him to lead me into his bedroom. Too tired to do anything else I just threw my clothes off and pulled on the shirt that he had lent me the last time I stayed here; Spencer, ever the gentleman, had left the room while I changed but he soon came back in and pulled the covers back. “I’m glad you’re here.”_

_“So am I. I love… spending time with you.” I snuggled closer until my head was against his chest and his arms were wrapped around me. I mouthed the words “I love you” against his chest._

_I should have told him then._

_/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\_

“Hurry!” The EMT in the back of the ambulance called to the driver. “Her hearts stopped!”


	33. Solace

**33\. Solace**

**Spencer Reid POV**

Waiting was the hardest part. I’d worn a groove in the waiting room carpet from walking up and down on a loop for the last three hours. Hotch had ridden with her in the ambulance, I couldn’t let him sit in a car waiting for the call like the last time. Unfortunately that meant I had to ride with Morgan behind the ambulance, waiting for the call. My hand was still caked in her blood but I couldn’t bring myself to wash it off.

“She’ll be…”

“If the next word out of your mouth is fine I swear they’ll need another ambulance.” I snapped and his mouth snapped shut with an audible click. “She stopped breathing.”

“She started again.”

“She’s going to die.”

“Reid; she survived where thirty eight other women didn’t, she ran through a bear infested wood and managed to survive a Maine winter. I wouldn’t bet against her.” I leaned against the window pane and closed my eyes, seeing her unconsciousness body covered in blood.

“I wish I could get my hands on him. I’d make him pay.” I growled angrily, slamming my fist against the dashboard.

“He’s dead, he can’t hurt her anymore.”

“He doesn’t need too, he’s done enough damage. I want to take that bloody gun and smash it repeatedly into his face until nothing’s left but a bloody pulp.” Morgan made no comment about my murderous desires, just keeping his eyes focused on the ambulance in front of us. The rest of the ride was spent in silence as I watched the ambulance and prayed Marley was holding on in there. Hotch hadn’t phoned, that was something at least.

Once we got to the hospital we were taking into a private waiting room where Hotch was already marching up and down, rubbing his hands together as if in prayer. It took him a several marches to notice the two of us standing there watching him.

“They took her straight to theatre.” He whispered hoarsely. He looked like hell, like me he hadn’t washed the blood off and his usual pale completion had worsened until he looked like he should be in the morgue although I could hardly talk. I bet I looked like something from a horror movie.

“How… how was she?”

“Her… heart stopped for a while… but they managed to restart it.” He reached out his clean hand and laid it on my shoulder. I reached up and gripped it tightly as we shared the pain of watching someone we love get shot; I knew all the bad memories it was bringing up for him. Hotch pulled away and began his march again while Morgan and I sat down to wait for the others to arrive but I couldn’t sit still. I felt so useless just sat there, I wanted to help her. I should have gone to medical school. So I decided to join Hotch in his march, we started at opposite ends of the room and began pacing, too lost in our own hellish thoughts to even acknowledge each other each time we passed.

Seven steps, turn, seven steps, turn, seven steps, turn.   

When Rossi, Prentiss and JJ walked in they momentarily stopped as they watched us pace before informing us that they’d got in touch with Marley’s Dad and he was on his way. I didn’t know how I could face him when we’d let his daughter get shot despite all our promises to find her safe and sound. She’d been right beside me and I couldn’t keep her safe, what kind of agent was I? And what about Jesse? I could still feel his bony embrace as he’s sought solace for the loss of his sister; I felt incredibly protective towards him, well, towards the entire family, and I couldn’t bear imagining their faces as they learnt the news. After pausing to take in the news I began pacing again, unable to stay still lest the evil thoughts return.

Seven steps, turn, seven steps, turn, seven steps, turn.

I was amazed that in the three hours we sat there not one of the other team members told us to sit the hell down although from the way Rossi was tapping irritably on the chair I could tell he was itching to. Logically I knew that intensive surgery could take several hours, especially around the lungs and heart where Marley’s injury was, but the rest of me was desperate for some kind of news. I tried thinking of no news as good news, at least she hadn’t died on the table yet, but I needed to know that she was ok.

“Her Dad should be here soon.” Prentiss whispered, it was the first time anyone had spoken in hours.

“I wished we had something good to tell him.” I sighed.

“Reid… Hotch,” Morgan began tentatively. “You should go… wash up before they get here.” I looked down at the dried blood on my palm and nodded slowly before following Hotch out into the hallway.

“I think it’s this way.”  Hotch murmured, unable to meet my eyes.

“It wasn’t your fault.” I reached out for him but he shrugged me off.

“It should be me in there not her. She was willing to die for me and that night… that night I threw her out into the street like she was a stray dog. She should hate me; she shouldn’t be trying to save my life!” He slammed the wall with his fist before turning and racing down the corridor. I let him go, I knew Hotch well enough to know that whatever I said it wouldn’t help him. I was sure that even if she survived the guilt would never leave him. As I headed into the bathroom I wondered where she was in the hospital, if she was still in surgery, if she was still…

“How is she?” I spun round from the sink where I was scrubbing the blood from my hands to see Jesse stood in the doorway. His eyes instantly zoomed in to the bloodied water and he gulped as if he was going to be sick. I wanted to go to him but my hand was still bloodied and I thought that would make him feel worse. “You were with her?”

“Yes, she’s in theatre at the minute. That’s all I know.” I tried to subtly look down to check the blood was gone before pulling the plug and pulling him into a hug.

“You should have seen my Dad’s face when he was on the phone. I thought she’d died. I can’t lose her.” He pulled away and rubbed angrily at his eyes where tears were starting to form.

“She’s a fighter. Where’s your Dad?”

“In the waiting room. Your friend- Morgan?- told me you were in here. I wanted to see you.” I smiled, feeling touched that Jesse would search me out above everyone else that was here. I allowed him to lead me back out into the corridor.

“I don’t suppose the man who Marley lives with was in there?” I was worried about where Hotch had got to; he wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be left alone for too long.

“No, they thought you were together. Is he alright?”

“He’s worried about your sister.” I decided it was best not to say he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown because of his guilt for what had happened to Marley.

“They said the man that did it was dead?” Jesse bit his knuckle as we walked along the corridor.

“Yes, we shot him after he… after he shot your sister.”

“Is it wrong that I’m glad?” He looked nervous. “Does that make me like one of your psychos?”

“Jesse.” I grabbed both of his shoulders and turned him towards me. “Listen. When I was looking for Marley in the woods I wanted to murder him with my bare hands. I still do. I would be more worried if you weren’t, honestly.”

“Thanks.” He smiled at me, looking relieved after what I’d said. “I…”

“There you are! Where’s Hotch?” Morgan appeared at the end of the corridor looking flustered. “We thought we’d lost you.”

“Anything happened?” We asked in unison, bile rising up as I faced up to the realisation that soon we’d know for sure if she was dead. No amount of hope or prayer would change anything then. I thought that was worse than the waiting. Surely waiting in limbo forever with a tiny morsel of hope was better than facing up to an eternity without her.

“No, we just wanted to find you. Hotch?” Morgan repeated looking around as if we’d hidden him somewhere.   

“He got upset…” I trailed off, not wanting Jesse to hear. “I thought he needed time.”

“He’ll turn up.” Morgan agreed before falling into step with us.

“How’s my Dad?” Jesse asked. Morgan paused as he thought of an appropriate answer.

“He’s about how I would be if my daughter had been shot.”

When we got to the waiting room, Vince had taken up the helm as chief pacer while Nick was sat watching him nervously, eyes following him around the room as if he was watching a tennis match. I wanted to continue pacing but Jesse sat down and eyed the seat next to him, obviously wanting some company so I sat next to him and began staring intently at the door, waiting for Hotch or the surgeon to appear again. I could tell Rossi wanted to ask what the hell I’d done with Hotch but thought better of it.

The aforementioned Hotch turned up ten minutes later looking like hell. He froze when he saw Vince, obviously not wanting to face him while he felt so guilty about what had happened to Marley. Luckily Vince saved him by going over to him and clasping his arm.

“Are you here for Marley Prince?” We all turned in shock to look at the door where a man in a white coat was stood watching us.

“Yes, I’m her Father.” Vince stepped forward as the rest of us stood and edged forward, Jesse’s hand clutched my right hand and Hotch my left.

“Would you like to step into my office?”

“No, just tell us what’s happened. Is my daughter alive?”

“She made it through surgery.” Everyone let out a collective breath we hadn’t realised we were holding. She was alive! I felt my entire frame shake with relief as a grin began forming on my face. I wanted to run into her room and never let her out of my sight again. “But…”

The grin vanished from my face.

“But?” Vince closed his eyes and gulped.

“There were complications. Her lungs were severely damaged and at the minute she can’t breathe on her own. We’ve had to put her into a medically induced coma so a ventilator can help her breathe. You have to understand she is very ill, the next 48 hours will be critical.” Jesse whimpered and I squeezed his hand as I tried not to cry at the news that she was still in trouble.

“How long will she be in a coma?” Hotch asked as he stared at something no one else could see.

“It depends on how well her body reacts to treatment. I wish I had something more concrete to offer you.”

“Can I see her?” Vince asked desperately.

“Of course but only a few in at a time.”

“Boys, stay here.” Vince ordered, I guess he wanted to check how bad it was before letting them in. “Aaron, Spencer?” We nodded gratefully before following the surgeon out into the corridor. I couldn’t wait to see her, even if I couldn’t talk to her. I had to keep on believing that she would survive this.

“You have to be warned that she’s surrounded by a lot of machinery but it’s helping her.” We nodded before he pushed open the door and ushered us in. He wasn’t wrong when he said there was a lot of machinery surrounding her, numerous machines beeped to various rhythms, all connected to Marley through various tubes and wires. A thick green tube was coming out of her mouth, connecting her to the machine that was keeping her alive. Without it… I wasn’t going to think about what would happen without it. Marley’s hands had been bandaged and the scratches on her arms and face had been stitched, I hated seeing her like this. She looked so breakable, it was heart wrenching.    

“Hey baby.” Vince walked forward and kissed her forehead while Hotch and I stayed back. Unable to look at her without touching her anymore I walked to the opposite side of the bed and gently caressed her arm. Despite her ordeal her skin still felt as soft as it had every other time I’d held her. It gave me hope that things could get back to normal.

One day she’d be back in my arms where she belonged.

 

 


	34. Unexpected Visit

**34\. Unexpected visit**

**Spencer Reid POV**

“You stupid cow!”  Jesse’s scream was barely muffled by the thick hospital door.

“Well, this takes me back.” Nick muttered as he leaned back in the uncomfortably small hospital chair. I looked at Hotch for guidance, I mean should we step in? “It’s fine, this used to happen all the time before she left.”

“Oh.” It took me back to the arguments between my parents when I was younger and I instantly grasped Marley’s unconscious hand as I thought of all the arguments she must have witnessed. Marley had been in a coma for the last six days and no matter what treatment the doctors had tried Marley’s body refused to respond. I hated watching her like that, I was desperate to shake her until she woke up but I knew that wouldn’t work. As if watching Marley fight for her life wasn’t bad enough, her Mother had just appeared at the front desk demanding the right to see her daughter. As the nurse cautiously informed us of the new arrival I’d watch Jesse’s face darken into something murderous and he launched himself out of the chair towards the door.

 “Should we…?” Hotch asked nervously as he eyed the door.

“No,” Nick whispered quietly, biting his lower lip. “You don’t want to give her a pulpit; just let them sort her out.” He started gnawing his lip in earnest; I guessed that despite his calmer reaction, he was just as worried about seeing his Mother again as Jesse. You had to hand it to that woman’s determination that she’s got close enough to the door that we could hear her.

“Jesse!” Vince snarled and the door ricocheted open as Jesse was forcibly shoved back into the room. 

“Sit down.” Nick ordered.

“Whose side are you on?” Jesse looked almost deranged as he stared from Marley to the door and back again. “You know what that woman did, what that woman _said_ to Marley. And now what, you want to let her near our sister?”

“I didn’t say that.” He snapped. “I hate her too, but getting kicked out of the hospital for battering her won’t help anyone.”

Jesse looked intent on continuing the argument but the door opened and a stressed Vince walked back into the room.

“If you _dare_ let her in.” Jesse warned.

“Don’t talk to me like that.” Vince snapped. “I’m your Father, and I’m _her_ Father. I decide what’s best for this family not you.”

“So she’s gone?” Jesse asked hopefully.

“She’s outside. When Marley wakes up she can chose if she wants to see her.”

“That’ll be a no.” Jesse mumbled under his breath but Vince chose to ignore him. Deciding he could relax his guard dog persona he came and sat down next to me although from the way he pulled violently at the skin around his cuticles he was still angry. I understood the feeling, I could remember the anger when I’d first seen my Dad after twenty years, and what could he say? _Are you here on work?_ I reached out and pulled his left hand away from its dissection of his right. “Wanna get a coffee?” I nodded and followed him out into the hallway.

“You don’t want to see her either do you?” I asked as we walked down towards the canteen, I hoped Marley’s Mom wouldn’t be down there; the last thing I needed was Jesse trying to forcibly remove his Mom from the hospital.

“She just walked out. I mean we knew she was unhappy but to just _leave_ without as much as a goodbye. Milo was only a baby, how can you leave a little baby without its Mom? And the things she said to Marley before she left. How can you behave like that to your own daughter?” He threw his hands up in exasperation at his Mother’s behaviour.

“What did she say to Marley?” I shouldn’t have asked, I was hardly in a calm state of mind to hear Marley had been saddled with yet more rubbish in her life.

“That she wished Marley had never been born and that Dad wanted her to have an abortion. It was horrendous, that was the last thing that Marley ever heard her say. Marley never got over it.” I growled angrily at the idea, suddenly I wished I’d helped Jesse forcibly remove her from the hospital. “She’s the reason Marley hates the way she looks.”

“The eyes.” I suddenly remembered her reaction when I mentioned her eyes.

“And the hair. She’s the spit of Mom. I remember a few days after Mom left we came home and she was ironing her hair to try and straighten it.” He rolled his eyes as we joined the ridiculously long queue for a cup of coffee. I scanned the room looking for an older version of Marley; I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to see her or not. I was so angry that she could make Marley feel so bad about herself. The way things were going Jesse would be holding me back while I tried to get at his Mother. To try and take my mind off Marley and her Mother I pulled my phone out to call Morgan; the team had been recalled for a new case a couple of days ago and I was really missing Morgan, he always knew what to say to cheer me up when things got tough.

“Hey, how is she?” Morgan’s familiar warm voice instantly relaxed my tense muscles.

“The same as before.” I sighed before lowering my voice so Jesse wouldn’t hear. “They’ve tried everything and she just won’t respond. I’m scared…”

“Reid, the kid lives with Hotch; she learnt stubbornness from the best. Just give her time.” Morgan tried his best to cheer me up but with limited success.

“Morgan, even the doctors are getting angsty. They thought she’d be breathing on her own by now.”

“Have the Doctor’s said that?”

“No but…”

“Well then, I’m...”

“I’m a profiler! It’s my job to read body language and theirs is telling me something’s wrong.”

“Reid, you’re exhausted, I think you’re looking for a reason to worry.”

“Oh yeah, I want her to die. That’s totally it.” I snarled.

“You know what I mean… How’s Hotch?” I guessed he decided there was nothing more he could say to make me feel better so he changed tact, which was probably for the best as Jesse had heard my snarl and had turned anxiously towards me.

“Agitated, he’s missing Jack and Jack’s really missing him. He knows something’s wrong, he’s used to having Marley around when his Dad isn’t there.”

“Maybe he should go home for a bit?”

“I dare you to suggest that to him, I hear job searching is great this time of year.”  In truth I’d told him that several times this week but he didn’t listen. He felt guilty for what had happened and I knew no matter what he wouldn’t leave her side until she was better. _If_ she got better.

“When the case finished I’ll come back, sod Strauss.”

“Thanks Morgan. How’s the case?”

“Ugh.” He grunted. “We just found another body and we have absolutely no leads. I better get back to it but I’ll call back later.”

“Bye.” I hung up just in time to pay for the coffees Jesse had acquired; I turned to retrieve my coffee from Jesse only to find him glaring across the room at who I guessed was his Mother. Jesse had been right about her being the spit of Marley. She was older but the curly dark hair and green eyes were shockingly like Marley’s. There was something incredibly wrong about seeing those familiar green eyes with such disdain in them; I guessed she hadn’t been thrilled with her welcome home greeting. I couldn’t say I had much sympathy with her. I gripped Jesse’s arm, as much as to keep myself by the till as to keep Jesse there. I was hoping she’d just walk away like she’d been doing for the last seven years, but she continued walking towards us.

“Jesse.” I whispered as I felt his muscles tense under my hand. He was shaking so badly and his hands were clenched into red fists that I was almost waiting for him to turn into the Hulk.

“Jesse, I know you’re angry.” I had to admire her courage; Jesse looked like some of our most deranged psychopaths but she held her ground. “But she’s my daughter and I’m worried about her.”

“I don’t think now is the best time for this.” I gripped onto Jesse even tighter as he let out a guttural snarl of disbelief.

“Who the hell are you to tell me when I can speak to my children?”

“Marley’s boyfriend.” Jesse’s voice was higher than normal and he ground his teeth together in frustration. She looked me up and down as if she had any right to critique me; I’d never left her daughter. _No, I just didn’t call her when she was being held by a psycho._

“We should get back.” I pulled at Jesse, scared of what either of us would do if we spent too much time with her.

“You’re here because of the news coverage, aren’t you? So you know what he did to her. How he held her captive, how he shot her like she was some lame dog. Well despite all that she probably still hates you more.” Jesse snarled before turning and storming back the way we’d come. His Mother and I stared at each other for a couple of seconds, me doing my best goldfish impression before she turned and walked away, leaving me standing alone in the canteen with the entire room staring at me. 

“Show’s over guys.”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Hotch was half asleep on the chair on the other side of Marley while I played with her fingers. It was day nine of our vigil and we’d begun taking it in turns to sit with her; Jesse, Nick and Vince were back at the hotel getting some rest while we sat staring at the walls of that hideously familiar hospital. We hadn’t spoken in hours, after spending so long together we really had nothing left to say. Instead I sat watching the hypnotic artificial rise and fall of Marley’s chest as oxygen was pumped into her body by the thick green tube. It was funny; the synchronised beating of the many machines in the room had turned into background noise that barely registered in my consciousness.

 Until one of the machines let off a high pitched scream of distress.

Hotch was up in an instance and smashed his fist against the emergency call button as a strange gargle escaped Marley’s throat. All I could do was stare in horror as her body began shaking as if she’d been electrocuted and her eyelids flickered open to reveal the whites of her eyes as her eyeballs rolled back in their sockets. It was like something from a horror movie.

Several nurses raced into the room and pushed us towards the door but my feet were routed to the spot as I stared in horror at Marley’s shuddering body. One of the male nurses shoved me unceremoniously out of the room allowing the door to swing shut in my face.

Hotch’s panic stricken face mirrored my own as the screaming of the machine suddenly turned deathly silent.

 

    

  

 


	35. Panic

**35\. Panic**

**Spencer Reid POV**

We stayed staring at the door for what felt like an age, unable to move from our silent vigil. What the hell had happened? I tried to run through everything I knew about coma patients and seizures but I honestly had no idea why it had happened to Marley. Hotch put his hand on my shoulder to offer me some morsel of comfort but I couldn’t help wishing that it was Marley’s hand offering me comfort. I wasn’t sure how long we stood there; the second hand seemed to have frozen as we waited for what felt like hours. We seemed to have a mutual understanding that we wouldn’t call Vince unless we had something concrete to tell him; he was barely coping as it was, without us giving him a heart attack unnecessarily. Well, I hoped, I _prayed_ , it was unnecessarily.

“Mr Reid?” Despite the fact I hadn’t been able to peel my eyes away from the door since it had been slammed shut in my face I hadn’t noticed the Doctor appear until he was calling my name.

“Is she…?” I bit down hard on my lips with nerves.

“She’s waking up.”

“She’s…” I couldn’t comprehend what he’d just said, surely I’d misheard?

“She’s coming round; she’s still on morphine so she’ll be groggy but she’s waking up. You can go in and see her.” I turned to Hotch and grinned at him only to find him reciprocating it.

“Thank you.” I shook the Doctor’s hand before turning and embracing Hotch.

“I’ll call Vince and tell him, go be with her.” Hotch hugged me back tightly before giving me a small shove towards Marley’s door, not that I needed much persuasion. I couldn’t wait to see her, stare into those beautiful brown eyes and tell her how much I loved her. The first thing I noticed when I entered the room was the lack of the green tube that had, for the last nine days, kept her alive; instead a simply translucent oxygen tubing running into her nose. I quickly went back to my seat and grabbed her hand, barely able to contain my excitement I leaned closer to her.

“Marley, can you hear me?” I licked my lips as I prayed for an answer. Sadly only silence filled the room, but one of her fingers jolted in my hand. “Marley, can you do that again?” I begged, hoping I hadn’t just imagined it but the fingers moved a little more forcefully in my grasp. I grinned, as tears streamed down my face before bringing her slender fingers to my lips and kissing them.

“Spence?” A weak, but beautifully familiar, voice croaked. I looked up to find myself staring into those brown eyes I’d missed so much. I let out a little sob before leaning forwards and kissing her soft forehead.

“I’ve missed you.”

“Where have I been?” She coughed and stared quizzically at him.

“In a coma for the last nine days.” I couldn’t tear my gaze away from her eyes, for so long I’d wondered if I’d ever see them again.

“Wow, I really made you wait.” I snorted at her, glad she hadn’t lost her sense of humour.

“You did, how about next time you try to wake up quickly?”

“I’d rather not be shot again.” She leaned up and ran her shaking fingers down my cheek.

“I’m going to spend the rest of my life making sure you’re never in danger again. I love you.” I leaned down and kissed her cracked lips, the tears still streaming down my face. I looked up at a sudden movement in the doorway to see Hotch standing there crying.

“Hey Aaron.” She smiled and he hurried over to the other side of the bed.

“I am so sorry Marley.”

“It wasn’t your fault. Now please stop apologising.” She rolled her eyes at his uncharacteristically apologetic nature but he didn’t seem to care, only picking up her hand and squeezing it tightly.

“You’re Dad’ll be here soon.” She nodded that she had heard what he’d said but she had closed her eyes again, I guessed she still felt groggy from the pain medication. We sat in silence as we sat guarding her as she slept, both of us ecstatic that she was awake. I couldn’t wait to see her family’s face when they got here, although it led me back to wondering whether she’d see her Mother. Surprisingly Heather was still here, although thankfully she’d stayed away from her children.

When Vince burst through the door it was the first time I’d ever seen him look happy as his eyes sparkled with excitement at seeing his daughter awake. Jesse and Nick were both grinning as they approached the bed, Jesse came round to the side I was sat on and squeezed my shoulder.

“Has she said anything?” He asked as he stroked her thumb tenderly.

“Yes, but she’s still heavily sedated so she’s groggy.”

“ ‘m fine.” She mumbled as she opened one eye to see the new arrivals. “Daddy.”

“I’m right here, baby.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead as she raised an unsteady arm to embrace him.

“Hey sleeping beauty.” Jesse was the next to lean in and embrace his sister.

“Who are you and what did you do with my brother?”  He snorted but continued hugging her. “What happened to John?”

“Why do you care about that bastard?” Jesse snapped as he leaned back against my chair.

“I don’t, I just want to know if he’s still out there.” Her eyes flicked towards the door as if he was about to burst in to finish the job. I shuddered at the thought.

“He’s dead.” There was something victorious in Hotch’s voice, I could understand it. I’d never been so glad someone was dead in my life. She nodded before reaching out for my hand which I gripped tightly.

“How’s Jack?” She asked as she turned her head to bury it partially in the pillow, obviously still groggy.

“He’s missing you, maybe later when you’re feeling better you can talk to him.” A smile pulled at the corners of her lips at the idea as he eyes closed again, she gripped my hand tightly and mumbled something that sounded like ‘don’t leave’ before her breathing levelled out as she fell back asleep. We stayed quiet for a while to make sure she was asleep but then Vince began to get up, mumbling something.

“No way, you _are_ not going to speak to her!” Jesse yelled causing Marley to stir. I was surprised that Vince was the most amicable towards Heather; after all, she’d left him and his children. But then again, my Mother had been strangely amicable towards my Father during the Riley Jenkins fiasco; maybe it was a parental thing.

“Be quiet, your sister is sleeping.” Vince snapped.

“Trying to sleep.” Marley mumbled in agreement.

“You’ve slept for nine days, I think you’re fine.” Jesse fired back at her.

“There’s the brother I know and love. What’s up?” She opened one eye to take in the two Prince men glaring at each other.

“Dad wants to talk to Mom.”

“What!” She launched up on the bed only to let out a piercing scream of pain before flopping down onto the bed and clutching her chest as the machines she was hooked to began shrieking in distress. One of the nurses came running in to check on Marley who was gasping in pain, I stood up, flapping uselessly by her side as I tried to help her.

“If you’re causing her distress then you’ll all have to leave. She’s still very sick.” The nurse snapped glaring at the lot of us.

“No they’re fine. I just forgot where I was.” Marley gave a grimace that I’m sure she was trying to pass off as a smile before grasping my hand in hers while the other hand still gripped her side as she took several calming breaths.

“Just take it easy.” The nurse glared at the lot of us in warning before leaving us alone again. As soon as the door swung shut Marley turned to give her Father the patented Hotchner glare Marley was giving him. I felt bad for Vince, that glare could scare hardened criminals.

“Marls, she came to see you; she’s been her days. I didn’t want to send her away when you might want to…” He trailed off as the glare continued. Aaron patted her hand to soothe her while Jesse looked victorious that Marley agreed with his views on their Mother. “I’ll take that as a no. I’m sorry Marley, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Just don’t let her in.” She stipulated but she grabbed his hand and squeezed it in an act of forgiveness. Marley turned her head to the side, I guessed she was going to try and get some more sleep but then she froze as she caught sight of something. Her face blanched white and she started gasping for air as if the room had suddenly become an airtight vacuum, her nails bit deep into my flash as she began whimpering.

“Marls.” I stroked her arm as she tried to sit up again only to gasp in pain but she continued trying to get out of bed, even trying to pull the IV drip out of her arm. Terrified and confused at what the hell had set her off I moved to sit on the bed and try to pull her back down so she couldn’t hurt herself any further, although from the way she was gasping I was pretty sure her lungs were protesting her exertion. I began humming quietly like I’d seen her do with Jack when he was upset as I stroked her back with the hand that wasn’t attached to the arm that Marley was clinging to as if she was drowning. I was sure she’d drawn blood but I allowed her to dig her nails in deeper as she cried desperately. I hated seeing her like this; it made me want to kill Jonathon all over again.

“He’s here… he’s coming… he’s here… Spence help me!” She began babbling hysterically as she buried her head in my shoulder as she clung to me. Jesse looked desperately at me as he kept looking at the corner that had scared Marley; there was nothing there, just a table we’d been playing cards on. _Cards. "if you're into card games and peanut butter sandwiches."_

“The cards.” Hotch and I said at the same time.

“Move the cards.” Hotch instructed as he and Vince both rubbed her back to try and calm her down.

“Marley, its ok. We were playing earlier, it was not him. He’s dead Marley. I’m her sweetie, I’m here. No one is ever going to hurt you again. I promise baby.” I kept babbling as I peppered her forehead with kisses, all the while trying not to cry as I watched the girl I loved lose her mind over a pack of playing cards. She may have been on the road to recover physically, but mentally she still trapped with Jonathon.

And I had no idea how I was going to make her better.   

 

  


	36. Scare

**36\. Scare**

_I was back in the woods, beside the rocky outcrop where I’d spent the night. Only this time I wasn’t alone. John was looming ominously over me but something had frozen me in place so I couldn’t escape, all I could do was stare up at that hate filled face._

_“I told you the rules! You know what the punishment is!” He yelled angrily before pulling the blood covered knife out of his pocket and brandishing it in the air._

_“Please! Please, Jack needs me!” I begged but he lunged forward and thrust the knife into my stomach. Fire seemed to radiate out from the metal blade until it was all consuming. He pulled the knife out before repeatedly plunging it back in. “Help me! SPENCER HELP ME!”_

“Spencer!” I woke screaming with someone shaking me. I stared up at John and screamed. He was back. He was here and he was going to kill me. Where was Spencer, he’d promised to protect me. I launched myself at John, not prepared to go out without a fight.

 “GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME! GET OFF ME!” I screamed, but John was looming over me with that bloodied knife. I wrestled my hands out of his grasp and struck out at his face only to cause a familiar cry of pain which bought me out of the forest. For the first time I saw Spencer in front of me and what I saw made me feel sick; I must have caught the corner of his eye as blood was trickling down he face. I scrambled away from him to curl up on the other side of the room, afraid that I’d hurt him some more.

“Marley, Marley it’s ok.” Spencer tried to come closer to me, his arms opened and his eyes full of forgiveness: it sickened me. Spencer, however was not safe from the violence yet as he was suddenly pulled backwards until he landed with a loud thump on the floor.

“Get away from her!” Jack Hotchner yelled as he ran towards me and curled up on chest. “No one hurts Marley.”

“Jack, Jack its ok. It was a bad dream, Spencer didn’t hurt me.” I kissed my protector’s head and rocked him slightly as Spencer pulled himself to his feet but had the sense to remain on the other side of the room. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“He hurt you! I heard you shouting! I don’t like him.” Jack glared at Spencer as he cuddled close to me.

“Jack what on Earth’s going on?” Aaron appeared in the doorway yawning tiredly as he took in the scene in front of him.

“Spencer hurt Marley! He hurt her! Get him out!” Jack yelled indignantly.

“Jack I’m sure he wouldn’t…”

“Jack, Baby boy, I promise it was only a dream. Like the ones you have sometimes, when you need a cuddle?”

“Do you want a cuddle?” He asked and I nodded timidly, desperate for some comfort. He wrapped his thin arms around me and I copied his action, probably a bit too tightly then I should have.

“Come on Jack, let’s get you back to bed.” I pulled him into my arms and carried him across the hall, glad to have the distraction to get away from the concerned faces of Aaron and Spencer. By the time I’d laid Jack back in his bed my chest was on fire from the weight of his body, I hadn’t been out of hospital long and I was meant to be resting but cuddling my kid close made me feel safe. I sat on the edge of the bed with him and gently stroked his hair as I sung his favourite song quietly; I’d never sung it to John, I hadn’t wanted him to pollute our song. He’d taken so much else.

“You’ll be here when I wake up, right?” Jack asked timidly as I kissed his head; he’d asked me every night since I’d got back from hospital.

“Of course baby, we can have pancakes.” I promised him as I sat stroking his hair. I could remember the moment I’d seen him after spending nearly three weeks in hospital; I’d spoken to him several times while I was in hospital, the first time I’d heard that quiet little voice I’d sobbed uncontrollably and Aaron had had to take the phone while I composed myself. But it wasn’t the same as actually holding him in my arms which was why I could barely sit still as Aaron had driven me back home (I wasn’t allowed to fly yet because of my injuries). It had been the best moment of my life when, as we'd been walking down the hallway, the door burst open and Jack leapt into the corridor with the biggest grin on his face.

“MARLEY!” He screamed ecstatically before racing as fast as his little legs had carried him towards us. In that moment I didn’t care that I was recovering from major surgery and the doctor had told me I needed to relax and stay lying down, instead I bent down and opened my arms for him to race into. His body collided with mine and my ribs instantly protested the action but I couldn’t care less; for the first time in so long I felt complete.

“I love you baby.” I buried my face in his silky hair and clutched his body close. I was home.

Well I’d thought I’d been.

I stayed long after Jack had fallen back to sleep, not wanting to face the concern of Aaron and Spencer. I’d felt so guilty about hurting Spencer, I’d lashed out before when I had my daily nightmares but I’d never drawn blood before. I felt guilt settle like a lead weight in my stomach as I entered my room; Aaron was nowhere to be seen but Spencer was sat on the bed waiting for me. He smiled kindly at me as I walked in but my eyes were drawn to the scab that was forming at the corner of his eyelid. 

“It’s okay Marls, I understand.” His words made me lip wobble and tears blurred my vision as I made my way over to the window and leaned against the window pane.

“Please go, Spence. I can’t do this anymore.” I whimpered the last word as tears began falling down my face.

“Talk to me Marley.” Spencer begged from where he was sat on my bed but I kept my head firmly turned away from him, leaning against the cool glass as I watched the rain fall lazily down the window pane.

“What do you want me to say?”

“Whatever’s on your mind. _We’re_ worried about you.”

“Trust me, you don’t want to know what’s in my mind.” I turned slightly so I could see his eyes filled with pity. “You know when Aaron used to come home from a case; I’d ask if you saved the victim and if he said yes then I’d feel happy. I didn’t realise that it didn’t matter whether you saved them or not because they lost their lives whatever. _I_ lost my life.”

“Marley I know, believe me I know, how difficult it is to come back from something like this but you’re _alive._ That does matter.” He stood up and wrapped his arms around me but I shrugged him off. “It just feels like I’ve been cheated. All the time I was with John I just kept telling myself that I’d get home soon; back to Jack, back to Aaron, back to you, and everything would be alright. But it’s not. At first I thought that it was everyone else acting weirdly and I thought that once I settled back in then everything would be alright. But then I realised, it was _me_ that was different. Everything else is the same but it’s me that’s changed. I’ve changed and I can’t fit back into my old life and it’s not _fair_.” I snapped, allowing the supressed anger that had been building out to finally explode out at Spencer.

“I know, I know darling.” He tried to pull me into his arms but once again I pushed him away. I knew I was being a complete cow but I was just so _angry._ It wasn’t fair, I’d nearly died and the only thing that had kept me going was the thought of home. But it didn’t feel like home any more, we were all pretending that everything was back to normal but we all knew that it was lie.

“I don’t know what to do to make it better. I’m starting to realise that I can’t go back to my old life and I don’t know what to!” I turned away from him and bit down on my lip to keep from letting out a wail as tears flowed faster down my cheeks.

“I know, I know you can’t go back. You’ve evolved but eventually you’ll be able to move forwards. Have you thought about going to see that councillor that H… Aaron suggested?” I glowered at him but I knew it was probably the best suggestion I’d heard.

“I’m sorry; you never signed up for this.” I sighed and leaned back against the wall, keeping a decent length of space between us. “You should go.”

“I love you, I’m not…”

“That’s what you don’t understand! _I’m not her!_ Spence, I’m not the girl you fell in love with. I’ve changed.”

“Do you love me?”

“That’s not the point.” I whispered, unable to look him in the eyes.

“It is!”

“Of course I do! But what matters here is you, I’m giving you the chance to walk away.” I turned away, unable to watch the most important person in my life walk away but I couldn’t let him stay here while I self-destructed.

“Marley, look at me.” His soft fingers tugged at my chin to make me look into those hypnotic hazel eyes. “I am _never_ going to leave you; whatever it takes we will get through this. Now please can I hold you?” I nodded and sniffed as I felt myself enveloped in a warm embrace. I buried my head in his chest as I continued to cry angry, bitter tears. Spencer kissed my head and rubbed my back soothingly as he gently pulled me towards the bed where we lay together staring up at my family collage in the soft light from my bedside light; I couldn’t stand the dark anymore. I stared at the smiling faces of my brother and it made me feel a little bit better; my Dad had stayed for several days after I’d gotten out of hospital but his boss was getting tetchy and the last thing I’d needed was my Dad losing his job so he'd taken my brother home with the promise of coming back as soon as he could.

“I never meant to hit you; I thought it was him I promise.” I gently kissed the wound I’d created while Spencer rubbed my back.

“I know Marls its fine… I know what it’s like, Marley. How hard it is to get back. After Hankel…”

“You don’t have to tell me.” I whispered quietly, moving so I could stroke his hair away from his face.

“It’s okay, I want to… When I got back after the case I, I continued taking Dilaudid. I spent a few months using but eventually I managed to pull myself together. I still get cravings sometimes, when things are bad but I’ve worked through it. You’ll be fine too, you’re much stronger than me.” He kissed my head while I tried to take on board this new information. It didn’t change anything that I felt about him; I understood what it was like to need an escape. I’d contemplated much worse since my return.

“Did Aaron know?”

“I never explicitly told him… but he knew. He should have fired me but he kept it quiet, the while team did. That’s why you can trust him to help you through this.”

 “I guess I didn’t do much to help your cravings the last few weeks.”

“No,” He snorted gently “but you’re here now.” He kissed my head while I burrowed down into the crook of his neck; I felt safe there. I felt wide awake despite the fact I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since I’d come out of the coma; I’d been offered sleeping tablets but I refused them. I was petrified that they wouldn’t keep the nightmares at bay but instead I’d be trapped with John again, unable to wake up just being stabbed repeatedly with no hope of escape. I shivered at the idea.

“I love you.” I kissed his collar bone and squeezed him tightly. I wanted to turn the clock back to Halloween night but all I could do was reminisce over how perfect my life had been.

“We’ll survive this, Marley. I promise.”

I nodded but kept my eyes wide open, scared that John was waiting on the edge of my consciousness to snare me all over again. 


	37. The End

**37\. The End**

“We have to do something” Hotch sighed as the two of us stood against the counter in his kitchen. We’d got to the stage where we couldn’t kid ourselves that she just needed time, things were getting so much worse and no matter what we did nothing was working. Marley had been home for three weeks but she still hadn’t left the apartment, only making random excuses to Jack about why his Daddy had to pick him up from school. Between the two of us we were making things work, although it was hard going. The two of us had taken some time off from travelling with the team, only helping from Quantico while Derek had once again taken over as acting unit chief until things were sorted out at home. It was a testament to how bad Marley felt that she hadn’t once complained about us staying with her. The only time Marley ever acted even remotely normally was when she was with Jack. When they were together it was the only time she smiled, it was still a meek imitation of that former beacon of light but it was better than anything I could get her to muster. I tried not to take it too personally because I knew that Marley was desperate to make sure that Jack felt loved and safe; after everything he’d been through with his Mother we were all desperate to make sure he was happy.

“But what? She won’t take the sleeping pills and every time she speaks to the councillor it seems to do more harm than good.” I sighed exasperated but tried to keep my voice down, Marley was in the next room playing with Jack. Before Marley had come home Hotch had spoken to Jack and explained that she had had an upsetting time and he had to be understanding towards her, and that included never asking her to play cards with him. Jack was confused about how feeling ill could lead to a hatred of card games but he did what his Dad told him to.

“Maybe we could get a Doctor to come round and see her, maybe she could take some anti-depressants?” Hotch suggested as he leaned back against the refrigerator door. We were both exhausted, Marley woke up screaming every night and then it would take me over an hour to calm her down enough for her to sleep, or she might give up on sleep altogether and go and huddle in the living room watching the television. When that happened Hotch took over and sat with her so I could get some sleep, not that I could sleep much as the worry about the girl I loved settled like a lead weight on my chest.

“Do you think…” I never got to finish my thought as a scream broke out in the next room. We both shared a worried glance as we raced towards the living room to find Jack clutching his cheek, crying and Marley looking white as a sheet as she stood with her arms outstretched, obviously trying to placate him without getting too close.

“Daddy!” Jack yelled as he flung himself towards his Dad. “Marley hit me!”

“I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry. I never meant to…” She was crying as her hands flapped around uselessly by her sides.

“It’s ok.” I whispered but I knew it wasn’t. We’d never even considered that she might hurt Jack, it had seemed impossible but in hindsight it was something we should have foreseen. I mean Jack was the closest person in her life to Jonathon, one day he was bound to do something that bought on a flashback. Hotch bent down and consoled his son, all the while avoiding looking at Marley. I understood why, he was conflicted; on the one hand he understood that Marley would never harm Jack intentionally but his paternal instinct had kicked in and he was angry that his son had been hurt.

“Jack I’m so sorry baby, it was an accident. I never meant to hurt you.” Marley bent down and looked desperately at Jack for forgiveness.

“You say hitting’s not nice! It hurt!” Jack whimpered and cuddled his Daddy who rubbed his back. I risked a glance over at Marley who looked as if her heart had been broken in two.

“Let’s go into your room and play with Rooster, hey?” Hotch kissed his son’s head and began leading him out of the room.

“Aaron.” Marley whimpered as she searched his face for some sign of forgiveness, what she found was a small facial twitch that I guessed meant he hadn’t reached the ‘throwing her out into the night with no coat stage.’ Once the two had left Marley collapsed down onto the sofa and sobbed, it broke my heart as I sat and rubbed her shaking back.

“We understand, Aaron understands and Jack will be fine. What happened?” I kissed her lank hair and tried to pull her fragile form towards me, usually when she was like this she would shy away from all physical contact but this time her weakened body lent back against my chest.

“He was asking how long you were staying, I asked why and he said that I was his and not yours. It took me back to John and I lashed out. Oh God, I hit him. How the hell could I let this happen? I love Jack and I hit him. He’ll never trust me again. What did I do?” Marley wailed through her trembling hands that were clasped against her mouth, as if by trying to stop the words coming out of her mouth then it wouldn’t have happened. I kissed her head and shuddered as I remembered how small things would set me off after Hankel, not that my experience seemed to be able to help Marley right now.

“Just let him calm down, he’ll forgive you. He loves you Marley.” I promised her, although I was worried what Aaron would do now. I mean no matter how much he loved Marley, Jack would always be his main priority and he wouldn’t put him at risk for anyone. Marley turned around in my arms and searched my eyes for some assurance that Jack would forgive her, as I stared at the broken woman in my arms I couldn’t quite believe that she was the girl who I’d first fallen in love with. “We’ll get through this, baby.” I promised her quietly, her eyes betrayed the fact she didn’t believe me.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

“Maybe you should take her away for a bit.” Hotch whispered as we stood in the kitchen making dinner; Marley was sat on the sofa staring into space and Jack was playing in his room, he hadn’t come out since the earlier incident and I knew Marley was desperate to make it up to him but was too scared to go into his room.

“Are you serious?!” I snapped, before dropping my voice so Marley wouldn’t hear us. “She can’t leave the apartment, let alone go anywhere.”

“You could take her to see your Mom, she might enjoy that. Or back home, that might make her feel better.”

“Take her to Benington, she’ll think I’m leaving her there for good. And you know the lies she tells her Dad; how she’s back at college, how she’s getting better and moving on with her life. She won’t go back there and let him see the truth. What do you want her out of here?” I snarled quietly.

“I have to do what’s best for Jack, and Strauss is on at me to get back to work. We can’t go on like this.”

“I’ll stay with them then and you can go with the team. Although I would have thought that you’d be more worried about Marley’s health then your career. I mean, none of this would have happened if you hadn’t thrown her out the first time.” It was a completely spiteful thing to throw at Hotch but I was so angry that he was considering throwing Marley out after everything she’d been through, all to get back to him and his son.

“You know that’s not fair. He was watching us; he would have come after her whatever.” Hotch mumbled his defence, clearly irked by my low blow. “I’m not saying I’m going to throw her out into the night, but maybe it would be best if she stayed at yours for a little bit.”

“Fine, but let me tell her.” I snapped before storming out of the kitchen only to find Marley disappearing into her room. She’d heard the whole thing.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Dinner was a quiet affair. Quiet, that wasn’t quite the right word- try silent. Marley was pushing food around her plate looking forlorn and occasionally risking a peak at the red welt on Jack’s cheek while Hotch and I glared at each other across the table. Even Jack was unusually quiet as he ate his dinner, not even inquiring what he would get for dessert as he usually did.

“Hey Jack, how about after dinner Marley reads you a story?” Hotch broke the tense atmosphere as he smiled down at his son, trying to sort out the worsening relations between everyone at the table.

“No.” Jack whispered, keeping his head down. Marley visibly recoiled as if she had been physically slapped by his rejection.

“Come on buddy, we talked about what happened. Marley is really sorry and she wants to make it up to you.”

“No! I don’t want her! I don’t like her any more. I want my Mom!” He yelled before launching himself off the chair which clattered to the floor with a resounding smash before he raced off towards his room.

“Jack!” Hotch yelled before racing after him leaving me and a distraught Marley alone in the kitchen. I risked a peek over at her but couldn’t think of anything to say to make her feel any better.

“I’ve got to go.” Marley whispered, her face looking strangely resigned despite Jack’s outburst. “I… I want to sleep alone tonight. Go home, Spence.”

“Marley.” I began and grabbed her arm to keep her from leaving. She felt ice cold. “I love you, and so does Jack.”

“I know.” She bought her left hand up to cover mine and squeezed it gently before pulling my fingers away from her arm. “I know.” She repeated before turning and walking away.

She never looked back.

I tried to ignore the weight in my stomach that told me something was wrong. I was just worried about Marley, that was all. But the feeling refused to go away no matter what I did. Usually I would have confessed my fears to Hotch, however my was busy with Jack and hadn’t come back into the kitchen where I was sat, giving Marley the space that she had requested. Jesse called my phone several times but I didn’t answer, I couldn’t bring myself to lie to the boy and tell him that everything was fine when it clearly wasn’t. Finally something inside me snapped and I couldn’t bring myself to sit there anymore when every cell in my body seemed to be screaming that something wasn’t right. I’d just go into her room and check on her, maybe now she’d calmed down she would want some company; someone who would hold her and empathise while the rest of the world seemed to be splintering around her.

Jack’s door was closed as I headed down the corridor, but I knew Hotch was still in there trying to repair the damage that Jonathon had done to this family. _If that man was alive…_ I shook my head, he was dead and revenge wouldn’t change Marley’s state of mind. I stopped outside her door momentarily and fingered the knobbed as I prepared myself mentally for the night ahead.

“Marley, baby.” I began as I entered the room, only for the rest of the sentence to die on my lips. There was so much blood. But then what can you expect when someone slices two of their major arteries open. I froze in the doorway as I stared in utter horror at the prone body of my lover as she lay motionless on the blood stained sheets of her bed.

“HOTCH! HOTCH GET AN AMBULANCE.” I screamed as I grabbed two of her belts to try and stem the bleeding from her wrists. “Why Marley? Why the hell did you do this! HOTCH FOR GOD’S SAKE GET AN AMBULANCE!”  

  


	38. Afterwards

**38\. Afterwards**

**Spencer Reid POV**

She left a note, like they always did. Everyone who ever left seemed to think that throwing a few half thought out words onto paper made everything fine. Morgan said I shouldn’t be so hard on her, she’d been ill; she hadn’t known what she was doing. He was right, I knew that but it still _killed_ that she had been able to leave me when I could never have left her. Despite the fact my eidetic memory meant that I had could have recited the content of the letter after one reading, I must have read that note a hundred times. It was worn and frayed from the constant touching.

 I hated my eidetic memory for allowing me to remember with perfect clarity Marley lying unconscious with her life’s blood staining the duvet. As I’d tightened the belts around her arms to stem the bleeding Hotch had come running in holding the phone; the only time I’d ever seen that look pass across his face had been after Haley’s death. He raced to her bed as he barked instructions to the 911 operator, when he put the phone down and put pressure on the jaggered wound all he could say was ‘why’. I pressed down harder on her left wrist and kissed her forehead; _don’t leave me, please don’t leave. I love you._ It was then that I first noticed the scrunched picture in her hand, she’d clutched it tightly as if the happier time that was depicted in the photograph would diffuse by osmosis into her bloodstream to give her strength for what she had been about to undertake. Using my free hand I pulled the picture from her grasp and stared down at the four of us grinning in our Halloween costumes. _Why._

“Daddy.” Jack murmured from outside the door, the two of us looked towards the door which was wide open but luckily Jack was hidden around the corner, obviously scared about what was going on.

“Stay in your room Jack.” Hotch warned as he tightened his grip on Marley’s severed wrist.

“I want Marley, I want her to read me that story.” He whined and we heard movement in the hallway as if he was going to enter the room.

“Jack! Go into your room now!” Hotch barked gruffly and the boy quickly ran down the corridor and back to his room. It was better that he was upset at being shouted at by his Dad than seeing his Marley dying in our arms.

“Marley, please wake up.” He begged, it wasn’t particularly Hotch-like, begging, but I understood his desperation for her to wake up and tell us everything would be ok.

It didn’t happen like that, of course it didn’t. Instead we got paramedics rushing in to take her away from us and a tense wait for Jessica to look after Jack before a silent car ride to the hospital. We were ushered into the waiting room, ever since I met Marley I seemed to have spent an inordinate amount of time in hospital waiting rooms, only for a nurse to come in a few minutes later telling us that Marley had been taken straight to theatre. Rossi and Morgan appeared half an hour later looking atrocious, Jessica had called them and given them the note that she’d find in Marley’s room. I suppose I shouldn’t have been shocked that she’d addressed it to me, but I guess that I’d just assumed she would have wanted to say goodbye to Jack more than anyone else.

She had written it on the paper I had bought with me to write to my Mother, she wasn’t very good with change so the stationary always had to be the same; I guess that she thought it was appropriate. Hotch had quietly asked what she had said but I couldn’t bring myself to read it, not then, not when there was a chance that these weren’t her last words. I wasn’t sure when I finally opened it; everything that happened that evening seemed to have become one horrific blur. When I first read her goodbye note I’d cried, I hated the fact that she had felt so awful but had never been able to tell me. Maybe she had told, maybe I just hadn’t wanted to see the signs. Until it was too late. But it was all there in black and white, all the hurt and pain that she hadn’t been able to take any longer.   

 

_Dear Spencer_

_I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything that happened, everything that I’ve put you through these last few weeks. I don’t want you to think that I’m abandoning you because I’m not. I just can’t do this anymore. I can’t live this life of fear, I miss being me. I know how cowardly this must seem to you, especially considering what you and Hotch have been through, but I’m not strong like you guys. I could have carried on for Jack, but now I realise that he’s better off without me. I know that makes it sound as if I wouldn’t have carried on for you, I would have if I thought that that was what you needed. Maybe you think it still is, but I promise you that one day you’ll be glad I did this; I’m setting you free. I know you’ll all be okay without me; you’ll look after each other. Tell my Dad I’m sorry and it wasn’t his fault. I know it’s a lot to ask but can you please keep an eye on my family, whatever they make out they’re fragile._

_I love you. Never forget that. And tell Jack and Aaron I love them too._

_Forever yours,_

_Marley_

_Xxx_

After I reread the note several times, until the shaking writing seemed to have been burnt into my skull, I gave it to Hotch who buried his head in his hand and thrust the letter back at me. I decided not to tell him that she had heard our conversation, I didn’t think he’d ever get over that guilt; it would have destroyed him. Morgan and Rossi sat quietly on either side of us; they hadn’t called anyone else just yet. Neither Hotch nor I could deal with a crowd of people watching our grief right now.

“Marley Prince?” A white coated Doctor asked as he walked into the small waiting room looking haggard.

“Yes.” Hotch stood up. He was trembling as he looked towards the doctor, waiting to find out if Marley had been successful in killing herself.

“She survived surgery. She was very lucky, ten more minutes and she would have bled out.” I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes in relief. _I’d saved her._ The only problem was that I wasn’t sure if she’d wanted to be saved.

“Can we see her?” Hotch asked as he shook with relief. The Doctor nodded before leading the two of us down a corridor, the way felt vaguely familiar and I realised it was because this was where we’d been led after the car crash. It felt as if we’d come full circle.

Marley’s room was just down the corridor from the room Hotch had been in after the car crash but I didn’t think that Hotch had noticed, he seemed absorbed in his own thoughts. Probably still seeing Marley lying unconscious in a pool of her own blood, I knew I couldn’t get that image out of my head.

Seeing Marley was like travelling back in time to when she was shot; same beeping machines, same hospital gown, same unconscious girlfriend. Only she wasn’t unconscious, as we walked further into the room her left eye opened but she refused to look either of us in the eye. I tried to take hold of her hand but she pulled it away and folded her bandaged wrists across her chest to prevent anyone touching her.

“You should go.” She whispered, still avoiding eye contact.

“No, you don’t get to walk out on our family.” Hotch said as he sat down on the plastic chair opposite me.

“You wanted me out. I heard you.” Marley blinked back tears as she kept her eyes resolutely focused on the ceiling tiles. Hotch looked at me in shock but I stayed silent.

“I… I was acting rashly. You know what I’m like when Jack’s involved but I was wrong. Jack needs you, I need…”

“Jack doesn’t need me! He couldn’t even look at me. Why do you think I did it, he didn’t need me.” The tears trickled down her face and she angrily wiped them away.

“He does, he wanted you to read him a story. I had to keep him out. What if he’d found you, did you even think of that?” I glared at the angry tone in his voice but Marley didn’t seem to take offense, if anything she seemed shocked that Jack would have come looking for her.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered. “Aaron, can you promise me something? Can you not tell my Dad about this?”

“What?” Hotch whispered darkly.

“It would worry him, and then he’d come down and he’s already in trouble with his…” Marley stopped as Hotch’s face continued to darken.

“You nearly died. Once again I had to hold you and pray that you survived! Only this time it was because you’d decided you couldn’t carry on, you who wanted to leave us, leave _Jack._ When I think about what Haley would give to be here, but you…”

“Hotch!” I yelled as Marley began crying harder.

“I’m not saying it to be mean, I’m saying it because I love her and I don’t want to lose her. I want her to be a part of Jack’s, of _our,_ lives.”

“I know, but I don’t think that that is the best idea. Jack needs stability…”

“Jack needs _you,_ Marley. We all do, now stop believing we don’t. Now you’re going to do everything these doctors tell you, take the tablets they tell you to and see whatever psychiatrist they tell you to. Okay?” He gave her the stern Hotchner glare and she withered under it. “I’ll call Jessica and tell her you’re going to be okay. I won’t tell your Dad, for now.” Realising it was the best deal she was going to get; she nodded before going back to staring forlornly at the ceiling tiles. I knew Hotch was giving us time alone, but suddenly I was scared; what could I say to make her see sense. See that I needed her more than anyone else on this planet.

“You read the letter?” She asked quietly.

“Yes, I did.” I held it up as proof, not that she looked in my direction to see it.

“Then you know why you need to walk out of this room and never look back.”

“Marls, this isn’t you talking! We love each other, doesn’t that matter to you?”

“I love you, more than you can imagine and that’s why I want you to leave. You deserve to get married and have beautiful genius children.”

“I do,” I agreed with her. “But I want to have all of that with you baby. I love you and we’re going to get you better. You just have to stay strong for me.”

“I don’t deserve you.” She whispered, finally turning to look into my eyes. “You do understand what I said in that letter, the reason why I left you. I don’t want you to think that I wanted to abandon you.”

“I know, love. I love you.” It wasn’t exactly true, I was still upset that she had been willing to kill herself, to leave me but I also knew that I had to come to terms with it in my own time. Right now I had to make sure that she was going to survive.

“Move over.” I whispered, she looked like she was going to complain but as I was channelling Hotch’s ‘do what I say or else’ glare she carefully moved along the bed so I could lie down next to her. I manoeuvred her gently so that her head was on my chest although she was still stiffer than usual. I ran one of my hands through her curly hair trying to get her to calm down. I suddenly remembered her and Jack’s favourite song, and began singing it quietly. I stopped when I felt wetness on my chest, great I’d made her cry. “Baby I’m sorry, I was just…”

“No, you’re so adorable, I don’t deserve you.” I kissed her head as she settled finally moved her hand so that it rested on my chest, over my heart.

“Never leave,” I whispered as I cradled her close to my heart, where she belonged. 


	39. Epilogue: I Do

**Epilogue: I do**

**Marley POV**

**4 years later**

“You look beautiful.” Aaron smiled as he watched me get ready from the doorway. He had tears in his eyes that made me feel my own eyes getting wet. Four years had passed since Jonathon’s attack, four years that I didn’t want to dwell on too much; they had been full of counselling sessions and drugs and baby steps. Sometimes it didn’t feel as if I was ever going to recover, there were times when it felt like the four walls of Aaron’s apartment would be all I was ever going to see for the rest of my life, but slowly I’d managed to take my first few steps outside. It had taken eight months before I could return to college and another three before I could spend a night in Spencer’s apartment, but I’d done it. Well, _we’d_ done it. It had been a collaborative effort between everyone in my life but Spencer had played the biggest part; he’d stayed true to his promise in the hospital to ‘never leave’ me. He’d even come with me when I made my pilgrimage to Jonathon’s grave on the second anniversary of the abduction. He, and Aaron, had both thought it was a bad idea but I don’t think they could really understand it unless they’d seen him the way I had. I’d wanted to make sense of everything, to understand how he could seem so childlike and so deadly all at the same time. Of course I hadn’t got those answers from the dull concrete headstone but I’d got something else instead; a sense of closure. I guess when I finally saw that he was dead, that he couldn’t hurt me, then I finally realised I was free. I guess I’d also said goodbye to the old me there too, and it was there that I began to realise that just because I was a different person it didn’t mean I’d lost my life. As long as the people I loved were with me, then I’d be alright.  

“Yeah like a Princess.” Jack’s declaration as he came bouncing into my room bought me out of my revere; I didn’t want to think about Jonathon today. Today was the first day of the rest of my life. Jack looked up lovingly at me; he was still my little boy even if I couldn’t lift him up anymore. Although he was only nine you could already tell he was going to have his Father’s handsome features, everyone remarked on it; we were already worrying about the teenage years and all the girls who would be hounding our home. Well, it wasn’t really my home anymore. I’d moved out a year ago to live with Spencer although I still looked after Jack every afternoon and stayed over when Aaron was working which meant that I still spent a ridiculous amount of time in the house.

“Princess, now that is a compliment.” I grinned at him and quickly blinked away the tears. He looked so grown up in his suit; it reminded me of the one he wore at Halloween only this one fit him and I had to say he looked great. Aaron was wearing the self-same suit; all of the wedding party were wearing the same light grey suit with a burgundy tie.    

“We’re going to be late!” My Father anxiously called as I heard him bustling about outside in the corridor.

“I’m the bride; I’m allowed to be late.” I grinned as I said the word, bride. I was getting married, in a few hours I’d be someone’s wife. Spencer’s wife. Excitement and love bubbled inside me until I could barely stand still; I was bouncing on my white satin heels. I wanted to be at the ceremony now, with the ring on my finger and Spencer’s hand in mine.

“Well you don’t want the poor boy thinking you’ve jilted him at the altar; you know what he’s like.” My Dad babbled as he entered the room only to stop dead when he saw me. “My God, you look beautiful.”

“Like a princess.” Jack repeated.

“Yes, my little princess.” My Dad agreed as he wiped away tears before hugging me tightly. He held me out at arm’s length to get a good look at me. My hair was pulled up with a few curls framing my face; as the years had gone on I’d slowly come to terms with the way I looked, and Spencer’s reaction every time I left my hair natural had helped. I knew he’d get a kick out of it today of all days. My dress was strapless and flowing, appropriately white with embroidered flowers across the bodice and spreading like ivy down the front; it matched my engagement ring, a silver band with several smaller diamonds forming a flower. He’d proposed to me on the day we graduated, eighteen months ago, in Aaron’s kitchen because it was where we’d first laid eyes on each other.

_“Do you remember the day we first met?” Spencer asked as he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed my exposed neck. Even after all these years I still felt a pleasurable tingle race down my spine at his touch._

_“Of course, it was the best day of my life.” I told him sincerely. “You didn’t even want to shake my hand.”_

_“No,” He snorted. “How things have changed.” As if to demonstrate his point further he laced his elegant fingers between mine._

_“I love you.” I promised his as he turned me round so that we were flush against each other._

_“There’s a reason I wanted us to celebrate here.” He whispered, his hot breath sounding obscenely loud in my ear as his teeth grazed my cheek. “I wanted us to be stood right here, where we met, where we first fell in love.”_

_He pulled away from me and kissed me, before dropping down in front of me onto one knee. I stared down at him, praying that he hadn’t gotten cramp. Luckily he reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a red velvet box, much like the one he’d given me the necklace in. I felt tears well up as I stared down at the love of my life on his knees, this was perfect. He opened the box to reveal a simple gold band with tiny diamonds forming a flower. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen and I could imagine Spencer spending hours in a jewellery store pondering over which one would seal the deal._

_“Marley Elizabeth Prince, you are the most beautiful, kind, amazing woman that I have ever met and I thank God every day that I met you. Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”_

_“Yes!” I shrieked and pulled him up from the floor before placing a bruising kiss on his lips as he crushed me against his body in ecstasy._

_“I love you.” We promised each other as he slipped the perfect ring onto my finger, where it would stay for the rest of my life._

I fiddled with the ring now and I smiled as I thought of Spencer. He was perfect; how anyone could find a fault with him I wasn’t sure. I couldn’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him, the two of us against the world that was what we always said. My Dad kissed my head before quickly swiping at his glassy eyes to try and prevent the unshed tears flowing over. Garcia, who had been stood abnormally quietly in the corner just watching us, suddenly appeared at my side and squeezed my arm to silently communicate that we really needed to leave. She looked beautiful, in the same burgundy dress as the other bridesmaids; it was a floor-length gown with thin spaghetti straps and light pink embroidered flowers across the bodice that matched the white ones on mine. The other bridesmaids were all making the final arrangements to their bouquets of flowers. There were five of them; Emily, JJ, Rebecca my oldest school friend who was also my maid of honour and Kate who was my best friend from college, she’d been assigned to help me catch up on all the work I’d missed and we’d slowly become great friends. Rebecca turned and handed me my bouquet of red and white roses before bending down to check that my dress fell down correctly, what could I say, she was taking her maid of honour duty extremely seriously.

“Can you give us a minute, don’t worry I’ll have her downstairs in two minutes.” Aaron added quickly when Garcia and Rebecca gave him a death glare, but they agreed to his demand and all left the room to wait in the living room area of our hotel room. The beautiful suite had been Dave’s wedding present to us; we wanted Diana to be at the wedding so we were holding it in Las Vegas and Dave had insisted on getting us the best suite he could in the hotel where we were getting married.

“What’s up Aaron?” I asked as he fiddled in his pocket for something. “You proposing to me too?”

“I’ve just got you out of my house, I don’t want you back!” He laughed, although to be honest he probably saw just as much of me now as he did when I actually lived with him. “I just… I have something to complete your tradition, you know, something old, something borrowed? It was my Mother’s, she wore it on her wedding day and Haley wore it on ours… and I guess Jack’s wife can wear it on their wedding day. One of the stones fell out so I had to get a new one, so it all fits. I just thought… if you want, you could wear it.”

He blushed as he babbled all the while holding a blue velvet box in his hands, on the interior lining a beautiful silver bracelet with three small sapphire hexagons embedded in the silver band had been loving laid out. It was beautiful and I felt honoured that he wanted me to carry on his family’s tradition.

“I’d love to wear it.” I kissed his cheek before holding out my wrist so he could do up the clasp.

“We better get you outside before they send in a search party. I’m proud of you.” He fingered the old healed scar on my wrist and I followed his progress with my eyes, feeling ridiculously vulnerable as he pinpointed my weakest spot but I knew that Aaron would look after me. He squeezed my hand before leading me out to the waiting crowd who were laughing excitedly.

“Ready kid?” My Dad asked as he held out his arm for me to take.

“Ready.” I grinned.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

My heart was beating like a hummingbird in my chest as I waited for my cue to enter the room with my Dad by my side. He was gripping my hand tightly, trying to stop me from jumping around too much; what could I say, I was so excited to marry the man of my dreams. My Dad laughed before pulling me close as we heard the music change, he kissed my cheek as we proceeded forward. Everyone was stood up watching me but I only had eyes for Spencer. He was stood at the front by Derek and smiling at me like I was the most wonderful thing he’d ever laid eyes on. I blushed under the intensity of his gaze but couldn’t tear my eyes away from him. _I love you,_ he mouthed at me and I smiled before mouthing the same back.

When we reached him my Father kissed my cheek before, reluctantly, releasing my hand and giving it to Spencer. His grip was warm and I could feel small tremors in his fingers as he nervously twitched in front of the crowd.

“You look beautiful.” He whispered as the ceremony started.

“You don’t look too bad yourself, handsome.” He blushed at the comment before turning back to the front. The reverend began his sermon but I wasn't listening. All I could focus on was the feeling of our interlocking hands. Every few seconds, as if we'd timed it, we would share sidelong glances at one another; every time he turned his entire face was lit up with happiness. We turned back to the reverend who was still continuing his monologue about the importance of love. I didn't need him to tell me how important Spencer’s love was. It was everything to me. We both grinned like lunatics as the reverend instructed us to make our vows, very soon we’d be married.

"I, Marley Elizabeth Prince, take you, Spencer William Reid, to be my lawfully wedded husband,  
secure in the knowledge that you will be my constant friend, my faithful partner in life, and my one true love. On this special day, I give to you in the presence of God and all those in attendance my pledge to stay by your side as your faithful wife in sickness and in health, in joy and in sorrow, as well as through the good times and the bad. I promise to love you without reservation, comfort you in times of distress, encourage you to achieve all of your goals, laugh with you and cry with you, grow with you in mind and spirit, always be open and honest with you, and cherish you for as long as we both shall live." Tears glimmered in both our eyes and most of the congregations as we made our solemn promises to love one another forever. Derek bought forward two silver bands which the reverend proceeded to bless before handing the larger one to me. I slid it onto his finger, with promises of love and he did the same. The weight felt unfamiliar but it was a symbol of our love and I never wanted to take it off.

"I now pronounce you man and wife; you may now kiss the bride." The congregation began clapping and cheering as we leaned forward. One of Spencer’s hands found its way to my neck to pull me forward, not that I needed much encouragement, and I met those familiar moist lips that made my world a better place. It was chaste and light but held the promise of more to come later.

“I love you, Mrs Reid.” He laughed, looking joyous as pulled me into his arms.

“I love you too!” I kissed him again, deeper this time as utter bliss settled over me. Surely it wasn’t right that one person could cause me this much happiness. I pulled away from him and risked a glance at the congregation, who were all on their feet clapping. Jack was jumping up and down, whooping and laughing in the front row.

Spencer followed my gaze and laughed too when he saw how happy the other man in my life was for us.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

As the first chords of our first dance played out I was happily encircled in Spencer’s arms as he swayed us gently on the dance floor. One of my hands rested over his chest so I could feel his beating heart beneath my fingers. His head rested close to mine so his breath tickled my cheek as I turned my head so I could kiss him.

“I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you… well, until Derek finally realises that I’m the girl for him.” I joked and Spencer rolled his eyes but kissed me back.

“Why you? What if I decide to run off with Kate?”

“We could always opt for an open relationship?” I laughed before snaking my arms around his neck so I could pull him just that little bit closer, my subconscious obviously hating the conversation, even if we were joking.

“We probably should have worked this out before our wedding.” He laughed before motioning towards another couple who had joined the dance floor after our first dance. I snorted when I saw who it was; somehow Jesse had convinced Emily to dance with him and they were swaying together on the dance floor.

“I’m surprised it’s not Dave.” I giggled; Jesse’s ‘crush’ on Dave had become a running joke between all of us. Both my twin brothers were currently studying at college; Nick was studying linguistics at Caltech (It was best not to dwell on how he’d got the illusive scholarship) and Jesse was studying criminal law in DC, after what had happened to me he’d decided that he wanted to go into the FBI. Spencer, who had treated him as a brother since they’d first met always beamed with pride whenever Jesse was in the BAU building and happily introduced him to all of his peers. Although Jesse’s favourite member of the team was, without a doubt, David Rossi. They seemed an unlikely combination, and Morgan still hadn’t stopped teasing Rossi for the infatuated teenager that followed him around the office asking him questions but it seemed a mutually beneficial relationship; Jesse got to hear about profiling from the founder and I think Rossi enjoyed the attention of a trainee who worshipped the ground he walked on.

Jack danced over and grabbed my hand before tugging on it, obviously wanting to dance with me. I think he was just thrilled that after I got back from my honeymoon the two of us got to spend the entire summer together before I went back to college; I had decided that I wanted to become a teacher. My career revelation had occurred halfway through my last year when I was in the process of having a complete meltdown as I tried to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I could feel my Dad was itching to say ‘I told you so’ but had managed to hold his tongue. Of course I had the money I got from looking after Jack but I wanted a proper job, but one that would still allow me to look after him. Then I’d been sat with Aaron in one of Jack’s parent teacher conferences and it suddenly hit me; I wanted to teach. Aaron had laughed when I’d told him before revealing that everyone at the BAU had been taking bets on when I would admit that I wanted to teach; I’d just had to role my eyes and insisted that they were all psychic.

We partied on till the early hours of the morning; Derek took his best man duties very seriously and ended up disappearing with Rebecca, Jesse got drunk and tried to kiss JJ only to find a very angry Will waiting for him and Emily was caught on the balcony in a compromising position with Jeff, one of Spencer’s old school friends. So all in all it was a normal family wedding. Spencer and I retired to our honeymoon suite as the first rays of dawn broke across the Mojave Desert, we would catch a few hours’ sleep before we left for the airport for our honeymoon; we were going travelling across Europe for three weeks to London, Paris and Venice.

After we found our room and Spencer had rifled through his pockets for the key he’d had to wrestle from an intoxicated Morgan, Spence wrapped one strong arm around my shoulders and the other under my knees so that he could pull me up into his arms. I yelped in shock before quickly wrapping my arms around his neck to keep my balance.

“We’re starting married life properly.” He joked as I looked at him as if he had lost his mind, but then I found that I quite liked the feeling of safety that bloomed inside of me as he cradled me in his arms.

That was how I started the next phase of my life; feeling safe and loved in my husband’s arms.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I hope you enjoyed that. It was one of my favourite things I've ever written and I loved the characters which is why I keep coming back to them. So if you would like to please check out the sequel, Salvation, which follows on from the epilogue. There are also three spin off mini stories that I wrote which link to certain episodes and story lines. They are all on my page so please have a look. Thank you for reading to the end!


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